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Being openly gay in public
Just wanted to get general thoughts and opinions here really. I'll tell my story first.
I'm in a gay relationship, almost five months. At first, we weren't openly intimate (by intimate, I mean hand holding, hugging, peck on the lips) with each other in public. This was mainly because we hadn't told our friends. However, now we're this far into the relationship, we're openly intimate in public. It's nothing more than what I've described above though; we don't suck each other's faces off in the street!
When we do hug, hold hands, etc, I'm always ... not uncomfortable, as such, but aware of people around me and what they might be thinking and whether they're homophobic or not. For example, if we're holding hands on a train, I'll look around to gauge general opinion in the carriage of us holding hands, and if I think (rightly or not) that people are uncomfortable or could get uptight about a gay couple's intimacy, I'll try and stop holding hands, whatever.
It's not that I don't want to hold my boyfriend's hand, but it's just gauging whether the situation is right or not. It's obvious we'll receive a different response if we kiss in public, to that of a straight couple. We've never received abuse in public for this kind of stuff yet, but I'm still aware. I have seen people give us a few odd looks, and once somebody laughed when we kissed, but that's the extent of it.
I was just wondering what people thought of seeing openly gay couples being intimate like this in public? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Or couldn't you care less? And to anybody who is in a gay relationship, what are your experiences of being open in public?
I can't speak for being in a straight relationship, but I can imagine I'd feel more at ease being intimate with a female partner in public.
I'm in a gay relationship, almost five months. At first, we weren't openly intimate (by intimate, I mean hand holding, hugging, peck on the lips) with each other in public. This was mainly because we hadn't told our friends. However, now we're this far into the relationship, we're openly intimate in public. It's nothing more than what I've described above though; we don't suck each other's faces off in the street!
When we do hug, hold hands, etc, I'm always ... not uncomfortable, as such, but aware of people around me and what they might be thinking and whether they're homophobic or not. For example, if we're holding hands on a train, I'll look around to gauge general opinion in the carriage of us holding hands, and if I think (rightly or not) that people are uncomfortable or could get uptight about a gay couple's intimacy, I'll try and stop holding hands, whatever.
It's not that I don't want to hold my boyfriend's hand, but it's just gauging whether the situation is right or not. It's obvious we'll receive a different response if we kiss in public, to that of a straight couple. We've never received abuse in public for this kind of stuff yet, but I'm still aware. I have seen people give us a few odd looks, and once somebody laughed when we kissed, but that's the extent of it.
I was just wondering what people thought of seeing openly gay couples being intimate like this in public? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Or couldn't you care less? And to anybody who is in a gay relationship, what are your experiences of being open in public?
I can't speak for being in a straight relationship, but I can imagine I'd feel more at ease being intimate with a female partner in public.
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I hate it when a see a guy kissing his fat slobbering girlfriend as I saw on Friday on the bus seat infront of me.
I hate all PDOA so yea, it would annoy me - especially kissing (not hand holding).
A lot of peopel are homophobic on varying levels (you might be surprised at how many peopel told me they wouldn't watch Brokeback Mountain because of its topic) so I can imagine a few dodgy looks.
I hate all PDOA so yea, it would annoy me - especially kissing (not hand holding).
A lot of peopel are homophobic on varying levels (you might be surprised at how many peopel told me they wouldn't watch Brokeback Mountain because of its topic) so I can imagine a few dodgy looks.
I recently went out with a group of girls which included a gay couple who held hands, snuggled up to each other and stuff. The impression I got was that it wasnt something people were used to seeing in public but they weren't against it.
Clubber Lang
A lot of peopel are homophobic on varying levels (you might be surprised at how many peopel told me they wouldn't watch Brokeback Mountain because of its topic) so I can imagine a few dodgy looks.
I agree with you on that point. Lots of people have said to me, including those who know I'm gay, that they haven't watched Brokeback Mountain due to it's content. :/ But I think that's more just 'Eeeew gayness' than actual downright 'Gay scumbags'.
You're right with the dodgy looks...
Personally I wouldn't be uncomfortable at all- I'd worry about the reaction from some less accepting people though I think it's sad that people should be made to feel uncomfortable for simply holding hands in public
I've not really thought much into being in a relationship with a guy and how i'd act in public with them...
Me being witness to gay public displays of affection, though - just like my liberal attitude to gay marriage, and homosexuality as a whole, i have nothing against it. I can appreciate that, for some people, it's a bit of a new experience for joe public to see it happen... so I can understand why you get a few looks sometimes, but in all honesty, I think people are fairly tolerant; Merely surprised.
Me being witness to gay public displays of affection, though - just like my liberal attitude to gay marriage, and homosexuality as a whole, i have nothing against it. I can appreciate that, for some people, it's a bit of a new experience for joe public to see it happen... so I can understand why you get a few looks sometimes, but in all honesty, I think people are fairly tolerant; Merely surprised.
brimstone
I was just wondering what people thought of seeing openly gay couples being intimate like this in public? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Or couldn't you care less? And to anybody who is in a gay relationship, what are your experiences of being open in public?
I was just wondering what people thought of seeing openly gay couples being intimate like this in public? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Or couldn't you care less? And to anybody who is in a gay relationship, what are your experiences of being open in public?
Dude, these are clearly your hang ups and not the general public's. Do you secretly want people to care and abuse you or something? Seems an odd concern to have if you're happy being gay and happy in your relationship. As you say, no one's ever said anything to you, maybe one or two people have laughed (perhaps you're just paranoid?), in which case give the public some credit and stop expecting to get lynched by a mob of homophobes!
sparkler
mmmm, jake gyllenhaal...
Hmm I thought that too lol.
puppy
Dude, these are clearly your hang ups and not the general public's. Do you secretly want people to care and abuse you or something? Seems an odd concern to have if you're happy being gay and happy in your relationship. As you say, no one's ever said anything to you, maybe one or two people have laughed (perhaps you're just paranoid?), in which case give the public some credit and stop expecting to get lynched by a mob of homophobes!
I didn't say they weren't my hang ups... I said I was just aware of the reaction that I might receive from the general public.
And trust me, when you live in a very homophobic area, and when you get homophobic abuse shouted at you when you go on stage to perform at your school's talent show, then you have a right to be paranoid.
Not that I am being. I'm just wondering.
imo i couldn't give a **** what you do. Bum him at the bus station for all I care - only difference is, if it were a straight couple i'd whip out the ol' camera phone and cap a video to add to my dogging collection.
brimstone
I didn't say they weren't my hang ups... I said I was just aware of the reaction that I might receive from the general public.
And trust me, when you live in a very homophobic area, and when you get homophobic abuse shouted at you when you go on stage to perform at your school's talent show, then you have a right to be paranoid.
Not that I am being. I'm just wondering.
And trust me, when you live in a very homophobic area, and when you get homophobic abuse shouted at you when you go on stage to perform at your school's talent show, then you have a right to be paranoid.
Not that I am being. I'm just wondering.
I don't really get what you're getting at. You said you didn't really get much attention... but that people come to your school talent shows just to shout at you? And you're not paranoid... you just want to know what everyone is thinking about you?
Personally I feel uncomfortable when i'm around people who are all over eachother, gay or straight, but holding hands is cute
'bum him at the bus station' is the best advice ever. i'm going to try and use it in a difficult situation a.s.a.p
it's what they pay me for
goodmen
i dont have anything against gays and dont really care what they get up to, but i dont want to see men holding hands/kissing in public. It makes me feel uncomfortable and a little off. I'm not hobophobic but i also dont want gay forced down my throat
But why are you uncomfortable with it? No doubt you'd be getting a little hot under the collar if it was 2 girls. Just because you don't find it arousing doesn't mean you should demand it be confined to behind closed doors, surely?
Mad Vlad
But why are you uncomfortable with it? No doubt you'd be getting a little hot under the collar if it was 2 girls. Just because you don't find it arousing doesn't mean you should demand it be confined to behind closed doors, surely?
But lesbians are hawt.
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