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Girlfriend says "she's just trying her best" watch

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    So.. I've been with my girlfriend since june 7.. And still , she has never told me "I love you" .
    She sometimes barely calls till I ask her too, she has never sent me a sweet love text message too..
    she barely comes over to see me.

    I'm the one always making the moves, its so painful..cuz I really love her so much and can't let go, whenever we have arguments..she never comes back to sort it out, instead she just waits n waits for me to fix things.

    She says she's just trying her "best" in the relationship, and I'm not appreciative of her eFforts that she's not the kinda person that loves... Its just so sad..cuz she's not putting in real *efforts* ..

    I asked to leave the relationship if she wants to.. But all I got as a reply is "I don't know" ..

    So..guys, what can I do?? I've nt contacted her for 2days now..and I miss her already so much.. This is really a hard situation , why should she be in a relationship where she's only "trying her best" ...I'm not some option.. Neither am I to pass time with..

    What can I do guys?
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    I'm sorry you're going through this rough patch in your relationship at the moment.

    I'm absolutely livid; I loathe people who say they're making a lot of effort when the most effort they're making is filling up the chair they sit back back and laze around on. It's like you're tying to communicate with a brick wall :erm: does she get upset when you ignore her or don't reply to her texts?

    Have you spoken to her about how you feel?
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    (Original post by fideo94)
    So.. I've been with my girlfriend since june 7.. And still , she has never told me "I love you" .
    She sometimes barely calls till I ask her too, she has never sent me a sweet love text message too..
    she barely comes over to see me.

    I'm the one always making the moves, its so painful..cuz I really love her so much and can't let go, whenever we have arguments..she never comes back to sort it out, instead she just waits n waits for me to fix things.

    She says she's just trying her "best" in the relationship, and I'm not appreciative of her eFforts that she's not the kinda person that loves... Its just so sad..cuz she's not putting in real *efforts* ..

    I asked to leave the relationship if she wants to.. But all I got as a reply is "I don't know" ..

    So..guys, what can I do?? I've nt contacted her for 2days now..and I miss her already so much.. This is really a hard situation , why should she be in a relationship where she's only "trying her best" ...I'm not some option.. Neither am I to pass time with..

    What can I do guys?
    For one, she's entitled to tell you she loves you in her own time. That is something you can't pressure her into doing, no matter what you may feel. It's a very cliched thing to expect when you say 'I love you' that your partner will automatically respond with the same.

    That said, it does sound like you guys need a serious talk. You have to sit down and talk things through cause I'm sure it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, and it may end with one or both of you getting hurt if you prolong things. Best thing to do is ask to have a serious chat, and go from there. As you say, you aren't an option, and you shouldn't let yourself get hurt pursuing someone who has no serious interest.
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    Maybe she's just not that into you?
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    you sound clingy and needy
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    sounds like you two should part ways, looks like its going nowhere pal.
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    my guess is she is your first girlfriend and you're not her first boyfriend
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    I don't think the I love you thing is a big deal. You can't pressure someone into saying it if they don't feel it..
    But I think maybe you're exaggerating or overthinking it or whatever lol.
    Why not just do the same to her then..
    Like if you don't make an effort with her either, you can wait to see if she does n if she still doesn't then you know what to do ☺️


    (leave herr)


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    In these situations, it helps to take a casual, relaxed approach rather than adopt an intense attitude. In her mind, perhaps she sees herself as putting in the effort and doing her best, but it's clearly not enough for you because you are taking this too seriously. Learn to become independent and realise that you are not the centre of her universe. She has a life, she has things to do so you can't expect her to call, text and see you whenever you need her. I've always had a casual attitude toward this sort of thing and I'm very easygoing so this may not be something that you agree with. Why is it that people take relationships so seriously and then become upset when their significant other does not make them the centre of their universe? It doesn't make sense to me. Relationships are best kept casual rather than be taken too seriously.
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    Are you her first boyfriend?
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    (Original post by thecatwithnohat)
    I'm sorry you're going through this rough patch in your relationship at the moment.

    I'm absolutely livid; I loathe people who say they're making a lot of effort when the most effort they're making is filling up the chair they sit back back and laze around on. It's like you're tying to communicate with a brick wall :erm: does she get upset when you ignore her or don't reply to her texts?

    Have you spoken to her about how you feel?
    Yes, I spoke to her about how I feel, she told me its not her fault that I can't appreciate her efforts.

    She does get upset a bit when I ignore her calls .. But I don't take it seriously
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    (Original post by pbw)
    my guess is she is your first girlfriend and you're not her first boyfriend
    Naa.. I'm not her 1st boyfriend, she's had just one in the past.

    And she's not my 1st, I've had multiple girlfriends before, of which I never loved, I didn't care if they existed or not.
    But, I finally met someone I love and she's not putting in effort.

    Its just so hard !
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    Do you know anything about the relationship with her previous boyfriend?
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    (Original post by Thickfreakness)
    In these situations, it helps to take a casual, relaxed approach rather than adopt an intense attitude. In her mind, perhaps she sees herself as putting in the effort and doing her best, but it's clearly not enough for you because you are taking this too seriously. Learn to become independent and realise that you are not the centre of her universe. She has a life, she has things to do so you can't expect her to call, text and see you whenever you need her. I've always had a casual attitude toward this sort of thing and I'm very easygoing so this may not be something that you agree with. Why is it that people take relationships so seriously and then become upset when their significant other does not make them the centre of their universe? It doesn't make sense to me. Relationships are best kept casual rather than be taken too seriously.
    Wait till you fall inlove pal !
    I'm not the centre of her universe, yet why's she with me?
    I really don't get it.

    I can keep a casual relationship, but not with her.. To be honest, I don't bug her , I have my life too.

    We see twice in a week, some times just once. So, I don't see how I'm pestering her.
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    You sound high maintanence
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    (Original post by fideo94)
    Wait till you fall inlove pal !
    I'm not the centre of her universe, yet why's she with me?
    I really don't get it.

    I can keep a casual relationship, but not with her.. To be honest, I don't bug her , I have my life too.

    We see twice in a week, some times just once. So, I don't see how I'm pestering her.
    I'm in love with three girls. I know it's hard when you don't get the outcome that you want, and there isn't an easy solution to the problem. I have no idea what her intentions are, you've only been together a few months so maybe it's still early for her. Maybe she's unsure or confused. Maybe she already knows what she wants, I have no idea. You'd have to ask her. You have to decide what's best for you. You obviously crave her attention but you're not getting what you want. Can you carry on like this or is it causing too much pain? It's okay to end things with her if you feel that's what's best for you. I think you are bugging her and pestering her a little bit, I don't mean to antagonise you, but I think you do. Once or twice a week is more than enough!!!! That is a LOT, you see her very regularly in that case. Remember, she's not your wife, you can't expect too much from her at this stage.

    I really think it might be good for you to take a more laid back approach. Don't be intense. Keep conversations light and casual, avoid intense topics like discussing commitment. Avoid discussing intense topics because it makes everyone uncomfortable and no one really wants to talk about that at this stage (just four months for you two). There's nothing more annoying than when your partner texts you and calls you regularly, it's too intense, I've been in that situation and it makes me not want to talk to them or spend time with them because they become very annoying and they make things intense and miserable. Be casual and don't take the whole thing too seriously. Try not to feel too upset, you'll push her even further away if you continue to be upset, miserable and negative and making her feel guilty. Don't put her on the spot, let her make up her own mind in her own time.
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    (Original post by OU Student)
    Do you know anything about the relationship with her previous boyfriend?
    Uhmm..
    She dated him for 2yrs, of which they never kissed!
    Lol..
    She says she didn't love him. That she's sure she cant fall inlove, but I shrug that off.
    So, I met her in april and I gave her that beautiful 1st kiss she's never had, we've gone deeper though, a little feels here n there. But no sex yet, that's not my mission.. My target is for her to be with me for as long as people.

    On the other hand, I don't see myself as being needy or clingy, I don't call her every 3 times a day, I don't see her 7times a week, I don't send her love texts every time too.. I call her once a dayy , I see her twice a week or once, I send love texts once in a week, but she's never sent none.

    The only thing she does perfectly is we chat through whatsapp.

    I just happened to fall inlove, I know I'd be fine.. But I love her so deeply, sigh.. I'm trying my best not to put this in my mind too much anymore, maybe she'd still contact me in a few days? I don't know.. If she tells me she wants to leave me, I won't stop her.

    But, she just doesn't know how she feels.
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    (Original post by Thickfreakness)
    I'm in love with three girls. I know it's hard when you don't get the outcome that you want, and there isn't an easy solution to the problem. I have no idea what her intentions are, you've only been together a few months so maybe it's still early for her. Maybe she's unsure or confused. Maybe she already knows what she wants, I have no idea. You'd have to ask her. You have to decide what's best for you. You obviously crave her attention but you're not getting what you want. Can you carry on like this or is it causing too much pain? It's okay to end things with her if you feel that's what's best for you. I think you are bugging her and pestering her a little bit, I don't mean to antagonise you, but I think you do. Once or twice a week is more than enough!!!! That is a LOT, you see her very regularly in that case. Remember, she's not your wife, you can't expect too much from her at this stage.

    I really think it might be good for you to take a more laid back approach. Don't be intense. Keep conversations light and casual, avoid intense topics like discussing commitment. Avoid discussing intense topics because it makes everyone uncomfortable and no one really wants to talk about that at this stage (just four months for you two). There's nothing more annoying than when your partner texts you and calls you regularly, it's too intense, I've been in that situation and it makes me not want to talk to them or spend time with them because they become very annoying and they make things intense and miserable. Be casual and don't take the whole thing too seriously. Try not to feel too upset, you'll push her even further away if you continue to be upset, miserable and negative and making her feel guilty. Don't put her on the spot, let her make up her own mind in her own time.
    Alright then! I'd try not to be upset about the issue anymore, I won't bring it up anymore.

    I'd consider this.
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    (Original post by fideo94)
    So.. I've been with my girlfriend since june 7.. And still , she has never told me "I love you" .
    She sometimes barely calls till I ask her too, she has never sent me a sweet love text message too..
    she barely comes over to see me.

    I'm the one always making the moves, its so painful..cuz I really love her so much and can't let go, whenever we have arguments..she never comes back to sort it out, instead she just waits n waits for me to fix things.

    She says she's just trying her "best" in the relationship, and I'm not appreciative of her eFforts that she's not the kinda person that loves... Its just so sad..cuz she's not putting in real *efforts* ..

    I asked to leave the relationship if she wants to.. But all I got as a reply is "I don't know" ..

    So..guys, what can I do?? I've nt contacted her for 2days now..and I miss her already so much.. This is really a hard situation , why should she be in a relationship where she's only "trying her best" ...I'm not some option.. Neither am I to pass time with..

    What can I do guys?
    Lol been together 4 months and expects love.

    Ah to be stupid


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    (Original post by fideo94)
    Its just so hard !
    porn is your friend
 
 
 
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