Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

What would the average girlfriend say if her boyfriend said this? watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    edited.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Don't be down on yourself. It is perfectly acceptable to keep some things secret forever. So whether you choose to say you are a virgin or not is of no consequence whatsoever. And if you say you are not a virgin, there is no onus on you to go into the specific details. I know about my wife's past partners, but I don't know the intimate details and neither do I want to know.

    As for whether you wait until you are married - well that is your choice. What I will say though is that some people like to paint sex as some form of sacred entity. It is not. It is simply way we reproduce. But more than that, it is jolly good fun and enjoyable. So if you meet someone you fancy, or become intimate with someone you trust, there is nothing wrong with having another shot at it. What does matter is that it is what you want and you are happy with that decision.

    Good luck, have fun, and be safe!
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    YOLO!!!
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Average girlfriend answer would probably depend on her views of the sex industry/sex work.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    You could just not tell her unless she specifically asks? And I think if you made a joke about it and was like 'yeah lol it's a bit sad isn't it' I reckon it would be okay

    And I also doubt you'll make it to marriage if you've already had it, and most people wait like 2-3 years to get married, that's a long time to be with someone without having sex with them :P your choice though.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ByEeek)
    Don't be down on yourself. It is perfectly acceptable to keep some things secret forever.
    Good luck, have fun, and be safe!
    But I'm gonna spend my entire life with any female I may meet. I won't be able to keep it hidden.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    "Yeah, actually when I was 17 a lot of guys told me if you want to really man up you just need to visit a brothel. Obviously, I look up to these guys and they've helped many other times, so next thing I know I'm thrusting a prostitute at XXXXXXX street

    Anyways, I think it was a cop out, I felt actually bad and stupid. Probably the dumbest thing i've ever done. Wouldn't recommend it to anyone."

    Being honest is the gateway to acceptance. I'd spill everything about me if I meet a potential partner. But that's just me.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TSRguy100)
    Soon as I left the brothel I was immensely upset and have regretted doing it ever since. The thing is I have no idea what to say if people ever ask if I'm a virgin or not.
    Just say you're not one. Pretty basic.

    And most important If I get a girlfriend and say ALL of this to her, what would she say (well what is she likely to say) because this is pretty much eating me up inside.
    1. Don't say it unless they ask about it
    2. Reaction will vary from girl to girl, idk what "average" really means in this context.

    but I'm gonna wait until marriage to have sex again to make up for such a loser mistake.
    What
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TSRguy100)
    But I'm gonna spend my entire life with any female I may meet. I won't be able to keep it hidden.
    Why not? There are some things my wife doesn't know about me and never will. It is none of her business. It is private to me and me only. No doubt she has things which are private to her? Why do you feel the need to disclose absolutely everything about yourself to your partner?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ByEeek)
    Why not? There are some things my wife doesn't know about me and never will. It is none of her business. It is private to me and me only. No doubt she has things which are private to her? Why do you feel the need to disclose absolutely everything about yourself to your partner?
    Well, if we're gonna plow, wouldn't she wanna know if I'm a virgin or not/ hot it happened?
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TSRguy100)
    Hi, please read all before making snap judgements.

    So basically when I was 17 (I'm 19 now) I was in a really low point and just got rejected by a girl I really liked. A lot of people I knew at college told me to get a prostitute and lose my virginity to her but I always thought I'd never sink that low, but after getting knocked back by the girl. Everything they said kinda sunk in over time and without thinking, I went ahead and did it.

    Soon as I left the brothel I was immensely upset and have regretted doing it ever since. The thing is I have no idea what to say if people ever ask if I'm a virgin or not.

    And most important If I get a girlfriend and say ALL of this to her, what would she say (well what is she likely to say) because this is pretty much eating me up inside.


    P.s. My youth minister down my church made sure I got checked and I'm clean, but I'm gonna wait until marriage to have sex again to make up for such a loser mistake. Thing is, I doubt I'm gonna make it because I get crazy horny sometimes.
    Virginity is a social construct, so there isn't any set 'criteria' that constitute your losing it. If your future girlfriend really loved you for who you are, she'd accept your past, just as she'd probably expect you to accept hers.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TSRguy100)
    Well, if we're gonna plow, wouldn't she wanna know if I'm a virgin or not/ hot it happened?
    Well whether you are a virgin is a straight yes / no question. And if she cares about you, it is more or less irrelevant. As for how it happened - why would she want to know the gory details? I have no idea how my wife lost her virginity. I have no particular desire to know either. It is irrelevant information.

    That's all.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Its not really anyone else's buisness so if people ask say yes but it's none of your business. In a relationship I'm sure if you explained it like this they wouldn't judge you (although I can't speak for fellow Christians ). If you love or really like someone then it's good to share this information as it'll bring you closer. Don't worry
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    I'd feel disappointed that you ever felt the need to pay for sex, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker. It was a one time thing and you clearly regret it.
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    I'd feel slightly disheartened to know the person I've decided to trust and fall in love with had resorted to prostitution. But then, mutual support is necessary for any relationship to flourish, so I'd try to sit down with you to talk about it and why you did it. A relationship is built on honesty and straighforwardness, and if any of those are missing or lacking, then maybe that relationship wasn't as strong. You regret it and accepted that maybe it was a mistake driven by your hormones going haywire during puberty, so there's at least that.

    Moreover, prostitutes get demonized quite often and that's terrible. Most of these women resort to it out of sheer despair, and you cannot really judge, as each person is a world of their own. Prostitution has been going on ever since sex became something regarded as purely pleasurable and driven by the need for men to impose control and dominance over women. What many women refused to do, protistutes did to men. Many prostitutes hail from Latin American or Eastern European countries and Russia under threat by their pimps or madams and often lied to about the kind of job they will do. Furthermore, they are the women who are most likely to suffer from sexual abuse by clients, because they go as far as depriving them off their humanity and come to regard as mere sexual toys and objects, and such abuse is actually enabled and consented by the authorities.
 
 
 
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?
Useful resources
AtCTs

Ask the Community Team

Got a question about the site content or our moderation? Ask here.

Welcome Lounge

Welcome Lounge

We're a friendly bunch. Post here if you're new to TSR.

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.