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Guys, is it okay for a girl to admit feelings first? watch

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    I fell for my former boss whilst I was working for him. It's rare for me to meet anyone who shares the same cultural background as me given where I live, and I felt a connection with him I've only ever felt with one other guy ever and I'm 22.
    We used to work 8 hour shifts 4 days a week, sometimes almost alone, for a year, so we had plenty of time to talk and get to know each-other. He was kinda flirty, but he's like this with other girls too, and now I only see him once every other month when he arranges a meet up.
    What can I do?
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    I'm not a guy but I say go for it as you never know really! I know in the short term rejection is scary, but long-term what is even scarier is the prospect of losing what could be an amazing relationship. I recently took the risk and told a guy that I liked him and now we are going out I said it in a fairly euphemistic way: that basically I would like to get to know him better and spend time with him alone. I would still be in agony not knowing if he liked me or not had I never asked, as he thought that I wouldn't 'see him in that way' he said he would have been unlikely to make a move.

    I say take a risk, I can't guarantee the outcome but at least you won't have to go to bed every night wondering 'what if?'. Good luck!
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    (Original post by jazjaz)
    I'm not a guy but I say go for it as you never know really! I know in the short term rejection is scary, but long-term what is even scarier is the prospect of losing what could be an amazing relationship. I recently took the risk and told a guy that I liked him and now we are going out I said it in a fairly euphemistic way: that basically I would like to get to know him better and spend time with him alone. I would still be in agony not knowing if he liked me or not had I never asked, as he thought that I wouldn't 'see him in that way' he said he would have been unlikely to make a move.

    I say take a risk, I can't guarantee the outcome but at least you won't have to go to bed every night wondering 'what if?'. Good luck!
    Agreed
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    Thanks for the encouragement, but how do I word this :/
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    Yes it's okay. I don't get why more girls don't do it. Guys are supposed to be mind readers smh
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I fell for my former boss whilst I was working for him. It's rare for me to meet anyone who shares the same cultural background as me given where I live, and I felt a connection with him I've only ever felt with one other guy ever and I'm 22.
    We used to work 8 hour shifts 4 days a week, sometimes almost alone, for a year, so we had plenty of time to talk and get to know each-other. He was kinda flirty, but he's like this with other girls too, and now I only see him once every other month when he arranges a meet up.
    What can I do?
    Yes, it's okay for a female to admit feelings first. The more direct you are the better in my opinion.
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    (Original post by stochasticking)
    Yes, it's okay for a female to admit feelings first. The more direct you are the better in my opinion.
    I guess it's just difficult because as a girl I'm the one who is supposed to be chased, not the other way around...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess it's just difficult because as a girl I'm the one who is supposed to be chased, not the other way around...
    Yeah it is. But try and change that , I don't think "girls should be chased" and men do all the "chasing". Just ask him out, seriously.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess it's just difficult because as a girl I'm the one who is supposed to be chased, not the other way around...
    Well it's not exactly chasing a guy, it's just letting him know you are interested in getting to know him as more than friends/associates. It's not really asking him to be his girlfriend or anything as I am guessing you will want to test the waters and date him first before going out. There is nothing wrong with expressing interest, you are allowed to have desires, it's the 21st century and women are allowed to like men too rather than just sitting their acting all coy for the rest of their lives... It's a surefire way to spinsterhood and a waste of life really. Times are changing and as things like online dating advance less and less men are going to take risks with women in their day to day lives as they can just go online to find women. It's much easier more men to face rejection online with someone they don't know than to face rejection face to face with a woman that they will see time and time again. This is why now it's up to us.

    But really it's up to you! You say you want to be chased but my question is why play games? I don't think anyone should chase but that is just my opinion. If men have to chase is it any wonder that most times things don't work out in the early stages. Just be authentic and genuine in order to form a great connection. I'm not suggesting you chase a guy, what I'm trying to say is reciprocity is important. A few little romantic gestures from a guy and a bit of chivalry is nice, but expecting him to jump through hoops to prove himself via chasing you is a whole other thing.
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    No, it's not 'okay.' It's preferable. It's far easier. It's the only hope of preserving the human race in light of 'rape culture', 'we need to teach men not to rape', 'stop objectifying me' and HR departments.

    Do it. He'll love it.
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    i dont want to live in a sexist world so yes of course it is
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess it's just difficult because as a girl I'm the one who is supposed to be chased, not the other way around...
    STRICT TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLE ALERT! STRICT TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLE ALERT!

    Feminist response imminent. Everyone assume the brace position. Monitor both right and left flanks. DO NOT stick your head above the parapet.
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    How old is this geezer?
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    (Original post by TheCitizenAct)
    STRICT TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLE ALERT! STRICT TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLE ALERT!

    Feminist response imminent. Everyone assume the brace position. Monitor both right and left flanks. DO NOT stick your head above the parapet.
    lol idk man i feel like feminism has ruined your life. It's just not that deep.
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    (Original post by Shadez)
    lol idk man i feel like feminism has ruined your life. It's just not that deep.
    You can't prove the first point, and as for the second point it's patently incorrect - it's in our higher education system (gender quotas, grants for women, consent classes for males, white men being banned from attending groups), our charity sector (research funding for women's rights groups, jobs for the girls), our Parliament (The Equality Act, domestic violence funding JUST for women, gender quotas, pathological altruism, 'this is what a feminist looks like' t-shirts, and group rights rather than individual rights, etc.), our public broadcaster (male-only group - bad, female-only group = good, woman objectifies man = ssshh, man objectifies woman = SEXISM!!!!) and our MSM (1 in 3 women have been raped or sexually assaulted on UK campuses, 'white men should never hold elected position in British Universities again', 'gender neutral parenting', etc.).

    You can't say it's 'not deep.'
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the encouragement, but how do I word this :/
    Tell him more or less what you told us. Bring something up about your shared cultural background and then say something along the lines of 'it's so rare to meet someone from the same background around these parts, I'm intrigued! I think we should hang out more, we'd probably get along really well'. Modify it to whatever feels comfortable. Practise saying it aloud (you can just say it into your phone as you are walking around).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How old is this geezer?
    26 and I'm 22. It's in my OP
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    (Original post by jazjaz)
    Tell him more or less what you told us. Bring something up about your shared cultural background and then say something along the lines of 'it's so rare to meet someone from the same background around these parts, I'm intrigued! I think we should hang out more, we'd probably get along really well'. Modify it to whatever feels comfortable. Practise saying it aloud (you can just say it into your phone as you are walking around).
    Thanks. That's a really good idea actually. Seems better than the generic "I like you a lot" line.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I fell for my former boss whilst I was working for him. It's rare for me to meet anyone who shares the same cultural background as me given where I live, and I felt a connection with him I've only ever felt with one other guy ever and I'm 22.
    We used to work 8 hour shifts 4 days a week, sometimes almost alone, for a year, so we had plenty of time to talk and get to know each-other. He was kinda flirty, but he's like this with other girls too, and now I only see him once every other month when he arranges a meet up.
    What can I do?
    Nobody is supposed to admit feelings first these days, the trick is to have a completely emotionless relationship in which you fill the gap with pornographic-style sex before you break up and repeat the cycle. Any feelings you have you should suppress until you publish an award winning autobiography in your mid 50s, at which point any ex partners who are alive will be hounded and harrassed by the people of Twitter, at which point they will probably understand how you felt.
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    (Original post by Clez)
    Nobody is supposed to admit feelings first these days, the trick is to have a completely emotionless relationship in which you fill the gap with pornographic-style sex before you break up and repeat the cycle. Any feelings you have you should suppress until you publish an award winning autobiography in your mid 50s, at which point any ex partners who are alive will be hounded and harrassed by the people of Twitter, at which point they will probably understand how you felt.
    Well, when you put it like that...
 
 
 
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