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People just don't like me...
Hi, maybe this isn't such a big problem as I'm finishing school for good quite soon, but here goes...
Basically, ever since year 8 (im in year 13) this girl has hated me, bitched about me etc etc - and my best friend and other ppl say it's because I have particular ability (they say) in a subject, namely music - which she also takes even now. She basically looks at every move i make in lessons and in the common room - then comments on it... hence the fact that i've become so withdrawn over the years, which sucks really
My best friend's other best friend has hated me for about a year and neither me nor my friend can pin point why... she gives me nasty looks and makes comments under the breath - and is much more obvious about it
now i find today that a girl in my classics class - renowned for being amazing at it, got into oxford to do it etc - resents me because i make quite a few points in class which the teacher seems to like, and also the fact that i'm writing an article for a classics magazine as suggested by my teacher combined with particularly good marks i seem to be getting recently - and she's rolling her eyes after i make a point, and tells all her friends that i'm sucking up to the teacher > and she is known for getting on with this teacher quite well...
I don't even know what I've done to deserve this - and i'm not trying to be self-pitying - but i feel like i in someway attract hate or something i don't know... and it's really getting me down - i just don't know what to do, it's just annoying because i feel that i'm a decent and honest enough person, but all these people do is bitch about other people etc... and i just don't fit in...
Basically, ever since year 8 (im in year 13) this girl has hated me, bitched about me etc etc - and my best friend and other ppl say it's because I have particular ability (they say) in a subject, namely music - which she also takes even now. She basically looks at every move i make in lessons and in the common room - then comments on it... hence the fact that i've become so withdrawn over the years, which sucks really
My best friend's other best friend has hated me for about a year and neither me nor my friend can pin point why... she gives me nasty looks and makes comments under the breath - and is much more obvious about it
now i find today that a girl in my classics class - renowned for being amazing at it, got into oxford to do it etc - resents me because i make quite a few points in class which the teacher seems to like, and also the fact that i'm writing an article for a classics magazine as suggested by my teacher combined with particularly good marks i seem to be getting recently - and she's rolling her eyes after i make a point, and tells all her friends that i'm sucking up to the teacher > and she is known for getting on with this teacher quite well...
I don't even know what I've done to deserve this - and i'm not trying to be self-pitying - but i feel like i in someway attract hate or something i don't know... and it's really getting me down - i just don't know what to do, it's just annoying because i feel that i'm a decent and honest enough person, but all these people do is bitch about other people etc... and i just don't fit in...
Reply 1
dont bother with them, try to ignore them they all sound like bitches and also sound very jealous!
Reply 2
This is simple.
Basically, they're jealous, and resent the fact that you're good at these particular subjects.
The girl who does music is annoyed that you're good at it too, because she's been doing it for ages and you probably always outshine her.
The girl who does classics is annoyed because she's going to base her career on this subject and she's going to oxford to study it and so on, so she probably thinks she should be the undisputed best in the class and you threaten that position. She may even be worried that if she can't keep well ahead of her class mates here, how is she going to cope at oxford with so many people cleverer than her? And you getting some attention from the teacher when she's supposed to be the best may be making her feel disgruntled and like she's not being appreciated.
As for the friend of your best friend, she's acting the way she is because she's jealous of you and worries her best friend may like you more than her. She probably subconsciously thinks that if she puts you down to your friend then she'll agree and not like you as much (which won't happen).
All this is a sign of these people's insecurities and not your fault in the slightest. I know this for a fact because I have been like these people before (or at least felt like them if I wasn't horrible to the person's face). I have been insecure about my best friend liking someone else, I have been that girl worried if she's clever enough for oxford and I have been that girl wishing other people didn't take the limelight so that I could get a bit of appreciation for working so hard. It was my problem, not theirs, and I grew out of it (I hope!)
So what I'm saying is, you're brilliant, they're jealous and trying to make themselves feel better, don't let it get to you. Take it as a compliment in a way, and hope they get over it or they shut up.
Basically, they're jealous, and resent the fact that you're good at these particular subjects.
The girl who does music is annoyed that you're good at it too, because she's been doing it for ages and you probably always outshine her.
The girl who does classics is annoyed because she's going to base her career on this subject and she's going to oxford to study it and so on, so she probably thinks she should be the undisputed best in the class and you threaten that position. She may even be worried that if she can't keep well ahead of her class mates here, how is she going to cope at oxford with so many people cleverer than her? And you getting some attention from the teacher when she's supposed to be the best may be making her feel disgruntled and like she's not being appreciated.
As for the friend of your best friend, she's acting the way she is because she's jealous of you and worries her best friend may like you more than her. She probably subconsciously thinks that if she puts you down to your friend then she'll agree and not like you as much (which won't happen).
All this is a sign of these people's insecurities and not your fault in the slightest. I know this for a fact because I have been like these people before (or at least felt like them if I wasn't horrible to the person's face). I have been insecure about my best friend liking someone else, I have been that girl worried if she's clever enough for oxford and I have been that girl wishing other people didn't take the limelight so that I could get a bit of appreciation for working so hard. It was my problem, not theirs, and I grew out of it (I hope!)
So what I'm saying is, you're brilliant, they're jealous and trying to make themselves feel better, don't let it get to you. Take it as a compliment in a way, and hope they get over it or they shut up.
Reply 3
I know it may seem like quite a few people from different circles dislike you, but it's not you, you've just unluckily come across a high-proportion of them.
Reply 4
12
Listen (or well read) people will always try to pull you down, from the way you put it people are jealous!
Don't let the fact, you're good at music or better than some girl that got into oxford at classics, put you down. if you're good at something don't let others pull you down because of this you've been blessed with talent!
And as for the girl that hates you? Well...ignore her is the best advice and if it comes to a point were she's really annoying ask straight out what is her problem. Point out that you're not going anywhere for the next few months and that don't worry you can't stabnd her too or that she's pretty stupid going out of her way just to pull you down when she can be doing something better.
Liek you said a few months left! you can make it!
Don't let the fact, you're good at music or better than some girl that got into oxford at classics, put you down. if you're good at something don't let others pull you down because of this
you've been blessed with talent!And as for the girl that hates you? Well...ignore her is the best advice and if it comes to a point were she's really annoying ask straight out what is her problem. Point out that you're not going anywhere for the next few months and that don't worry you can't stabnd her too or that she's pretty stupid going out of her way just to pull you down when she can be doing something better.
Liek you said a few months left! you can make it!
Reply 5
They're just jealous of you!
Don't worry, once the end of the academic years comes, you don't have to see these people again if you don't want to
Don't worry, once the end of the academic years comes, you don't have to see these people again if you don't want to
Reply 6
Are you sure there's nothing more to it than this? I'm just wondering, because I've found it to be really rare for people to dislike others just because they're good at something. You can be talented at something and still have people like you.
This will probably sound harsh, but I think it's the most likely answer, based on the fact that you're writing an article for a classics magazine etc. I think the more likely scenario is that you come across as a bit of a nerd, and people are picking on you for it. People tend to see nerdy people as weak, and act nastily toward them, largely because of their own insecurities. The fact that you're insecure etc just makes it easier for them to do it to you.
This will probably sound harsh, but I think it's the most likely answer, based on the fact that you're writing an article for a classics magazine etc. I think the more likely scenario is that you come across as a bit of a nerd, and people are picking on you for it. People tend to see nerdy people as weak, and act nastily toward them, largely because of their own insecurities. The fact that you're insecure etc just makes it easier for them to do it to you.
Reply 7
The thing is, I'm really not that nerdy - I'm not particularly known for getting straight As, and indeed I don't get straight As - I work really hard for my grades, and I'm really not that naturally clever etc
I think part of it is that because of the first girl i mentioned - I started to become withdrawn and quiet just because I didn't want her to pick up on anything I was doing that she might criticise, and everybody including teachers have noticed that I've been particularly quiet - but recently I've started to come out a bit more, and speak more in class in classics and music particularly > but i don't know what this means...
i do believe i'm a genuinely nice person - I haven't done anything at all to deliberately affect these people in anyway, and I just don't get it...
I think part of it is that because of the first girl i mentioned - I started to become withdrawn and quiet just because I didn't want her to pick up on anything I was doing that she might criticise, and everybody including teachers have noticed that I've been particularly quiet - but recently I've started to come out a bit more, and speak more in class in classics and music particularly > but i don't know what this means...
i do believe i'm a genuinely nice person - I haven't done anything at all to deliberately affect these people in anyway, and I just don't get it...
Reply 8
Bleurgh, that smacks of 'all-girls school' to me ;yucky;
They're just jealous, immature and bitchy. There's nothing wrong with you I'm sure so try not to let it get to you. You're in Year 13, so almost there!!
They're just jealous, immature and bitchy. There's nothing wrong with you I'm sure so try not to let it get to you. You're in Year 13, so almost there!!
Reply 9
16
aww don't worry 
You're not in the wrong at all. People just try to alleviate their own insecurities by making others feel worse. You're almost there anyway. And you don't have to see them again if you don't want to. Big fish, small pond you know
You're not in the wrong at all. People just try to alleviate their own insecurities by making others feel worse. You're almost there anyway. And you don't have to see them again if you don't want to. Big fish, small pond you know Reply 10
Anonymous
Hi, maybe this isn't such a big problem as I'm finishing school for good quite soon, but here goes...
Basically, ever since year 8 (im in year 13) this girl has hated me, bitched about me etc etc - and my best friend and other ppl say it's because I have particular ability (they say) in a subject, namely music - which she also takes even now. She basically looks at every move i make in lessons and in the common room - then comments on it... hence the fact that i've become so withdrawn over the years, which sucks really
My best friend's other best friend has hated me for about a year and neither me nor my friend can pin point why... she gives me nasty looks and makes comments under the breath - and is much more obvious about it
now i find today that a girl in my classics class - renowned for being amazing at it, got into oxford to do it etc - resents me because i make quite a few points in class which the teacher seems to like, and also the fact that i'm writing an article for a classics magazine as suggested by my teacher combined with particularly good marks i seem to be getting recently - and she's rolling her eyes after i make a point, and tells all her friends that i'm sucking up to the teacher > and she is known for getting on with this teacher quite well...
I don't even know what I've done to deserve this - and i'm not trying to be self-pitying - but i feel like i in someway attract hate or something i don't know... and it's really getting me down - i just don't know what to do, it's just annoying because i feel that i'm a decent and honest enough person, but all these people do is bitch about other people etc... and i just don't fit in...
Basically, ever since year 8 (im in year 13) this girl has hated me, bitched about me etc etc - and my best friend and other ppl say it's because I have particular ability (they say) in a subject, namely music - which she also takes even now. She basically looks at every move i make in lessons and in the common room - then comments on it... hence the fact that i've become so withdrawn over the years, which sucks really
My best friend's other best friend has hated me for about a year and neither me nor my friend can pin point why... she gives me nasty looks and makes comments under the breath - and is much more obvious about it
now i find today that a girl in my classics class - renowned for being amazing at it, got into oxford to do it etc - resents me because i make quite a few points in class which the teacher seems to like, and also the fact that i'm writing an article for a classics magazine as suggested by my teacher combined with particularly good marks i seem to be getting recently - and she's rolling her eyes after i make a point, and tells all her friends that i'm sucking up to the teacher > and she is known for getting on with this teacher quite well...
I don't even know what I've done to deserve this - and i'm not trying to be self-pitying - but i feel like i in someway attract hate or something i don't know... and it's really getting me down - i just don't know what to do, it's just annoying because i feel that i'm a decent and honest enough person, but all these people do is bitch about other people etc... and i just don't fit in...
Pure and simple Jealousy.
My family have money and plenty people hate us for no good reason, it's obvious why. Just take it as a compliment in your case.
Reply 11
yeah, was gonna say typical all-girl school stuff.
Reply 12
Do a martial art. No one will ***** with you then.
Not because you'll look violent, but because you'll have shed loads of confidence in yourself and your body- it's character building!
If I were you I'd call on these people in class- that's what I did in my *cough* media studies *cough* class, where I was easily one of the cleverest people in the class. The teacher and a couple of the brainier kids were discussing a point and some little b*tch was giggling and whispering about me so I basically asked her to either make her point in earshot or shut the **** up.
Bullies and bitches rely on your compliance to pick on you. Once they see that you wont lie down and take it you'll be ok.
Good luck
Not because you'll look violent, but because you'll have shed loads of confidence in yourself and your body- it's character building!
If I were you I'd call on these people in class- that's what I did in my *cough* media studies *cough* class, where I was easily one of the cleverest people in the class. The teacher and a couple of the brainier kids were discussing a point and some little b*tch was giggling and whispering about me so I basically asked her to either make her point in earshot or shut the **** up.
Bullies and bitches rely on your compliance to pick on you. Once they see that you wont lie down and take it you'll be ok.
Good luck
Reply 13
your school sounds pretty crazy. just live with it, you get idiots and you dont get idiots, not being an idiot is being able to tolerate and ignore the idiot. this si confusing right? tell them to stick it and if they bother you, if you really hate them just imagine in your free time beating them up. it gives me the kicks i need without actually doing it in real life.
Reply 14
As other people have said, they are just jealous of the fact you have talent. You're in year 13, so there isn't long left to put up with their resentment before you go to uni (or whatever you are doing after school) and then get properly appreciated by people you meet there. I know it sounds hard, but just try to be the bigger person!
Reply 15
I know how it feels to be bullied. I was in pretty much the same situation (though it was because I had been ill and missed 2 weeks at the start of term) when I was in year 6. I felt unloved and that nobody really cared how I felt as I was alienated and isolated from the community. As it was a 4-16 school, I had no plans to leave at the end of year 6 (though eventually my parents decided it would be better if I did) so you are lucky that you are in year 13 and don't have that much time left there. I know it is going to be difficult (it was even 9 years before I experienced a worse emotion) but the advice I was always given is to ignore the bullies and try to make friends with other people.
Reply 16
this is jealousy at work. Do not get affected by it.
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