Turn on thread page Beta

University is making me extremely depressed watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Its been a month since I moved into halls but I feel lonely and depressed .I haven't made any proper friends and feel isolated from my flat mates. I'm at a good Uni and the course is going fairly well but its a new course so there is no course rep or course socials and there is only around 20 of us on this course. I chose the Uni but I didn't realise my course was taught by its medical and dental school which is very independent from the main uni itself (has its own societies, union, campus, accommodation). I live with all medics and dentists (98% of the hall are medics and dentists) and they have all formed there own cliques mainly based on there courses. I seem to fit into none. I'm not anti-social I love going out, partying, drinking and had loads of friends at my sixth form but I feel as though I don't fit in here.
    My flatmates who I have been out with a few times during fresher's week have sort of started to ignore me. They all study the same course so I feel left out of conversations as they constantly talk about there course. They all pre drink with there friends from there course in our kitchen or sit in the kitchen doing there work as a group and almost ignore me when I walk in, I do all ways say hello or ask about there day but I'm lucky if I get a reply. When they do go out they do usually ask me if I have plans (which normally I don't) but they don't invite me and I feel bad just tagging along.
    I did join several societies but was constantly reminded that I'm not a medic and felt as though I didn't belong in the societies, even people in societies talk about there course.
    The people on my course (only 20 of us) of which half of them are commuters, there is a few of us at the hall but they have made friends with there flat mates and tend to go out with them.
    I feel like I have tried to make friends but really don't know what else to do, I just feel lonely a lot of the time, I have a few friends from sixth form at others unis in the city but they have there own groups of friends from there course and from there halls. The last week has been extremely difficult I've spent nearly every evening in my room and feel negative about almost everything, I keep having break downs and start randomly crying and thinking of home and my friends and all the good times I've had. I thought Uni would be they best experience of my life but its awful and I don't know what else to do, whether to drop out?.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    The thing you have to learn quickly is that life isn't perfect. Its filled with hurdles like this. I feel like I am in a semi similar position to you. I keep myself to myself at the naval academy I am at. It does get hard some days because you feel lonely but you have to conquer and accept it. I'm not the type of person to party or anything(bit boring) but I learned not to care. You have to frame it like this. What are you at university for? You're not their for a good time contrary to what tens of thousands of hipsters say to you. You are there to gain qualification to hopefully pursue a lucrative career. Take me for example. I'm at a navy academy studying to train to be a navigation officer. I have a very fixed goal in mind that I want and desire. I've come to accept that my time here is going to be difficult and it will be a major hurdle but I've learnt to think to myself in such a way as to block out most socially demanding aspects of my personality whilst I'm here. I'm not here to party, super socialise and have fun. Maybe I'm an odd example but I learn to deal with things like this. Just hold in there and think of the end goal.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Its been a month since I moved into halls but I feel lonely and depressed .I haven't made any proper friends and feel isolated from my flat mates. I'm at a good Uni and the course is going fairly well but its a new course so there is no course rep or course socials and there is only around 20 of us on this course. I chose the Uni but I didn't realise my course was taught by its medical and dental school which is very independent from the main uni itself (has its own societies, union, campus, accommodation). I live with all medics and dentists (98% of the hall are medics and dentists) and they have all formed there own cliques mainly based on there courses. I seem to fit into none. I'm not anti-social I love going out, partying, drinking and had loads of friends at my sixth form but I feel as though I don't fit in here.
    My flatmates who I have been out with a few times during fresher's week have sort of started to ignore me. They all study the same course so I feel left out of conversations as they constantly talk about there course. They all pre drink with there friends from there course in our kitchen or sit in the kitchen doing there work as a group and almost ignore me when I walk in, I do all ways say hello or ask about there day but I'm lucky if I get a reply. When they do go out they do usually ask me if I have plans (which normally I don't) but they don't invite me and I feel bad just tagging along.
    I did join several societies but was constantly reminded that I'm not a medic and felt as though I didn't belong in the societies, even people in societies talk about there course.
    The people on my course (only 20 of us) of which half of them are commuters, there is a few of us at the hall but they have made friends with there flat mates and tend to go out with them.
    I feel like I have tried to make friends but really don't know what else to do, I just feel lonely a lot of the time, I have a few friends from sixth form at others unis in the city but they have there own groups of friends from there course and from there halls. The last week has been extremely difficult I've spent nearly every evening in my room and feel negative about almost everything, I keep having break downs and start randomly crying and thinking of home and my friends and all the good times I've had. I thought Uni would be they best experience of my life but its awful and I don't know what else to do, whether to drop out?.
    Hey,so sorry you feel rubbish at the moment, its awful you feel like dropping out, but if you've worked hard to get into uni it would be a shame to drop out now. In my 1st year I felt isolated sometimes but more because I'm not much of a drinker and because I commute to my uni, rather than halls. Locking yourself away isn't going to make you feel any better, has your uni got a counselling service you could see, there usually free and it's good to talk about it with someone, they help a lot in my experience because everything is clearly taking a hit on your self esteem.

    Has anyone on your course suggested a night out? If not maybe suggest that, it doesn't even have to be like a partying night out, you could see whats in the city your living in, like bowling, good food then go on a bar/pub crawl afterwards, if alot of the people are commuters, chances are they know of the things that are happening in the city. It helps to get to know each other better that way and you might form some stronger friendships. You shouldn't feel bad tagging along with you flat mates, your there for the experience too and even if they don't invite you, just tag along and don't feel bad about it. It's your university experience as much as the rest of your flatmates too, regardless of the course differences.

    Hope you feel better soon

    <3
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    many people are in this situation.

    the trick is to find yourself, who you really are, without influence from others and their choices. most people just follow the crowd, which is okay, but its not good to finding yourself, confidently, that way, the real geniune people become your friends, and the opposite sex is also attracted to more.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 19, 2015
Poll
Do you think parents should charge rent?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.