bulimia

I just feel like I have to tell somebody, even if its just through a forum. About 3 months ago I started making myself sick after eating a lot, as I desperately want to lose weight.

I don't weigh myself, but at this point I was edging being on a size 16, and I'd say I was healthily worried about gaining weight. I joined the gym, and lost a little bit but it wasn't what I wanted, so I started making myself sick.

At first it was perhaps once every few days, but I found it horribly unpleasant and silly, so didn't do it often. However, without noticing I've been doing it more and more. Now its after almost every meal.

I know what I'm doing. I know ALL of the terrible sideeffects of it and have noticed some of them. But I've lost a fair bit of weight, just not enough.

I try not to but if I eat something unhealthy all I can do is pictrue it and how fat it will make me.

I am not a naive or silly person. I am aware that I have a problem and I am aware it can't continue. I really don't want any sarcastic backlash from this as I genuinely just want some advice. I can't tell anybody in reallife, this has to be soemthing i deal with myself.

Reply 1

Schmokie Dragon

Hen

I promise you that the best thing to do is to go to the Doctor. I know it's embarrising and it is hard, because I've been there.....but it really truly is the best way of solving it once and for all. Even if you write the problem down on a piece of paper and hand it to the doctor, they can take it from there and give you good sound advice. They can probably even give you a healthy eating plan which will help you loose weight without the need to be sick. Good luck!

You don't have to tell our parents, or friends. They might be able to help, but I understand you not feeling able to tell them. However, if you want to get better, you need to tell a doctor. They won't judge you, and can't tell your family if you ask them not to (unless you are about 12). And they can help.

People can defeat this kind of thing alone, but it takes superhuman willpower.

Reply 2

puppy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stH-LRTjEC0

I know this is about anorexia rather than bulimia but they have similar consequences as they both constitute starving your body. This woman has made loads of videos, they're all really good and have great feedback from people suffering from EDs.

Reply 3

username47781

Well I read that apart from damaging your insides you don't lose weight anyway by doing that.

Reply 4

puppy

It's my life

Well I read that apart from damaging your insides you don't lose weight anyway by doing that.

You can do, but some bulimics never get very very thin. Also, it's not always strictly about losing weight. The OP has said she knows she shouldn't do it and yet is still compelled to after eating certain things. It's a mindset and coping mechanism as much as it is a desire to be thin (or 'perfect').

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Its impossible to say, 'bulimia doesn't make you thin' or 'bulimia isn't about losing weight' as every case is different. You can get purging anorexics, ie people who eat very few calories but purge them, and then lose weight. Or you can get compulsive overeaters who eat massive amounts of calories, fail to purge all of them, and end up gaining weight.

The OP sounds like she is using bulimia to control her weight, but there may be underlying issues as to why she turned to bulimia in order to do so. A surprisingly large amount of people make themselves sick at one point or other in their lives, in times of great stress, desperation or low self-esteem. But if it carries on, it is a huge risk to be taking.

I am bulimic. The things that worry me most about bulimia are not being found out, or the fact that it really harms your teeth and oesophagus in the long-term.. Those are minor. There are three things that really terrify me.

1) Instant death from heart attack caused by a sudden change in the amount of electrolytes in your body. If you feel shaky, depressed, dizzy, tired, weak or anything similar after purging, then that is what it is, and you should be worried.

2) Gastric rupture. The combination of eating large amounts, or just the repeated stress on your digestive system can weaken the gastric wall, causing rupture. In the worse cases, this can be your stomach literally bursting, causing a horrible death. If you have digestive pains, or your gut hurts after purging, you should be worried.

3) Death because of internal bleeding. A lot of bulimics throw up blood. In most cases, this is because you scrape the lining of your throat with whatever you're using to purge. However the lining of your throat is extremely thin and if you purge violently enough, you can do yourself a great deal of harm.

Basically, you can't deal with this all by yourself. Bulimia is addictive. Extremely addictive. And it is as much of a killer as any other disease. Like you, I am aware that I have a problem and I always said that I would 'do something about it' if it got really bad. But I feel dizzy and sick after purging, I have given myself a hernia from it and ignored it, and I throw up blood every time I do it. And I'm still not able to get better. Don't get to the same stage.

Go to your doctor. Normal GPs sometimes don't understand eating disorders fully so you must insist on seeing somebody who specialises in eating disorders, or insist on being referred to a trained therapist who can help you. INSIST ON IT. Don't get fobbed off. "I am bulimic. I have a disease. I insist on being referred to someone who is qualified to help me and I will not leave until you make that happen" should be your words if they try to make light of it.

Reply 6

~~hannah~~

You should go and see your doctor as soon as you can. Hopefully they'll refer you to a psychiatrist and nutritionist who will help you through this. Once in treatment there is a high chance that you will recover from this. Go as soon as you can, the longer you have this disorder the worse it will become.

Reply 7

Louise88

First of all, good on you for admitting that you have a problem and that you want to overcome it. Admitting there is a problem is the first step to recovery and one of the hardest things that you will do.

I'm not going to pretend that I know everything about eating disorders, I don't. I am a student nurse and I have done a lot of research into Anorexia, Bulimia and so on for various projects so I know a little :smile:

As difficult as it is to tell someone, it's something that I would advise you to do. Talking to your doctor is very important as it is possible that you have done yourself a lot of damage and it's best to get that checked out. If you know the risks then you should know that eating disorders are potentially life threatening and by making yourself sick after every meal, you are doing yourself an incredible amount of damage. Please, for the sake of your health, get that checked out.

Your doctor will also be able to offer you various kinds of support. It is possible for them to refer you to a councellor, there are all kinds of support groups, helplines and so on. They can offer much more than just health advice.

I would also advise you to speak to a close friend or family member because this isn't something you can do on your own. Bulimia is a very serious illness and is very difficult to overcome and you will need as much support as you can get to help you through this. This is something than can take you a long time to get over and it's incredibly easy to fall into your old habbits. Having someone who knows what you are going through will make things that little bit easier.

You will get over your eating disorder providing that you seek medical advice and have the support of those around you. Don't try and do this on your own, please.

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