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relationship break-up

I've just come out of a relationship where we were engaged for a year and a half. we're uni students but lived together. throughout this time my girlfriend actually had another boyfriend in another country whom she went to see 5 or six times a year. I kept saying to her that it made me really upset and it was unfair etc. but she replied that she'd get over him eventually and that she'd be able to make a new future with me. in the end she went back to him, and basically i feel really betrayed after putting up with everything. I hate myself for having believed her when she said she just needed to 'finish a cycle'. I changed the country i was going to study in just to be with her, now i feel like i've missed out two years of my life where i could have been doing a course i wanted to do in a country i was happier in. I care for her terribly, and in the end she said she wanted to break up so as not to hurt me anymore.

Her advice was if the roles had been reversed 'i'd have beaten you up and had nothing to do with you'...

life has a habbit of working out where we still have to be in close proximity.
I just can't believe that i was such a mug to be misled so badly.
end of rant... how do i get my life back on track?

Reply 1

bunthulhu

14

Did you post about this before? I remember a very similar situation and practically every TSR member warned that this would happen :frown:

Sorry to hear that it didn't work out.

Reply 2

Pandy

10

let me get this straight...

You got engaged to her.... while she had another boyfriend?

Are you mental?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

yeh it was the same relationship.

we got engaged because she said she only wanted to be with me, then she dumped this other guy for a couple of months (then told him she'd dumped me which wasn't true). but basically pushed him away with one hand and pulled him back with the other. she just needed the attention because she felt so insecure although she only just admitted it.

she now says i'm her best friend but i'm a crutch for her to lean on, so she's not lonely and doesn't have to do any house work... basically.

She said she wanted to be independent and have space but she just prefers for people to wait on her hand and foot... who'd blame her when they're willing/have no choice

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

what hurts most is that she tells me that she only got back together with the other guy a week ago so as to pacify him... and that she doesn't love him or care about him, but that he's a good laugh and lots of fun to go out clubbing with... yet whe he said to her on msn that he's changed his mind and can't forgive her for cheating on him she begs with him and he gives in.

i find it soooooo weird and horrid, why have i devoted myself and given my all to someone who doesn't reciprocate or show that she cares (although she does say she still loves me but is not physically attracted to me anymore)

this was my first serious relationship where we lived together and got engaged and she seemed to special and she spent about a year chasing after me and even got me to come to uni with her and change all my plans etc... why does it happen this way? what to do?

Reply 5

ßlαcksωαn

17

Anonymous

I've just come out of a relationship where we were engaged for a year and a half. we're uni students but lived together. throughout this time my girlfriend actually had another boyfriend in another country whom she went to see 5 or six times a year. I kept saying to her that it made me really upset and it was unfair etc. but she replied that she'd get over him eventually and that she'd be able to make a new future with me. in the end she went back to him, and basically i feel really betrayed after putting up with everything. I hate myself for having believed her when she said she just needed to 'finish a cycle'. I changed the country i was going to study in just to be with her, now i feel like i've missed out two years of my life where i could have been doing a course i wanted to do in a country i was happier in. I care for her terribly, and in the end she said she wanted to break up so as not to hurt me anymore.

Her advice was if the roles had been reversed 'i'd have beaten you up and had nothing to do with you'...

life has a habbit of working out where we still have to be in close proximity.
I just can't believe that i was such a mug to be misled so badly.
end of rant... how do i get my life back on track?

Ah what the ****?

Reply 6

Ireth_Gilraen

That girl is playing you and that other guy. Both of you should just ditch her.

Reply 7

Soul Rebel

12

blackswan

Ah what the ****?

yea, what the ****?

Reply 8

bunthulhu

14

This thread is going exactly the same way as the first one :frown:

OP I think it's just going to be reiterated that the girl is a nasty piece of work and you really need to cut her out of your life. For good.

Reply 9

scribble_girl

14

bunthulhu

This thread is going exactly the same way as the first one :frown:

OP I think it's just going to be reiterated that the girl is a nasty piece of work and you really need to cut her out of your life. For good.

Seconded. I saw the other thread, people aren't going to understand. What you had with her, when it was good, I'm sure, was brilliant. But you've got to let it go if you're going to have a hope of coming out of this and meeting someone who won't mess you around like that :smile:

.

Reply 10

gracie88

14

She sounds like a **** :rolleyes:

Sorry about your break-up OP but in all honesty, it was for the best.

Reply 11

miss_world

3

Please just move on and forget about her! Tell her to shove being friends up where the sun don't shine and try your best to cut her out of your life for good. She sounds really, really mean!

relationship break-up

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