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Regret not joining societies... feel lonely all the time with nothing to do. watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    Hi guys,

    So I'm about 5 weeks into university now and I'm really beginning to regret not joining any societies or sports clubs. I only just realised that the deadline to join them has passed. I feel like this would've been a great way to meet friends and new people. I don't really have anyone that I can call a "friend" at the moment. My flatmates tend to not include me in their plans because I don't like clubbing. They even have a 'squad chat' which everyone except me from our apartment is in and everyone from another apartment that they're friends with. Because of this I tend to stay in my room during the day until I need to make dinner. I do try to talk to them when I'm making dinner. I did go to a couple of taster events for societies but they were both poorly organised.

    My day consists of going to lectures with nobody, sitting next to a random person and not talking to them unless our lecturer tells us to. This is mainly because I've been more used to other people starting the conversation. This isn't the case in 1 of our modules, as it's a much smaller group and I can sit next to two people that I normally talk to. At nights I just tend to watch YouTube or Netflix which, don't get me wrong I love doing, but I don't want to do this every night. I would call myself an introvert, but I do like to go out sometimes and speak to people. Sometimes I feel extremely depressed at the fact that I don't have at least 1 person that I can message and say "do you want to meet up?"

    I need a way of making friends at my university. I could try e-mailing the societies but I doubt they'd let me in this late into the year. I made the effort in the first couple of weeks to meet new people, e.g. I went out with a group of people who prefer pubs to clubs, but they haven't organised anything since. I also organised a night of FIFA at my apartment with 3 other guys, but since then I've seen 2 of them and all that's been said is an awkward "alright" and that's it. I wouldn't say that I'm still totally settled into university life, and it's mainly because of the fact that I have nobody I can call a friend. Does anybody have any advice they could give me?

    Why is there a deadline to join? Have you contacted the organisations you are interested in? Explain that you were unsure about joining but now you are. Most societies have a social evening so just pop along. There is usually a huge turnover of newbies at the beginning of any student year before a group emerges to go to the end of the year so you won't be out of place. I joined a mountaineering club when at uni but didn't go to the first event until after Christmas. I was then a member for many years even after I graduated!

    I appreciate that things seem a bit grim now, but people won't come to you. You need to shake yourself up and get out there. Start chatting to folks on your course and get involved in some of these societies.

    Good luck!

    There is no deadline to join sports clubs and societies...

    You should also start going out with your flatmates.
    • PS Reviewer

    PS Reviewer
    There shouldn't be a deadline to join things :nah: FOr example, my club we're always taking on new people :yep:

    The only ones with deadlines I would think would be clubs with trials and performing societies :yep:
    • #2

    I think at my uni societies are now at the point where they no longer automatically send out emails to people who only signed up at the Fair but haven't gone on to join (yet) - the honeymoon period, if you like, is now over. But I can't imagine that means that latecomers can't join. Why would any society refuse membership to an eligible, potential member willing to join in and pay the membership fee?

    I've also heard tell of a Refreshers Fair (Fayre?) at my uni, so that might be worth looking out for at yours. I've seen nothing in writing yet, but I think it's similar to the standard Freshers Fair, but it's held in the second term and is a second chance to find out a bit more about societies.

    Oh, and yes, I do hear you re. the lectures. At some of mine people are fine, but I cant believe how inward looking some people are. Will never speak or make eye contact. I guess it's a bit much perhaps to expect 18 yr olds to engage with the concept of networking! (But now I'm rambling on about my problems and not yours.)

    Are you sure there was an actual deadline? The societies and clubs at my uni had one and emphasised it a tonne - but it turns out it was just for paid membership, there you can go along to most socials without being a member. It might not be too late
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