I would say that I'm a straight guy but I saw a guy the other day and couldn't stop thinking about how good looking he was and now I don't know what this means? I almost started fantasising about him but I would never actually do anything to other guys? Does this make me slightly bi
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- Thread Starter
- 18-10-2015 00:07
- 18-10-2015 00:12
When you say you couldn't stop thinking about how good looking he was, do you think it was more like you want to be him or want to be with him?
I don't know how you can *almost* fantasize about someone, maybe try and do fantasize about having sexy time with him and if that doesn't feel nice you are probably just envious of his looks
- 18-10-2015 00:14
I'd argue that everyone is at least slightly bi
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- TSR Support Team
- 18-10-2015 00:17
Dunno and it doesn't really matter. Don't let it bother you too much, feel free to explore your sexuality within the boundaries of the law. There's nothing to be worried or ashamed of, focus on your current goals and commitments and let things fall into place.
Just ask yourself if it really matters or not whether you're 'slightly bi'. Does it change anything?
So you fantasized about another guy... wow big deal.
- 18-10-2015 00:17
Jesus Christ it's 2015 why you gotta put a label on everything? Just go with the flow man, kiss who you want, shag who you want, marry who you want. Don't worry about sticking within the confines of this label you have out on yourself. Love your life be free.
Posted from TSR Mobile
- 18-10-2015 00:51
i honestly think it just depends on YOU and how you want to define yourself. there are a few possible paths here.
if you are actually bi or pan, then you can explore it, think about it, whatever. find a term that you feel comfortable with because i know that labels can actually make people sometimes feel better if theyre confused.
OR what id think might possibly be better atm, although idk you, is just dont analyse it, dont stress (easier said than done i know, sorry) but just understand that it isnt really of any consequence if sometimes you think about guys that way. i mean, you say youd rather not act on it anyways, so it doesnt have to be a big deal at all! you dont have to label yourself, you dont have to talk about it, whatever. youre not hurting anyone, youre just appreciating. for whatever purpose. if labelling it makes you feel better then go ahead but if it makes you nervous, then guy crushes can just be a little inconsequential thing that happens to you sometimes that i really wouldnt get too upset over. theres also the fact that youre totally not alone. a lot of people feel that way. you might just be going through a particularly curious phase, but i also know that thats quite a patronising suggestion to many people. if you choose not to label it for now and that makes you happy, then maybe several years down the line, your views might change again! life is long, and however you view yourself now isnt going to determine how youre going to view yourself forever.
so yep, theres the possibility that you just have a sort of curious, or even jealous, sort of fascination that isnt actually sexual or just turns out to not be founded in much. sometimes its hard to tell. if it never happens again then there you go, no more confusion! but bear in mind that whatever happens isnt some kind of choice and certainly not one with right or wrong answers. however you feel is just as it is and you cant really change it, so please dont try and force it, even if for the moment youd just rather keep it on the dl. its good that youre acknowledging and talking about i guess too!
i know the whole 'no need for labels approach' is an obvious response, and a totally valid one in a lot of cases since you shouldnt feel pressure to analyse yourself, not least for other people, but it does kind of half dismiss the fact that to many people sexuality is an important part of identity, and so being unsure can be disconcerting. if you are nervous or confused or weirded out, no matter how many times you try not to be concerned about labels, then just give yourself some time. even if you never really work it out youll be just fine.Last edited by EmergencyBagels; 18-10-2015 at 00:54.
- 18-10-2015 00:57
Ok I get that some people here have and will adopt the 'screw the labels' mentality but we do need to be down to earth and say that there are labels for a reason and that they can assist some people with finding out who they are.
OP: If you only thought about his appearance then that doesn't really affect your sexuality. Aesthetic attraction is not directly linked to sexual attraction.
- Welcome Squad
- 18-10-2015 00:59
Dude it's cool, it really doesn't matter. For a start, a LOT of people have a few "gay" thoughts throughout their lifetimes, even if they've never felt previously inclined towards the same sex. That doesn't really mean anything.
Also, sexuality can change over time, and unless you actually feel you want to try something sexy with a dude, I really wouldn't worry about whether or not you could be bi or pan.
Besides, would it matter anyway? Be with who you want to be with, and don't worry too much.
- 18-10-2015 03:15
I'm asexual and bi but thought I was straight for years, believe me, finding someone good looking does not necessarily mean you want to date them or shag them or whatever. Just let yourself work out your feelings in your own time and try not to stress about it.