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I'm bitter at my brothers life. watch

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    I'm South asian so academic success is seen as a big thing in my family, I suppose it's a culture thing also.

    One of my mum's friends just came over and told me how her son goes to Exeter and her daughter got A*A*A and is on a gap year but wants to re-apply for medicine. I am doing mostly essay subjects and she assumed I wanted to teach! I said I wanted to study Law, which I don't really want to but feel the need to do it for it still for be a 'respectable' choice. Then she turned around to my brother who is doing his GCSE's and told him to do all sciences and maths at A-level, which I dreamt of doing but I just wasn't capable at the time and it still kills me.

    I was never given the support when I was my brothers age, I found school hard as I suffered with anxiety, my dad was a raging alcoholic, I was bullied and picked on constantly in my lessons, my teachers didn't give a **** and never taugt anything properly and I fell behind badly.My Gcse's are average, I have a couple of A's and B's the rest C's.

    If had the life my brother does, I would be different. My parents have given him tuition from a young age in maths and science. I almost hate my brother for everything he has, his life is so much better than mine was at that age so he will most likely succeed more than I will. I also hate my parents for not recognising my weaknesses in knowledge as they have with my brother.

    I hate my life really. Sometimes I want to give up on A-levels I'm doing (I hate them anyway) and do A-level science and maths, I got B's in both, I'm sure with the hard work I could do it at A-level but I give up on life really, I don't think I will amount to anything great. My brother will do better than me at everything in life.

    I hate I feel this way but I cant help it. It hurts.
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    Prove them wrong!
    I assume you are in your A-Levels. Achieve excellent A-Level grades. Go to uni. Get a 1st hand degree in Law. Apply and get accepted by the Law firm on earth.

    You can do it.

    DONT LET THE PAST DEFINE YOUR FUTURE!
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    (Original post by eoe)
    Prove them wrong!
    I assume you are in your A-Levels. Achieve excellent A-Level grades. Go to uni. Get a 1st hand degree in Law. Apply and get accepted by the Law firm on earth.

    You can do it.

    DONT LET THE PAST DEFINE YOUR FUTURE!
    I am and I will get them but I still feel so inadiquate. So pathetic and useless because I don't do any STEM subjects. Most of the my cousins do something along the lines of engineering or medicine or pharmacy. I actually feel like a waste of space. I'm just angry.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm South asian so academic success is seen as a big thing in my family, I suppose it's a culture thing also.

    One of my mum's friends just came over and told me how her son goes to Exeter and her daughter got A*A*A and is on a gap year but wants to re-apply for medicine. I am doing mostly essay subjects and she assumed I wanted to teach! I said I wanted to study Law, which I don't really want to but feel the need to do it for it still for be a 'respectable' choice. Then she turned around to my brother who is doing his GCSE's and told him to do all sciences and maths at A-level, which I dreamt of doing but I just wasn't capable at the time and it still kills me.

    I was never given the support when I was my brothers age, I found school hard as I suffered with anxiety, my dad was a raging alcoholic, I was bullied and picked on constantly in my lessons, my teachers didn't give a **** and never taugt anything properly and I fell behind badly.My Gcse's are average, I have a couple of A's and B's the rest C's.

    If had the life my brother does, I would be different. My parents have given him tuition from a young age in maths and science. I almost hate my brother for everything he has, his life is so much better than mine was at that age so he will most likely succeed more than I will. I also hate my parents for not recognising my weaknesses in knowledge as they have with my brother.

    I hate my life really. Sometimes I want to give up on A-levels I'm doing (I hate them anyway) and do A-level science and maths, I got B's in both, I'm sure with the hard work I could do it at A-level but I give up on life really, I don't think I will amount to anything great. My brother will do better than me at everything in life.

    I hate I feel this way but I cant help it. It hurts.
    You shouldn't feel bitter towards your brother, it's not his fault. Stop worrying about the past, you cant change it. Work hard at your A-levels and degree. You could just be a late bloomer.
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    (Original post by stochasticking)
    You shouldn't feel bitter towards your brother, it's not his fault. Stop worrying about the past, you cant change it. Work hard at your A-levels and degree. You could just be a late bloomer.
    How do I get over it, I'm starting to actually feel hatred towards him I know i shouldn't feel this way but still.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do I get over it, I'm starting to actually feel hatred towards him I know i shouldn't feel this way but still.
    You don't hate your brother you resent him.
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    Don't feel hatred towards your brother! All you have to do is focus really hard on your A-Levels, get amazing grades and prove everyone wrong. There's many respectable degrees you can do with essay subjects. Just do what makes you happy!
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    (Original post by william walker)
    You don't hate your brother you resent him.
    I don't,I love him I do. But I can't help but feel he has it better than me. I'm useless, and that's not really his fault.
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    You feel bitter at your little brother? Instead of guiding/helping him out you're showing hatred towards him? If you really want to do something like medicine why not just take a gap year out and study STEM subjects but you could just try giving it your best this year and achieve amazing grades and get into a good uni.

    Edit: you're not useless! by saying this and comparing yourself with others you're only degrading yourself. Learn to have self -confidence and start liking yourself. You are just as unique as any other person
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't,I love him I do. But I can't help but feel he has it better than me. I'm useless, and that's not really his fault.
    Yeah you resent him. But you don't hate him. You resent what he has as you wish you had it at that age?
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    (Original post by william walker)
    Yeah you resent him. But you don't hate him. You resent what he has as you wish you had it at that age?
    Yes. I wish we could swap places.
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    (Original post by Jiaaaaaa)
    You feel bitter at your little brother? Instead of guiding/helping him out you're showing hatred towards him? If you really want to do something like medicine why not just take a gap year out and study STEM subjects but you could just try giving it your best this year and achieve amazing grades and get into a good uni.

    Edit: you're not useless! by saying this and comparing yourself with others you're only degrading yourself. Learn to have self -confidence and start liking yourself. You are just as unique as any other person
    I do guide him and help him, of course I want the best for him. I hope he recieves a string of A*'s on results day but it still hurts, it hurts no one was there for me. I feel like a waste. I am taking a gap year anyway so I will think about it. But I just feel bad that I'm not him.
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    Can anyone else offer any advice, I still feel like crap.
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    Anyone else?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do I get over it, I'm starting to actually feel hatred towards him I know i shouldn't feel this way but still.
    Well firstly by understanding that the past is the past and there is nothing in your hands to do it. Beating yourself up, blaming yourself, hating others wishing to live their lives..etc will not let you progress and you will be stuck in that circle.
    The past is gone and we learn from it, you are at the age of making mistakes,failing and getting back up. True failure is letting past mistakes/issues get a hold of you and not looking past it. Life is literally ahead of you and you need to reach out and grab it.
    Secondly DO NOT live your life for others be it parents, uncles aunts..etc This is your life and you only get one, so live it for yourself. By that I don't mean disrespect your parents/elders, you still need to take their advice and learn from their experiences. I just mean don't let others dictate what you life will be.
    So you need t get the notion of '' I have to do X because others want me to do it''
    Once you remove that notion from your mind and the confusion it carries sit with yourself and your thoughts and ask yourself:
    What do i want from my life?
    What do I want to do?
    What am I good at?
    What do I enjoy?
    Can I do it at uni?
    Then work towards that in your Alevels.
    Involve your parents, sit with them explain to them...
    Good luck with everything
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    It goes up and down. I have a brother and at various points have felt his life was better than mine or vice versa. Older brothers have a major disadvantage in that they have to grope blindly through life with no example to work from or expectation of what's to come. But older brothers are usually more confident, independent people because they spent their whole childhood being better than their younger brother at anything competitive, being physically superior if you ever fight or wrestle, and also being protective of their younger brother etc.
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    If you really want to do a STEM subject look at science foundation years, lots of universities do them e.g. http://www.manchester.ac.uk/study/un...-4-or-5-years/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm South asian so academic success is seen as a big thing in my family, I suppose it's a culture thing also.

    One of my mum's friends just came over and told me how her son goes to Exeter and her daughter got A*A*A and is on a gap year but wants to re-apply for medicine. I am doing mostly essay subjects and she assumed I wanted to teach! I said I wanted to study Law, which I don't really want to but feel the need to do it for it still for be a 'respectable' choice. Then she turned around to my brother who is doing his GCSE's and told him to do all sciences and maths at A-level, which I dreamt of doing but I just wasn't capable at the time and it still kills me.

    I was never given the support when I was my brothers age, I found school hard as I suffered with anxiety, my dad was a raging alcoholic, I was bullied and picked on constantly in my lessons, my teachers didn't give a **** and never taugt anything properly and I fell behind badly.My Gcse's are average, I have a couple of A's and B's the rest C's.

    If had the life my brother does, I would be different. My parents have given him tuition from a young age in maths and science. I almost hate my brother for everything he has, his life is so much better than mine was at that age so he will most likely succeed more than I will. I also hate my parents for not recognising my weaknesses in knowledge as they have with my brother.

    I hate my life really. Sometimes I want to give up on A-levels I'm doing (I hate them anyway) and do A-level science and maths, I got B's in both, I'm sure with the hard work I could do it at A-level but I give up on life really, I don't think I will amount to anything great. My brother will do better than me at everything in life.

    I hate I feel this way but I cant help it. It hurts.
    Do something that you really love. Don't worry about your brother being better than you. He isn't. Bitterness and hatred will eat you up inside and make you cold. Your brother won't do any better than you in life. He will do different things, but he won't do any better than you. Don't worry about making a socially acceptable choice of career. It will never make you happy.

    Dealing with what you did and getting good grades is quite remarkable. Academic success isn't everything. It will never be something that truly makes you happy. Just like money won't.

    STEM subjects aren't better than essay subjects. They're just different. You are just as good as your brother, just as intelligent but you are different. You always will be..

    Think about why you want to do STEM at A level. Is it due to a passion for the subject or because you want to be better than your brother?

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    breh fck the asian community, I did that last year and my life has been calm af
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm South asian so academic success is seen as a big thing in my family, I suppose it's a culture thing also.

    One of my mum's friends just came over and told me how her son goes to Exeter and her daughter got A*A*A and is on a gap year but wants to re-apply for medicine. I am doing mostly essay subjects and she assumed I wanted to teach! I said I wanted to study Law, which I don't really want to but feel the need to do it for it still for be a 'respectable' choice. Then she turned around to my brother who is doing his GCSE's and told him to do all sciences and maths at A-level, which I dreamt of doing but I just wasn't capable at the time and it still kills me.

    I was never given the support when I was my brothers age, I found school hard as I suffered with anxiety, my dad was a raging alcoholic, I was bullied and picked on constantly in my lessons, my teachers didn't give a **** and never taugt anything properly and I fell behind badly.My Gcse's are average, I have a couple of A's and B's the rest C's.

    If had the life my brother does, I would be different. My parents have given him tuition from a young age in maths and science. I almost hate my brother for everything he has, his life is so much better than mine was at that age so he will most likely succeed more than I will. I also hate my parents for not recognising my weaknesses in knowledge as they have with my brother.

    I hate my life really. Sometimes I want to give up on A-levels I'm doing (I hate them anyway) and do A-level science and maths, I got B's in both, I'm sure with the hard work I could do it at A-level but I give up on life really, I don't think I will amount to anything great. My brother will do better than me at everything in life.

    I hate I feel this way but I cant help it. It hurts.
    my sisters the same with my brother except shes not very clever I think what it is with Asian parents is that they favour boys over girls that's why I tell my parents nothing because they'll just make it about my brother.
 
 
 
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