The Student Room Group

Being Stalked

I don't know if stalked is too strong of a word but I'm getting concerned. Basically, it involves a boy I was friends with just over 2 years ago before I got with my long term boyfriend. We nearly went out with each other but never did anything physical & the furthest we got too were a few dodgy texts. Anyway, it died down after I decided I didn't want a relationship with him & two months later I met my long term boyfriend. A year & a half later he messages me on MSN asking if I'm single & after I said no, he didn't speak to me. Fair enough- I really had no desire for being friends with him. About a month later, a friend had her 19th birthday & I said I would come. Turned out I couldn't make it but forgot to let her know. That night I logged onto MSN late & the guy messaged me saying he had heard off a mutual friend (another girl who had gone to this night out) that I was going (she knew I had a bf) & so he had gone out of his way to go out with a load of people he barely knew on the off chance that I would be there. He said he was really dissapointed I wasn't there & wanted to see me, saying how he really liked me. I found this pretty wierd- we hadn't seen each other in nearly 2 years. He asked me to split up from my bf as "we would be great together". Anyway, up till the other day he would message me every now & again asking if I still had a bf & he thought I was fit & I'd just ignore him after he asked me that. The other day, he sent a webcam invitation to me & I stupidly accepted & he was *ahum* doing something very rude! I cancelled it straight away, blocked him & called him sick. Now I'm worried that he's got some problem.... What should I do? I've told my bf all about it & hes cool saying he thinks hes very sick. Help! Why isn't he getting the message?
Go open the dictionary and look up what stalking means.
Reply 2
He just sounds like a loon. Keep ignoring him, and tell your friends to keep quiet about you from now on.
He's not even a loon, he's not crazy, or weird. He just likes you and wanted to see you. He's trying to get in touch with you so he can spend time with you. I don't see the crime he's committing here. The least you can do is let him know you have no intentions of getting into a relationship with him.
Reply 4
Why
He's not even a loon, he's not crazy, or weird. He just likes you and wanted to see you. He's trying to get in touch with you so he can spend time with you. I don't see the crime he's committing here. The least you can do is let him know you have no intentions of getting into a relationship with him.


He IS a loon if he's constantly asking if she's still with her boyfriend, repeatedly telling her he fancies her, telling her to break up with her long term boyfriend for him, finding out where she's going and turning up even though he doesn't know anyone just to further harrass her, and exposing himself on webcam - all when she's CLEARLY not interested and it's been 2 years since they saw each other.

God, if you think that's normal behaviour when you like someone, you've got a lot of restraining orders coming your way.
He's not getting the message because you aren't being clear enough. Be harsh if it comes down to that, but be clear.
bunthulhu
He IS a loon if he's constantly asking if she's still with her boyfriend, repeatedly telling her he fancies her, telling her to break up with her long term boyfriend for him, finding out where she's going and turning up even though he doesn't know anyone just to further harrass her, and exposing himself on webcam - all when she's CLEARLY not interested.

God, if you think that's normal behaviour when you like someone, you've got a lot of restraining orders coming your way.


Oh sorry, I didn't read the webcam bit. I left the last few lines out. Yeah, he's weird :p:
Reply 7
Why
Oh sorry, I didn't read the webcam bit. I left the last few lines out. Yeah, he's weird :p:


Precisely :biggrin:
Reply 8
I've had a few guys get like this over me :redface: but more often that not its been long distance so there hasnt been much chance of them meeting up with my friends hoping i'll be there.

You just have to make it clear to this guy that you're in a happy relationship, see him as a friend and they'll never be anything more than that between you. Hes more than likely spent alot of time fantasising over you and him so it might take him a while to get it into his head that you and him will never be together.
Reply 9
I'll agree with Why. He isn't weird, he's just got no game, doesn't know any other girls, was caught up in the moment and thought the webcam thing would help. Just be brutally honest with him, as Why said.
Reply 10
he dont sound like a stalker !!
Get him to do it again, Prt Sc, and post it on your myspace :wink:
You should be happy he likes you so much he's more or less obsessed with you..
I think there's a bit of a difference between liking and obsession.
It's my life
I think there's a bit of a difference between liking and obsession.


You think.. Liking is what leads to obsession. Obsession is a rather strong word, in this case it's simply liking her to an extent where he can't stop thinking about her. I'm sure you've been there.
Anonymous
In the same way that Ted Bundy's victims should have been grateful for the attention...


I didn't see you talking about him being outside your window with a bloody knife..
Why
You think.. Liking is what leads to obsession. Obsession is a rather strong word, in this case it's simply liking her to an extent where he can't stop thinking about her. I'm sure you've been there.



Yes but she has already told him that she doesn't want him, he needs to accept that and move on I am afraid, not all obsession is good or healthy.
It's my life
Yes but she has already told him that she doesn't want him, he needs to accept that and move on I am afraid, not all obsession is good or healthy.


She hasn't. She didn't tell him 'I'm not interested in you, leave me alone' directly. She's just sitting there hoping he 'gets the message.'
Anonymous
I don't know if stalked is too strong of a word but I'm getting concerned. Basically, it involves a boy I was friends with just over 2 years ago before I got with my long term boyfriend. We nearly went out with each other but never did anything physical & the furthest we got too were a few dodgy texts. Anyway, it died down after I decided I didn't want a relationship with him & two months later I met my long term boyfriend. A year & a half later he messages me on MSN asking if I'm single & after I said no, he didn't speak to me. Fair enough- I really had no desire for being friends with him. About a month later, a friend had her 19th birthday & I said I would come. Turned out I couldn't make it but forgot to let her know. That night I logged onto MSN late & the guy messaged me saying he had heard off a mutual friend (another girl who had gone to this night out) that I was going (she knew I had a bf) & so he had gone out of his way to go out with a load of people he barely knew on the off chance that I would be there. He said he was really dissapointed I wasn't there & wanted to see me, saying how he really liked me. I found this pretty wierd- we hadn't seen each other in nearly 2 years. He asked me to split up from my bf as "we would be great together". Anyway, up till the other day he would message me every now & again asking if I still had a bf & he thought I was fit & I'd just ignore him after he asked me that. The other day, he sent a webcam invitation to me & I stupidly accepted & he was *ahum* doing something very rude! I cancelled it straight away, blocked him & called him sick. Now I'm worried that he's got some problem.... What should I do? I've told my bf all about it & hes cool saying he thinks hes very sick. Help! Why isn't he getting the message?

hard to say lol
Reply 19
deploythecowcatcher
hard to say lol

You dug up a three year old thread to say that?