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Is having a decent personality not good enough? watch

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    So I was discussing why I always get friend zoned by my crushes to one of my best friends.
    He told me it was because I don't flirt.(How do I even flirt, I can't even define the act ffs)
    So I joked and and asked him if I should flirt more while tossed my hair a bit to make my point.
    He replied seriously that I'm not a typical girl and it wouldn't be "me" if I started to flirt.
    I dont understand this, I know I'm not pretty nor sexy, I like getting good grades so I suppose I'm a nerd. I'm a typical asian. However, it's not like I have a *****y personality, I'm always happy (according to people), love a good laugh; lots of my friends tell me I have a sweet nature although I have no idea why lol.
    Still it feels like my best friend basically told me that I'm not qualified to flirt and I'm deemed to be friend zoned forever?
    I asked my best friend this and he tried to make it up for me by saying how I have a personality (i.e. not being boy crazy like most girls) and etc..., but I was really hurt by the truth.
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    Who cares about personality anymore? I don't.

    Your friend is right. People only buy what they see.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I was discussing why I always get friend zoned by my crushes to one of my best friends.
    He told me it was because I don't flirt.(How do I even flirt, I can't even define the act ffs)
    So I joked and and asked him if I should flirt more while tossed my hair a bit to make my point.
    He replied seriously that I'm not a typical girl and it wouldn't be "me" if I started to flirt.
    I dont understand this, I know I'm not pretty nor sexy, I like getting good grades so I suppose I'm a nerd. I'm a typical asian. However, it's not like I have a *****y personality, I'm always happy (according to people), love a good laugh; lots of my friends tell me I have a sweet nature although I have no idea why lol.
    Still it feels like my best friend basically told me that I'm not qualified to flirt and I'm deemed to be friend zoned forever?
    I asked my best friend this and he tried to make it up for me by saying how I have a personality (i.e. not being boy crazy like most girls) and etc..., but I was really hurt by the truth.
    It gets better in time. I would suggest that you simply continue with your studies and social life.

    Are you in high school, college or university? Do you work?

    If you're still in full-time education, it's a crucial stage in your life and I think you should stay focused on that. The experiences you crave or fantasize about will come eventually, whether at university or when you're working. Best not to dwell on it if it's getting you down. I don't see anything wrong with what you've described, your best friend doesn't sound like a best friend which is why I asked if you're at high school/college. So, just keep moving forwards and focus on the things that matter right now.
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    (Original post by Most Competitive)
    Who cares about personality anymore? I don't.

    Your friend is right. People only buy what they see.
    Aw it's so sad when I do, the guys I like aren't good looking but have great personalities. But then they end up falling for the more good looking girls
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    It gets better in time. I would suggest that you simply continue with your studies and social life.

    Are you in high school, college or university? Do you work?

    If you're still in full-time education, it's a crucial stage in your life and I think you should stay focused on that. The experiences you crave or fantasize about will come eventually, whether at university or when you're working. Best not to dwell on it if it's getting you down. I don't see anything wrong with what you've described, your best friend doesn't sound like a best friend which is why I asked if you're at high school/college. So, just keep moving forwards and focus on the things that matter right now.
    I'm in college. That is true, I realised that I should just stop being obsessed with how ugly I am and focus more on getting the grades I want.
    Hope it does get better and people start to think beauty isn't everything(which I doubt). Thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Aw it's so sad when I do, the guys I like aren't good looking but have great personalities. But then they end up falling for the more good looking girls
    :console:

    Are you calling yourself ugly or something? I don't buy it at all.

    Just remember that anyone who doesn't appreciate you for you isn't worth your time.

    In the meantime you just have to learn to love yourself. Feeling down isn't good for anyone
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    I personally think if a girl has a good personality then that is good, but if they are good looking but have no personality then it don't do it for me.
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    Of course personality matters. A beautiful personality makes up a beautiful person.

    Looks are what attracts people first but personality is what makes them stay for the long run. It's what I think anyway :/
 
 
 
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