Girl issues Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
Not sure how long this may be but here it goes. Theres this girl in my uni flat, we get along well but she had a boyfriend. One night a few weeks back we made out. Since then we have made out a few times and have been flirting quite a bit for a few weeks now. Her boyfriend treats her like **** though and shes only just decided to let go of him. But literally as shes done this, shes parred me off for some other guy at the uni whos making quite a bit of money running a business. I feel like ive been used for attention or lead on until she found someone better i guess. Im so unsure on the situation since ive overheard her talking about this new guy over the last few days and how much money hes making.

I feel guilty for doing what ive done since she was still in a relationship but she was being treated like ****. I care about her a lot but i just feel like a backup option. She tries to make it seem normal between us and that i should be okay with it but i have caught feelings for her (terrible i know). Its awkward since i cant exactly forget about her either as shes in my flat for the next year. Advice?
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
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Just want to add that the last 2 days ive kind of seperated myself from her to see her reaction, i never had my door knocked or recieved any texts/calls. Im currently home and decided to text her earlier that once im back at the flat i would like to speak to her. Shes literally replied 'Okay'. Nothing else, im just so confused about her intentions.
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Treeroy
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#3
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#3
So you knowingly got with a girl who is in a relationship, and now that she's cheating with other people - only now you feel used? And you want sympathy from people here?

I'm glad you are feeling sad for yourself about your "feelings" for this woman.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Treeroy)
So you knowingly got with a girl who is in a relationship, and now that she's cheating with other people - only now you feel used? And you want sympathy from people here?

I'm glad you are feeling sad for yourself about your "feelings" for this woman.
I understand your view on this and i do feel guilty about it, however in the same sense her boyfriend treated her really badly and ive seen it. Im not asking for sympathy, im just in need of some advice, this girl is very confusing to read and im unsure of what she wants. I dont know what to do since shes in my flat and will be for the next year. I dont want things to be awkward.
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Treeroy
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#5
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well you gotta accept that she was cheating with multiple guys within a matter of weeks; she moved on from you in an instant. no offense but she probably isn't the one mate.

shag someone else and maybe your feelings for her will dissipate.
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sorry13
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#6
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Look, you shouldn't be giving f*cks about how much proof you saw of her previous ex-boyfriend treating her like crap, you were still the OTHER GUY. And in situations like that where you know she's already taken, you shouldn't be attempting to pursue her, but instead become her confidante or help her to make her feel good about herself.

But then it gets ugly from there on doesn't it? Because now, your dolly belle is free to look at other people.
Do you ever think that if somebody cheats on a partner (no matter how bad the situation is), they've got the gumption to do it over and over again to other people?
You can't have a go at her for pieing you off like this mate, you stepped into her world knowing she already had a boyfriend, now that relationship's over and she's got you where she wants you, she's free to pursue other people.
This other guy who has money, I mean, if you're sure she's going out with him and literally talking about how much money he has all the time and bragging about his success, why the hell are you still mooning over her? Sounds like a bit of a gold-digger no? She led you on, made you feel special until the time came and somebody she deemed "better" than you came up.
If she was that interested, she would be texting back and making time for you. She's not.

And you pursuing her still is gonna make her self-esteem go through the roof, you'll make her feel even better. Don't give a girl the satisfaction, but dude, don't chase women that are already in relationships.
Feelings like this can be suppressed, got over, so just busy yourself. You're at uni, there's a house party like every night, you know this, go to them. Just go out. The fact she cheated on her ex should be big warning bells for ya, you have to wonder whether she regrets it or feels even slightly guilty, because she sure as hell doesn't feel guilty about leaving you hanging around for her.

You're right, you're her Plan B, and her blanky, but not everybody takes their blanky with them everywhere. She ain't that dedicated.
Learn to invest time in the right people.
Spend time with those right people.
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
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(Original post by sorry13)
Look, you shouldn't be giving f*cks about how much proof you saw of her previous ex-boyfriend treating her like crap, you were still the OTHER GUY. And in situations like that where you know she's already taken, you shouldn't be attempting to pursue her, but instead become her confidante or help her to make her feel good about herself.

But then it gets ugly from there on doesn't it? Because now, your dolly belle is free to look at other people.
Do you ever think that if somebody cheats on a partner (no matter how bad the situation is), they've got the gumption to do it over and over again to other people?
You can't have a go at her for pieing you off like this mate, you stepped into her world knowing she already had a boyfriend, now that relationship's over and she's got you where she wants you, she's free to pursue other people.
This other guy who has money, I mean, if you're sure she's going out with him and literally talking about how much money he has all the time and bragging about his success, why the hell are you still mooning over her? Sounds like a bit of a gold-digger no? She led you on, made you feel special until the time came and somebody she deemed "better" than you came up.
If she was that interested, she would be texting back and making time for you. She's not.

And you pursuing her still is gonna make her self-esteem go through the roof, you'll make her feel even better. Don't give a girl the satisfaction, but dude, don't chase women that are already in relationships.
Feelings like this can be suppressed, got over, so just busy yourself. You're at uni, there's a house party like every night, you know this, go to them. Just go out. The fact she cheated on her ex should be big warning bells for ya, you have to wonder whether she regrets it or feels even slightly guilty, because she sure as hell doesn't feel guilty about leaving you hanging around for her.

You're right, you're her Plan B, and her blanky, but not everybody takes their blanky with them everywhere. She ain't that dedicated.
Learn to invest time in the right people.
Spend time with those right people.
This is exactly what i needed! Thankyou for the lengthy reply. I will take your advice on board definitely. I know what i did was wrong in the first place and i regret it now. I guess here on out i best sort myself out and go find someone who actually cares about me. I knew id end up catching feelings for her and now its become all too real and i feel terrible. Thankyou once again!
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Proxenus
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#8
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do some bicep curls and smile on the last rep
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rachiriot
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#9
Report 3 years ago
#9
She doesn't seem worth of your time, she's cheated on her boyfriend, and quickly going from one guy to another. Doesn't really seem a great person to be in a relationship with.
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