constanstly being left out

Recently I've just felt increasingly left out of my so-called group of friends, meetings and events keep on going out wiithout me, I just found out that one of my supposively best friends had a big party and I of course wasn't invited. I go to an alls girls school where there are discisive groups in which it it hard to not belong in or move out of and intergrate with others.

Even at my own 16th birthday I felt I was left out, I hate feeling like this and was up till recently going to move schools for 6th form, but decided to stay, missing most of the application dates, I have no idea what to do and just feel the crap, crud and at this moment very sorry for myself.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I'm afraid to say it, but that's just the nature of the game at 16. It only really changes, in my experience at around 18+, especially if you go to university.

Personally, I'd suggest you grow some thick skin, don't let it bother you and gain the attitude - it's not what you can do for them, it's what they can do for you. But you need to be confident enough to actually realise this.

Moving school sounds like a good idea as you can aim to meet new people, but bare in mind; it doesn't always work out. I left school, went to college - met no one, dropped out and went back to sixth form. I have met so many new people who consider me a friend, etc since I was 16 it's quite strange. By very definition, I'd describe myself as popular, yet I still feel the same as I did when I was in your position, albeit the paranoia no longer exists. I don't 'feel' popular but I know I have lots of friends and a very active social life.

It's hard to describe, but if you're a good enough person - people will eventually rather be around you then push you away.

Reply 2

ScarecrowJack

I think people do that kinda stuff as a really pathetic and cowardly way of being dominant and establishing superiority...it's not directly malicious but weakens and oppresses through inaction instead of direct bullying.

To be honest, all you can do is try and talk to other people, there's not much you can do but I'm 19 and I haven't had anyone do it for a long time now, I think people grow out of it.

Reply 3

khil

15

Anonymous

Recently I've just felt increasingly left out of my so-called group of friends, meetings and events keep on going out wiithout me, I just found out that one of my supposively best friends had a big party and I of course wasn't invited. I go to an alls girls school where there are discisive groups in which it it hard to not belong in or move out of and intergrate with others.

Even at my own 16th birthday I felt I was left out, I hate feeling like this and was up till recently going to move schools for 6th form, but decided to stay, missing most of the application dates, I have no idea what to do and just feel the crap, crud and at this moment very sorry for myself.

I'm sure there're other people who haven't got a group they're intergrated into and who feel just as left out as you do - how about trying to talk to those people and be friends with them?

And talk to your current friends that you feel left out. If they're friends worth having, they'll care and change.

Failing that, just get over it, but not in a harsh way. You learn to cope. I've been a loner for about 4 years at school before I found any friends. I'd sit in Art lessons with the entire table to myself, and at PE I'm always the one who has no partner, and I wandered around the school on my own or sat on my own in the library. You learn to cope and you stop minding. Then when I got my group of friends by yr11, a lot of the times to start off with, they kept organising things and not inviting me - I just wasn't part of them yet - and I just resigned to accepting that they're just not as good friends with me, you know? I'm lucky though in that I've always had one or two people who were my good friends in various years at school.

Got to university, and now I have a bunch of really close friends :smile:

But even now, I still feel left out sometimes. Like I'd be talking and then people would interrupt and start a new topic of their own, when I hadn't finished. Or I'd try to join in with the conversation, I'd ask a question or make a comment, and no one would notice - most of them wouldn't have heard cus they were so into their own conversation, or they would respond with just a smile and a nod, then go right back to what they were on about. I almost always feel left out when I'm in a group. And I've simply learnt to not expect to be invited every time - and in school, it just meant they're not as close friends with me as I'd want. And at uni, it means nothing - it just means people can't always be hanging out with you and it doesn't mean they're not close to you - it's just they gotta split their time evenly between people.

Basically, you learn to cope. Don't worry about it. Once you get to uni, it'll be better :hugs:

Reply 4

James

14

;console; It sounds like you're having a really tough time.

Try not to let things bother you so much. I'm afraid you're at an age where kids can be thoughtless and even cruel at times, and there's not much you can do about that. Just remember that it's not your fault, and try to keep your spirits up. Also, don't forget that although some idiots are being unfriendly, there are bound to be plenty of other students you can be good friends with. They're quite possibly feeling the same as you right now!

Reply 5

nintendolad

2

Anonymous

Recently I've just felt increasingly left out of my so-called group of friends, meetings and events keep on going out wiithout me, I just found out that one of my supposively best friends had a big party and I of course wasn't invited. I go to an alls girls school where there are discisive groups in which it it hard to not belong in or move out of and intergrate with others.

Even at my own 16th birthday I felt I was left out, I hate feeling like this and was up till recently going to move schools for 6th form, but decided to stay, missing most of the application dates, I have no idea what to do and just feel the crap, crud and at this moment very sorry for myself.

I know exactly how this feels. For years i have felt like i had good friends that i could count on, but oh no, i never get invited out to anything. I admit i have said in the past that i like being alone and that i'm uncomfortable at parties. My response is this, How can i be more outgoing if "friends" don't invite me to things? I can't believe how i believed these people were my friends? Maybe they do like me, maybe i'm just paranoid, but friends help friends out. Once i leave School and get a job, i'm hopeful that when i gain new friends, they'll actually give a monkeys about me. My friends are thoughtless b******s.

Reply 6

Studentus-anonymous

12

Anonymous

Recently I've just felt increasingly left out of my so-called group of friends, meetings and events keep on going out wiithout me, I just found out that one of my supposively best friends had a big party and I of course wasn't invited. I go to an alls girls school where there are discisive groups in which it it hard to not belong in or move out of and intergrate with others.

Even at my own 16th birthday I felt I was left out, I hate feeling like this and was up till recently going to move schools for 6th form, but decided to stay, missing most of the application dates, I have no idea what to do and just feel the crap, crud and at this moment very sorry for myself.

One thing you'll learn as you get older is that 'friends' come and go.

Try not to let it bug you, hang out with people, make new friends when possible, and don't bite the bait when people stir up social drama and start ignoring or whatever.

Once you get to uni things should get better but as someone said, unfortunately at 16 some friend-drama is to be expected.

Peace out.

Reply 7

FloppyBunny789

I know how much this can get you down, happend to me last night out of the blue :frown:

constanstly being left out

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