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Did I do stuff with him too soon to lead to a relationship? watch

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    There's this guy I work with and we've been flirting for a while. We were out last night and as kissed for the first time and he ended up at mine. We didn't have sex but did everything else a few times in the night and then again in the morning. This morning I stayed for a few hours, we were chatting, did more sexual stuff, spent most of it in bed just talking and cuddling. It was good fun and we had a laugh. We both said we'd want there to be a 'next time' but we didn't specify what that was. And we kissed goodbye today as well.

    I'm starting to worry that I did physical things with him too soon. I really like him and might want to be in a relationship with him, but I don't want it to be that every time we see each other we have sex, I actually want to do stuff or go out and talk as well, He's 30 and I'm 24.

    What should I do? Have I ruined it potentially?
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    Hard to say. I am a fan of a slight build up. Guess it depends who much he fancies you and what he's after. Suggest a more conventional date activity next time and see how it goes. Good luck.
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    This would be too soon for me frankly, but everyone is different. It's nothing to do with judgements about sex or anything, for me it's just something I'd do with someone I wasn't looking to be serious with. You can recover though by putting boundaries and dating etiquette back in place, making it clear it's not a casual thing for you.
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    (Original post by Zarek)
    Hard to say. I am a fan of a slight build up. Guess it depends who much he fancies you and what he's after. Suggest a more conventional date activity next time and see how it goes. Good luck.
    Yeah me too normally but I was very drunk on Friday and I guess I went after what I wanted. I don't think I want to suggest anything, since I am feeling like it may have been to physical to give off any other intentions, I want him to make the first move this time.

    (Original post by AvaAdore)
    This would be too soon for me frankly, but everyone is different. It's nothing to do with judgements about sex or anything, for me it's just something I'd do with someone I wasn't looking to be serious with. You can recover though by putting boundaries and dating etiquette back in place, making it clear it's not a casual thing for you.
    How do I do that? I have no idea if I want to date him yet or get serious with him, I just know that I like him and that I don't want to turn into a fwb situation. If I said it's not just casual for me that would imply that I'm looking for something really serious. Which I could be, but I don't know, I want to get to know him a bit better first.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There's this guy I work with and we've been flirting for a while. We were out last night and as kissed for the first time and he ended up at mine. We didn't have sex but did everything else a few times in the night and then again in the morning. This morning I stayed for a few hours, we were chatting, did more sexual stuff, spent most of it in bed just talking and cuddling. It was good fun and we had a laugh. We both said we'd want there to be a 'next time' but we didn't specify what that was. And we kissed goodbye today as well.

    I'm starting to worry that I did physical things with him too soon. I really like him and might want to be in a relationship with him, but I don't want it to be that every time we see each other we have sex, I actually want to do stuff or go out and talk as well, He's 30 and I'm 24.

    What should I do? Have I ruined it potentially?
    No.

    If he is the kind of guy that is put off by girls who like and enjoy sex, then he is NOT the kind of guy you would want to be dating anyway.

    To be honest, there is no such thing as "too soon", only ever "not soon enough". Literally, on the first date, you need to go the whole hog, insist on giving him the grand tour.

    Attractive guys will constantly have other offers: if you're not putting out the full works from day one, some other girl will be.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    No.

    If he is the kind of guy that is put off by girls who like and enjoy sex, then he is NOT the kind of guy you would want to be dating anyway.

    To be honest, there is no such thing as "too soon", only ever "not soon enough". Literally, on the first date, you need to go the whole hog, insist on giving him the grand tour.

    Attractive guys will constantly have other offers: if you're not putting out the full works from day one, some other girl will be.
    I think I'm more worried about whether he would now assume that I'm only someone to fool around with or get physical with, when I'd like to get to know him and see if there's anything there between us. And sex would be a part of that, but I don't want that to be the only thing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think I'm more worried about whether he would now assume that I'm only someone to fool around with or get physical with, when I'd like to get to know him and see if there's anything there between us. And sex would be a part of that, but I don't want that to be the only thing.
    But apply some logic. Why on earth would he assume that?

    The ONLY reason a guy would want to **** a girl but not date her was if she had some personality defect that made her annoying or embarrassing in some way.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    But apply some logic. Why on earth would he assume that?

    The ONLY reason a guy would want to **** a girl but not date her was if she had some personality defect that made her annoying or embarrassing in some way.
    That sounds almost too simple to make sense ha! So what do you reckon I should do now?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That sounds almost too simple to make sense ha! So what do you reckon I should do now?
    Be yourself. Ultimately, you need to find someone who is compatible with you, as you really are.

    So try to find stuff that the two of you genuinely enjoy doing together. That should include - but NOT be restricted to - hot sweaty pounding bedroom action.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Be yourself. Ultimately, you need to find someone who is compatible with you, as you really are.

    So try to find stuff that the two of you genuinely enjoy doing together. That should include - but NOT be restricted to - hot sweaty pounding bedroom action.
    That's the most useful, straightforward advice I've heard recently. Thanks.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's the most useful, straightforward advice I've heard recently. Thanks.
    No problem
 
 
 
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