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Attention seeking friend watch

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    I don't have many friends at school. In fact, I basically have one. We've been getting on so well for the last year and a bit and we've grown really close, and like most people we put up with each other's more annoying habits (of which I'm not at all under the impression that I am without), however lately I feel like things have got a little bit out of hand. My friend has always liked attention a bit too much (I cannot stand attention seeking), for example we have a few teachers that really play up to it so around them she'll purposely talk about how rubbish and awful she is academically (even if she just got a good grade back on a paper) and as a person, and they will of course immediately shower her with praise. She will also act really glum and depressed a lot around them too. This happens quite often, and while it really gets on my nerves I just ignore it because all in all the rest of her personality is awesome so I don't feel I could have been justified in complaining.
    However, things have a bit extreme lately. She's been acting up on the "my life is so terrible" thing way too much and quite frankly it's like being around a dementor, I feel like she's sucking the happiness out of me and making me miserable too. She's also vying for attention of the teachers more, for example when she gets an A grade essay back, she'll sometimes cry and say how rubbish she is because it's not an A*, and similar things like that. What really takes the biscuit though, is that the other day she had a "panic attack" in the middle of the lesson, resulting in the teacher abounding our whole class and spending the hour teaching her one on one. Now I don't want to offend anyone, but the panic attack seemed super fake to me. She suddenly just started breathing really loudly and when I asked her what was wrong she was like "oh, I don't know, I just can't breathe very well". Like I said, don't want to offend, but my dads a doctor and I asked him what a person having a panic attack behaved like and he said that they were very unresponsive, and as the name suggests, panicky. She was neither of these things.
    So, I don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin a good friendship but I really am finding her behaviour pathetic and hard to be around now. Any advice? Or am I just being a hard faced cow? I personally don't think so, but I could've wrong.
    Thanks.
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    shes definitely an attention seeker ask her why she loves lying.
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    I had a friend exactly like that, she came in and moaned everyday and I swear she never stopped. She came in and claimed to have had 4 panic attacks in the night (which is not actually possible because your body needs time to recover from the previous one). She said her aunt had diagnosed her with depression and stuff and it got really old. Yes, she was moving to Saudi Arabia which is a big change, but she would still be boarding in England. After two years, my sympathy just completely ran out and when the summer came I just broke off contact to her and that was that.

    People who have a lot of negativity around them can bring you down and that is not a good thing, especially when you're doing exams or have lots of homework. Try to talk to her about it. If that doesn't work then i'm afraid that friendship might not be healthy for you. Plus there are millions of people in the world, I'm sure there is someone else around to be friends with. Making friends is hard, but once you do it's great. Also remember that friendships are always changing and thats natural
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    I'd be wary of the term 'attention seeking'. People don't intentionally bring attention to themselves for no reason whatsoever. Of course, I don't know your friend or the situation, however...

    Generally when people increase their behaviour to bring more attention to themselves it is because they want someone to take notice of something they can't just say out loud. It doesn't have to be something terrible, the above example of moving to Saudi Arabia is a good one of that. Perhaps that person is just super anxious about something that is happening/coming up and does not now how to manage that and therefore wants help and finds the positive attention that their behaviour generates helps. Of course, it could also be something very terrible.

    I'm not excusing the behaviour, merely describing reasons why it might happen. These types of behaviours are rarely helpful in the long term as they don't really tackle the underlying causes of the problem.

    I am allergic to nuts and I used to fake reactions to get out of school because of the bullying I experienced. In one specific example our German teacher brought in some biscuits, I ate one and had a pseudo-reaction (in retrospect, I suspect I intentionally had the response as an excuse to leave), one of my class mates called me out on it at the time. To them it seems like faking/attention seeking, when what I wanted someone to do was come and ask my why I kept having these reactions so I could tell them what the real problem is. Effective? Not at all. But it is what people tend to do.

    You could try just asking her if everything is OK at home/school etc? Perhaps she needs someone to talk to.
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    (Original post by MaddieJensen)
    I had a friend exactly like that, she came in and moaned everyday and I swear she never stopped. She came in and claimed to have had 4 panic attacks in the night (which is not actually possible because your body needs time to recover from the previous one). She said her aunt had diagnosed her with depression and stuff and it got really old. Yes, she was moving to Saudi Arabia which is a big change, but she would still be boarding in England. After two years, my sympathy just completely ran out and when the summer came I just broke off contact to her and that was that.

    People who have a lot of negativity around them can bring you down and that is not a good thing, especially when you're doing exams or have lots of homework. Try to talk to her about it. If that doesn't work then i'm afraid that friendship might not be healthy for you. Plus there are millions of people in the world, I'm sure there is someone else around to be friends with. Making friends is hard, but once you do it's great. Also remember that friendships are always changing and thats natural
    Hmmm, the problem is though, I really, really struggle to make friends. I get bullied quite a lot (not so more now as before, however), and prior to sort of the past year and a half, I've never really had one friend, people just never seemed to like me much. I found that makes me feel really lonely, so I'm sort of feeling in the 'beggars can't be choosers' situation.
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    (Original post by robinfr)
    shes definitely an attention seeker ask her why she loves lying.
    I was thinking of talking to her about it. I'm just wary that I'm perhaps expecting other people to be perfect when I'm sure I'm not.
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    (Original post by daviem)
    I don't have many friends at school. In fact, I basically have one. We've been getting on so well for the last year and a bit and we've grown really close, and like most people we put up with each other's more annoying habits (of which I'm not at all under the impression that I am without), however lately I feel like things have got a little bit out of hand. My friend has always liked attention a bit too much (I cannot stand attention seeking), for example we have a few teachers that really play up to it so around them she'll purposely talk about how rubbish and awful she is academically (even if she just got a good grade back on a paper) and as a person, and they will of course immediately shower her with praise. She will also act really glum and depressed a lot around them too. This happens quite often, and while it really gets on my nerves I just ignore it because all in all the rest of her personality is awesome so I don't feel I could have been justified in complaining.
    However, things have a bit extreme lately. She's been acting up on the "my life is so terrible" thing way too much and quite frankly it's like being around a dementor, I feel like she's sucking the happiness out of me and making me miserable too. She's also vying for attention of the teachers more, for example when she gets an A grade essay back, she'll sometimes cry and say how rubbish she is because it's not an A*, and similar things like that. What really takes the biscuit though, is that the other day she had a "panic attack" in the middle of the lesson, resulting in the teacher abounding our whole class and spending the hour teaching her one on one. Now I don't want to offend anyone, but the panic attack seemed super fake to me. She suddenly just started breathing really loudly and when I asked her what was wrong she was like "oh, I don't know, I just can't breathe very well". Like I said, don't want to offend, but my dads a doctor and I asked him what a person having a panic attack behaved like and he said that they were very unresponsive, and as the name suggests, panicky. She was neither of these things.
    So, I don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin a good friendship but I really am finding her behaviour pathetic and hard to be around now. Any advice? Or am I just being a hard faced cow? I personally don't think so, but I could've wrong.
    Thanks.
    Have you thought about becoming vegetarian?
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    (Original post by _Sinnie_)
    I'd be wary of the term 'attention seeking'. People don't intentionally bring attention to themselves for no reason whatsoever. Of course, I don't know your friend or the situation, however...

    Generally when people increase their behaviour to bring more attention to themselves it is because they want someone to take notice of something they can't just say out loud. It doesn't have to be something terrible, the above example of moving to Saudi Arabia is a good one of that. Perhaps that person is just super anxious about something that is happening/coming up and does not now how to manage that and therefore wants help and finds the positive attention that their behaviour generates helps. Of course, it could also be something very terrible.

    I'm not excusing the behaviour, merely describing reasons why it might happen. These types of behaviours are rarely helpful in the long term as they don't really tackle the underlying causes of the problem.

    I am allergic to nuts and I used to fake reactions to get out of school because of the bullying I experienced. In one specific example our German teacher brought in some biscuits, I ate one and had a pseudo-reaction (in retrospect, I suspect I intentionally had the response as an excuse to leave), one of my class mates called me out on it at the time. To them it seems like faking/attention seeking, when what I wanted someone to do was come and ask my why I kept having these reactions so I could tell them what the real problem is. Effective? Not at all. But it is what people tend to do.

    You could try just asking her if everything is OK at home/school etc? Perhaps she needs someone to talk to.
    I don't want to sound horrible, but I think the reason she does it is just because she literally likes having people pandering over her. She never acts like it around me because she knows I won't do that, but we all have problems and issues but we don't all try and milk it. I find it really frustrating probably because we spend so much time together so I see how she really is, and to to see her behaving like this aggravates me because I can see how fake it is.
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    (Original post by Smonnie)
    Have you thought about becoming vegetarian?
    What do you mean?
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    (Original post by daviem)
    What do you mean?
    It's where you don't eat meat.
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    (Original post by Smonnie)
    It's where you don't eat meat.
    Why are you asking me?
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    (Original post by daviem)
    Why are you asking me?
    It might help?
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    (Original post by Smonnie)
    It might help?
    Please would you explain further, I don't understand how being a vegetarian would help in this situation. Why are you presuming that I am not a vegetarian?
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    (Original post by daviem)
    Please would you explain further, I don't understand how being a vegetarian would help in this situation. Why are you presuming that I am not a vegetarian?
    Are you vegetarian?
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    (Original post by Smonnie)
    Are you vegetarian?
    Why would it help?
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    (Original post by daviem)
    Why would it help?
    Are you?
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    (Original post by Smonnie)
    Are you?
    Clearly you think your'e funny by writing nonsense, but it's a bit annoying in all honesty, I'm really unsure about the situation with my friend, so if you have any real advice then please leave it.
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    I wholeheartedly know how you feel OP. I was a bully victim a lot of the time in high school and found it really difficult to make friends. It probably seems more of an issue because this girl you're friends with is the only girl you'd regard as a friend.

    Firstly, I wouldn't suggest throwing away a friendship if this is the only issue. Maybe as someone suggested speak to her about it? Find out if there's anything bothering her, especially as it is getting worse. It also seems it's more of an academic problem, since she's seeking approval of her grades off of her teachers etc.

    Secondly, don't worry about having one friend - you will eventually find you talk to people the more you progress in high school. If there's people in your school who you get on with, don't be shy to get involved with them, e.g. asking to sit near them, talk to them after class etc.

    Having one friend can make you feel lonely but just take opportunities to try to expand your circle, even with the friend you've got at the moment.
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    Did not read lol
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    (Original post by DanielleT192)
    I wholeheartedly know how you feel OP. I was a bully victim a lot of the time in high school and found it really difficult to make friends. It probably seems more of an issue because this girl you're friends with is the only girl you'd regard as a friend.

    Firstly, I wouldn't suggest throwing away a friendship if this is the only issue. Maybe as someone suggested speak to her about it? Find out if there's anything bothering her, especially as it is getting worse. It also seems it's more of an academic problem, since she's seeking approval of her grades off of her teachers etc.

    Secondly, don't worry about having one friend - you will eventually find you talk to people the more you progress in high school. If there's people in your school who you get on with, don't be shy to get involved with them, e.g. asking to sit near them, talk to them after class etc.

    Having one friend can make you feel lonely but just take opportunities to try to expand your circle, even with the friend you've got at the moment.
    The problem is I don't know how to talk to her about it without offending her. I really don't. Also, with the making new friends thing, I'm just not sure it's realistic, I feel like I've exhausted all my options haha. I reckon talking to her might be the best thing though because I really don't know how much more I can stand, so would you have any more advice on how to go about that?
 
 
 
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