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Psycho boyfriend- the end.
Some of you may remember that I posted a thread about my boyfriend becoming violent two weeks ago.
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=358939&highlight=physco
Very stupidly I got back with him after four days. I'd believed that he was really sorry and wouldn't do such a thing again. I chose to ignore many of your and my friend's advice which was to get out of the relationship and end it.
Last Friday night he turned up at my door again, extremely drunk. I talked to him nicely about why he'd been drinking again etc, but he lied and said he didn't drink anything. I was beginning to get angry with this so I started to shout at him. He pushed me onto the bed for about 10 minutes and was on top of me so I couldn't breathe properly, and punched me. He then got off and sat on the bed, and said that he didn't care he'd hit me. He also said that he'd kill me and himself. I couldn't believe that it had happened so I started to cry.
After my crying had past I started to get angry and said I wouldn't be with him anymore and I couldn't stand him being in the same room so I asked him to leave. He refused to leave and said he'd leave tomorrow morning. I said that if he didn't do as I said he'd leave me no choice but to call the police.
As he was in the toilet I put a pile of clothes and shoes in front of the door to keep it open so that I could escape easily if I needed to and so that maybe my flatmates would hear the sounds and come out.
I threw his clothes at him and put his shoes in the corridor and moved away. He put them on and while he was doing this I knocked on two flatmates doors. He then came over to me and punched me over the head and arms a few times. I ran away and he went back into the room. At this point I knocked on more doors, but he just ran at me again and punched me a lot more. I screamed and ran to the kitchen and he left. I now have several bad bruises on my face and body.
The police has been informed but I decided not to take him to court because it is a very long process ( I had to go through waiting for another court case 18 months and it was agony). Instead they went to ask him whether he was guilty or not and if he admitted it then he would go to court, but if he didn't then he would be free but be cautioned not to go near me again. I'm pretty sure he denied it. I don't know if I made the right choice or not but I don't think I could have handled going through the legal system again.
Now I learned from my very big mistake and I know I should have left him the very first time he showed signs of aggression. I hope anyone else in the same situation as me doesn't go my route and end up the way I did.
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=358939&highlight=physco
Very stupidly I got back with him after four days. I'd believed that he was really sorry and wouldn't do such a thing again. I chose to ignore many of your and my friend's advice which was to get out of the relationship and end it.
Last Friday night he turned up at my door again, extremely drunk. I talked to him nicely about why he'd been drinking again etc, but he lied and said he didn't drink anything. I was beginning to get angry with this so I started to shout at him. He pushed me onto the bed for about 10 minutes and was on top of me so I couldn't breathe properly, and punched me. He then got off and sat on the bed, and said that he didn't care he'd hit me. He also said that he'd kill me and himself. I couldn't believe that it had happened so I started to cry.
After my crying had past I started to get angry and said I wouldn't be with him anymore and I couldn't stand him being in the same room so I asked him to leave. He refused to leave and said he'd leave tomorrow morning. I said that if he didn't do as I said he'd leave me no choice but to call the police.
As he was in the toilet I put a pile of clothes and shoes in front of the door to keep it open so that I could escape easily if I needed to and so that maybe my flatmates would hear the sounds and come out.
I threw his clothes at him and put his shoes in the corridor and moved away. He put them on and while he was doing this I knocked on two flatmates doors. He then came over to me and punched me over the head and arms a few times. I ran away and he went back into the room. At this point I knocked on more doors, but he just ran at me again and punched me a lot more. I screamed and ran to the kitchen and he left. I now have several bad bruises on my face and body.
The police has been informed but I decided not to take him to court because it is a very long process ( I had to go through waiting for another court case 18 months and it was agony). Instead they went to ask him whether he was guilty or not and if he admitted it then he would go to court, but if he didn't then he would be free but be cautioned not to go near me again. I'm pretty sure he denied it. I don't know if I made the right choice or not but I don't think I could have handled going through the legal system again.
Now I learned from my very big mistake and I know I should have left him the very first time he showed signs of aggression. I hope anyone else in the same situation as me doesn't go my route and end up the way I did.
No idea, they all just came out as soon as I finished the phone call to the security. Must have been listening and too scared to come out. 
Agony Aunt
No idea, they all just came out as soon as I finished the phone call to the security. Must have been listening and too scared to come out.
Are they all girls or something?
If that was my flat you could've put money that pretty much everyone would've been out there in a shot.
How badly are you hurt?
It doesn`t matter if they're girls, its more likely because we're bred to be jellyfish. We're easier to manage that way. Thats why you can get mugged in front of 60 people and they'll just stand and watch like gormless farmyard animals.... its pathetic.
As for this guy, He needs a serious beating. Don`t you have any male friends? This guy should already be MIA.
Did he not get that batmobile he wanted one christmas or what?
As for this guy, He needs a serious beating. Don`t you have any male friends? This guy should already be MIA.
Did he not get that batmobile he wanted one christmas or what?
Oh dear, that sounds horrific... Can't imagine my bf ever doing that to me, thank God. Good you got out of the relationship and informed the police. Perhaps issue a restraining order if you don't wanna go through huge court case? (no idea if issuing restraining order would take just as long btw)
Hmmmm makes me glad I'm living with my bf and another guy and makes me worried that I'm living in an all girls house next year...
Hmmmm makes me glad I'm living with my bf and another guy and makes me worried that I'm living in an all girls house next year...
Wow that's awful . I was one of the people who advised you to get out when you posted before, I've never been in a violent relationship myself but my instinct from what you said was that he was dangerous, but I'm still shocked at the extent of what he did. Seriously, well done for ending it and informing the police, you've most definitely done the right thing and I really hope it works out for you. I also think you should message the people in your previous thread who were trying to find every way under the sun of justifying that first display of violence he showed, but obviously that's totally your call. It's just, if everyone listened to them, then there could be some really horrible consequences for someone one day. Good luck anyway, hope it all works out now for you.
. I was one of the people who advised you to get out when you posted before, I've never been in a violent relationship myself but my instinct from what you said was that he was dangerous, but I'm still shocked at the extent of what he did. Seriously, well done for ending it and informing the police, you've most definitely done the right thing and I really hope it works out for you. I also think you should message the people in your previous thread who were trying to find every way under the sun of justifying that first display of violence he showed, but obviously that's totally your call. It's just, if everyone listened to them, then there could be some really horrible consequences for someone one day. Good luck anyway, hope it all works out now for you.
God thats awful, I hope he gets whats coming to him.
I don't know, but just a thought, could an asbo be applied in these circumstances? If the op doesn't want to go through the courts could there be one specifying that he can't go near her, or are restraining orders just as easy to get?
I pretty much think that guys who are can do this once dont really change, That previous thread was pretty ridiculous with people trying to justify this, there isn't any justification.
Hope things all work out op
I don't know, but just a thought, could an asbo be applied in these circumstances? If the op doesn't want to go through the courts could there be one specifying that he can't go near her, or are restraining orders just as easy to get?
I pretty much think that guys who are can do this once dont really change, That previous thread was pretty ridiculous with people trying to justify this, there isn't any justification.
Hope things all work out op
Just make sure it is the end this time and never go back to him, like you did last time.
Oh I remember you! Aw hun 
I guess now you could at least write a pretty good book :-/
I guess now you could at least write a pretty good book :-/
wow thats terrible. you know the first thing you should have done is to investigate the mood before approaching a drunk. its one of the things i learned about handling people at sainsbury...but pretty helpful! make sure that he doesnt have any sharp objects. you said he had previous history of abuse, so you should pretty much know what to expect out of someone in that state. i can see that you love him, thats why you made up with him. it can happen to anyone. alot of women get abused from their loved ones. they're all over the newspapers. but you know what? you're now stronger. if you think about it, when he pleaded for you, you accepted his appology, which proves you have a heart far more special than anyone. and when you went to the police, you let him go, which proves that you've evolved. you're stronger now. i would imagine him feeling very small after what he did.
don't have any regrets. dont ever look back. its only a harsh way to bring back the tears. i can imagine you must have been very distressed, and probably still do...just keep in mind that all your friends and family are there to support you. don't worry about bruises either! they look cool! and besides, you can claim insurance for whoever installed those sound-proof doors your mates have that they didnt hear you! i hope you'll feel better soon.
don't have any regrets. dont ever look back. its only a harsh way to bring back the tears. i can imagine you must have been very distressed, and probably still do...just keep in mind that all your friends and family are there to support you. don't worry about bruises either! they look cool! and besides, you can claim insurance for whoever installed those sound-proof doors your mates have that they didnt hear you! i hope you'll feel better soon.
That's what you get for taking him back so many times. Didn't he cheat on you as well?
One of my ex boyfriends beat me up really badly and I went to the police. They went round to his house and arrested him, even though I said I didn't want to press charges, they told me that because I had made a statement about domestic violence they still prosecute him. He was taken to court and given a fine and community service. Haven't the police given you a domestic violence co-ordinator to talk to?
bunthulhu
Your flatmates sound infuriatingly useless. I can't believe they didn't come out OR phone security OR phone the police. 
Yeah, that makes me a little sad for the human race...
It's shocking how many people just walk away from situations like this or stand by and let it happen.
Bubblebee
Yeah, that makes me a little sad for the human race...
It's shocking how many people just walk away from situations like this or stand by and let it happen.
It's shocking how many people just walk away from situations like this or stand by and let it happen.
I've never been in a situation where someone's being attacked in my presence but I can't conceive doing nothing about it!
bunthulhu
I've never been in a situation where someone's being attacked in my presence but I can't conceive doing nothing about it!
No, I was attacked by a bloke when I was 14...he broke my nose and then as I was trying to get a taxi to escape his girlfriend who was in her 20s and a bunch of other women came over and started attacking me...set fire to my hair, one of them cut my face with something (I have a scar along the bottom of my eye) and then it was actually a nice old indian man from a chip shop who drove up pulled me into the car and took me to hospital.
Ever since then I haven't been able to stand by and watch anything like that, normally it doesn't do me any good either but I'd rather help and be useless than stand by and feel guilty.
Thanks everyone for being so nice. I just hope that it doesn't happen to me or anyone else again, I still can't get the images out of my mind.
My flatmates were probably scared, because they run out and know how to tell me to keep the noise down when me and my mates even snigger in the corridor. All of them are girls except one, and one of the guys came out after everything had happened plus 3 girls out of a total of 9 people in the corridor. =(
My flatmates were probably scared, because they run out and know how to tell me to keep the noise down when me and my mates even snigger in the corridor. All of them are girls except one, and one of the guys came out after everything had happened plus 3 girls out of a total of 9 people in the corridor. =(
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