I get laid 'naturally' only every 4-6 months. For some reason I seem unable to break out of this long stretches of droughts. I've had lucky streaks where I'd be seeing a couple of girls at ones or several lays in several weeks but for years and years it always ends up I am stuck in the 4-6 months rut.
It is extremely depressing to me watching seemingly every other guy in the world with hot girlfriends except me. I do aim to see girls again but never turns out that way though it is my goal not just one night stands. Before you say its because Im so desperate and needy that is cr^p. Ive seen girls in the past a few times and they were well into me. Ive just been cursed for several years since the recession in 2008, my life just got worse and eworse socially. I blame the Tories.
But I can't control when Im next going to get laid. I can do things to increase my chances sure but still in the dry seasons I literally feel like Im going to die. It's like summer on the serengetti where all the animals are desperately pooling around the smallest puddle of a waterhole.
I've tried getting into other activities like playing sport again and socialising a bit more ie non sexual socialising. It is a minor distraction but like an open wound that nagging feeling of desperation is always in the back if my mind. I will be enjoying a conversation but as soon as it goes quiet I think "I need to be getting laid and my life is slipping away!"
I might enjoy it for a bit but as soon as I get home again the chasm of emptiness is back. I tried buddhism and being happy being alone but I hate it. I need constant sexual gratification. It's almost like air where life is fine if you have it but as soon as it's gone you'll be desperate for it. I think i must have a higher sex drive than most because Im always thinking about it 24/7 and in agony when I dont get laid for more than a few weeks. I do see other guys always look longingly at girls just like I do so they must feel the same pain. Maybe they are just used to the torture of not getting it.
The only thing that blows it away properly is a nice hit of drugs but I try to avoid them now.
Girls have no idea of the pain of sexual despreration since they live in total sexual abundance that is until they get into their later 20s of course then they join the rest of us mortals as their value quickly diminishes never to return as eyes turn to the younger girls
I see my two options are- start taking drugs again to turn me into a social terminator and supercharge myself to approach more girls. It feels like an ends justify the means type thing. Ppl I bet will say oh no its wrong and immoral but I bet 90% of your parents met while relying on the number 1 drug of abuse- alcohol.
Although Ive been abstinent for a long time it seems so unfair that everyone is drunk and also on mdma these days giving them a real advantage talking to girls. I hate alcohol and have no desire to take mdma again but I have a few tricks up my sleeve in that department that Id break out. This feels like code red where the nukes have to be deployed. They cause serious fallout but you gotta use the heavy artillery.
2. see hookers in the hopes it dimishes my sex fever to the point I cna think straight again.
Both seems about equally as risky. drugs are cheaper but less good for you. Hookers more expensive.