How do i stop being so clingy?

I never thought of myslef as hugely clingy. I know i am a bit and between my ex and my current boyfriend i have improved massively, i've been working on spending more time with my friends and doing things outside the relationship but my boyfriend told me that it's not enough and i am still too clingy. I've been away for two weeks and he told me this just as i got back. I was a bit surprised cos i totally wasn't expecting it. He understands that my clingyness might have something to do with my inferiority complex and not knowing my own worth and being constantly worried that he might leave me, but he told me that he doesn't intend on going anywhere but if i dont stop being so clingy, he might. I really don't want to lose him, but i don't know how to stop being so clingy. Can anyone help me?

Reply 1

h82think

14

I am also a clingy gf, but my bf likes it so it is not that much of a problem. However, I do sometimes worry that if he suddenly dies I'll want to throw myself off a cliff.

Reply 2

L0RA

9

You need to sort it out between the two of you i think, it sounds as though you're doing the right thing by organising things with your friends.

Does he mean clingy in the sense that you want to know where he is all the time or in the sense that you want to be with him all the time?

I have an awful habit of texting bfs just if i'm bored and want to know what they're doing, i'm not doing it in a stalker way but i know it can seem like that!

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Quote: Perhaps you need to ask your boyfriend the specifics of how he would like your relationship to change.

i agree with this guy completely. it may even be him that has the problem i mean if he only wants to see you once a month or something then maybe you should him wer to shove it.

Otherwise maybe you need to sort out those unlieing issues you think cuase you clingyness like worrying so much about loosing him. after all if you wernt clingy you wouldnt be this worried by now. its like a visous cycle! ide start by deleting this thread and forcing your self not to care so much. im like that actually i work myself up over everything. we just need to learn to chillax i guess.

Reply 4

Misogynist

18

Anonymous

Quote: Perhaps you need to ask your boyfriend the specifics of how he would like your relationship to change.

i agree with this guy completely. it may even be him that has the problem i mean if he only wants to see you once a month or something then maybe you should him wer to shove it.

Otherwise maybe you need to sort out those unlieing issues you think cuase you clingyness like worrying so much about loosing him. after all if you wernt clingy you wouldnt be this worried by now. its like a visous cycle! ide start by deleting this thread and forcing your self not to care so much. im like that actually i work myself up over everything. we just need to learn to chillax i guess.

Relationships aren't mathematical. Clingy doesn't only mean that you're keeping in touch with him way too often, but it's how you act when you're around him (which I think is what he's talking about.) If you're acting insecure and worried plus playing an attention seeker and always wanting to be the center of his world, you're clingy. I wouldn't recommend asking him and laying out rules for when you can meet and when you can't. Relationships are all about the spur of the moment things that happen, they aren't meant to be put under curfew in any shape or form.

How do i stop being so clingy?

Related discussions

Articles for you