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Third week of uni finished - haven't met anybody, is it too late? watch

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    Hey TSR

    Just thought I'd create an account as I'm now a first year at Brighton Uni and this forum might be useful to me. Just looking for thoughts/advice on this issue... did a third year at college due to poor performance and then took a gap year.

    Was really looking forward to uni and it's been an interesting experience so far but I am slightly troubled by the whole social side of it. Moved into a student house as ineligible for halls (only lived a few miles away beforehand), and have become good friends with a couple of my housemates, and since I moved into town, things have been pretty crazy. But, I haven't made a single friend through uni itself nor have I really met or gotten to known anybody properly.

    Now I've finished the third week, I'm starting to wonder if it's too late. I didn't go to any freshers events as I really hate tacky generic nightclubs (and my housemates don't like it either, so didn't really have anybody to go with). I also missed first day of uni due to being stranded elsewhere in the country, and missed the introductory social where everybody got loads of free wine. When I left college all of my local friends had pretty much buggered off elsewhere, but I managed to make a nice handful of friends and acqutainces through getting involved in the psychedelic party scene, among other things just generally out and about.

    I am not friendless now as I still know lots of people locally who I see fairly regularly, but that being said, it's arguable that I still don't have any close friends who I see multiple times per week (bar housemates). Worried that during the winter, my social life will dry up a bit and I won't have any uni friends.

    I suffer from social anxiety, which makes it very hard to meet people and make friends the way normal people seem to effortlessly. University doesn't seem to have provided any opportunity for me to make friends, and already it's a very clicky and rigid social environment. There's no real opportunity to talk to people at lectures or seminars, you just turn up participate in the seminar/listen to the lecture and leave. During lecture breaks I'm just 'that guy' standing awkwardly on his own smoking a cigarette.

    So yeah, what should I do? Is it too late? Really struggling to see how I'm going to ever meet anybody at uni and make proper friendships. It isn't the end of the world, as I still have a social life and means of meeting people, but that could dry up and if uni doesn't provide anybody I'll be pretty lonely.
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    Have you tried joining any sports clubs or societies? That's how I met one of my good friends. The meeting and the society as a whole was rubbish but we decided to leave and hang out ourselves and ended up as flatmates!
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    (Original post by hattiemcbinky)
    Have you tried joining any sports clubs or societies? That's how I met one of my good friends. The meeting and the society as a whole was rubbish but we decided to leave and hang out ourselves and ended up as flatmates!
    Yeah, it's something I've considered but the university's list of society's on the website doesn't seem to contain current info. Will definitely try and find out though and join them if they are available. Are we saying though that if that doesn't work I have no real opportunity to meet/befriend people at uni (given that I currently have a big fat zero number of associates/contacts/friends to build from)?
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    Hmm if you have social anxiety I don't know what I have...haven't befriended anyone; no exaggeration, I have been essentially alone in uni for the two weeks I've been here. Don't even know the names of people in my flat. But I know that even the fairly introverted can make friends at societies so I second that idea I guess.
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    (Original post by LiquidKnowledge)
    Yeah, it's something I've considered but the university's list of society's on the website doesn't seem to contain current info. Will definitely try and find out though and join them if they are available. Are we saying though that if that doesn't work I have no real opportunity to meet/befriend people at uni (given that I currently have a big fat zero number of associates/contacts/friends to build from)?
    Of course not, they are just ways to meet people the quickest, just to put yourself in several situations where you will meet a lot of new people at the same time, and they are out looking for new friends too. Not having an instant connection doesn't mean you wont develop new friendships over time in these societies/clubs or your classes.
 
 
 
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