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    So im at a university called Brunel (london)and ive started my second year.. originally im from north and im still finding it hard to feel comfortable with the university. I have met some amazing people however i also feel that a lot of people dont invest their time with me, for example i dont text many people at university and also when i see people that ive met on a night out they dont say hi when i walk past or they dont try to get to know me during the night out... i feel like its always me who puts in the effort. Because i do know a lot of people, i feel as though i could pick who i want to be close friends with but I feel as though i wont make any solid friends in the end and again i feel it will be me who initially has to put in all the effort for it to happen. It makes me feel alone... my flat mates suck..

    i really dont know what will make me happy at this university.. i guess strong bonds of people who care about me and likewise me care for them.. My only worry is that i have a feeling that this will happen to me at another university if i transfer. Im finding it tricky to make this decision of transferring or staying as i know i dont have long left at university... and i may have over expected what university should be like.. but i just want a good experience and make solid friends and potentially meet the one.. I also find that generally humans want to get to know a certain individual to a certain level depending on what they think of them, im the same a little bit but i give people a chance if they are cool..and i feel to an extent that is whats going on at this university.. the reason why i feel like staying is that ill lose everyone at this university if i leave, and id be worried about this happening at another uni

    I really need some advice on this one guys, like what would you do, how would you go about things
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    put more effort in.
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    You don't need friends to live. Being lonely isn't a bad thing either.
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    (Original post by AnonymousForLife)
    You don't need friends to live. Being lonely isn't a bad thing either.
    yea yea keep saying that, you are in denial, no one likes being lonely, no one
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    University is a lot more awkward socially for me, than work or even school.

    I mean compare this - in school, I made a friend by just sitting next to her and asking her about herself. In uni, I employ the same strategy and another girl says "Oh look, I gotta go, I'm busy!" when it was an outright lie.

    I eventually made friends who I still keep in touch with, but they only took interest in me because I helped them and expected nothing in return. Ironically, I made friends when I wasn't even making an effort to go out to events.

    Tldr: In my experience, in uni, you may make friends when you least expect it. Don't lose heart, but don't try too hard either.

    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    put more effort in.
    There is such a thing like putting too much effort in, to the point that people may find awkward.
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    (Original post by SecretDuck)

    There is such a thing like putting too much effort in, to the point that people may find awkward.
    He could at least try texting people.

    "for example i dont text many people at university"


    The easiest way to make friends is to find people with a shared interest, and then do that together regularly.

    For example I have a few mates who I play squash with every week. We meet, we play squash, and then we go to the pub. Its as simple as that.

    It doesn't have to be a sport; it could be knitting, music, or even doing uni coursework together.

    As long as you meet regularly to do the activity and then go to the pub afterwards, then you will slowly become closer and closer friends.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    He could at least try texting people.

    "for example i dont text many people at university"


    The easiest way to make friends is to find people with a shared interest, and then do that together regularly.

    For example I have a few mates who I play squash with every week. We meet, we play squash, and then we go to the pub. Its as simple as that.

    It doesn't have to be a sport; it could be knitting, music, or even doing uni coursework together.

    As long as you meet regularly to do the activity and then go to the pub afterwards, then you will slowly become closer and closer friends.
    I helped a few people with one really difficult module, and we became friends.

    I went to events just to make friends and was quite clingy, which turned a lot of people away. I then employed a laissez-faire attitude and didn't care about what people thought of me, and that's when people made the effort to get to know me.

    Looking back on this, I noticed that at school and work, I usually just go with the flow and just be myself which made making friends a lot more effective. In uni, I didn't do this until the final year, so no wonder I didn't make friends until the final year.
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    To all people that make these kind of threads: stop whining and making these kind of threads and maybe you will make some friends.
 
 
 
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