Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Racism is knocking my confidence watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've had my confidence knocked lately about my ethnicity (Chinese) and it's really getting to me.
    Its my friends that are hurling the jokes/comments at me, which makes it even worse. I used to laugh it off and think nothing of it, but its become a lot worse lately. The comments hurt most when its about my appearance; so anything about my eyes or skin complexion. Sometimes i'll get comments for being disgusting for eating dog (i certainly do not eat dog, never have and never intend to). I can't even concentrate in class anymore because i replay these comments in my head, which physically stings. i feel humiliated and embarrassed each time my boyfriend hears someone making a racist remark at me.
    I never thought racism would be a thing at university, but its gotten to the point where i almost wish i wasn't Chinese.
    I haven't felt happy in my skin for a while and have the constant urge to cry, sometimes even welling up during a lecture.
    I don't know what to do, am i just the type of person who people like to make fun of? Or am i being too sensitive?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Hey girl,

    That sucks. I'm very sorry you have to deal with it. First off, if the people you hang around are saying these things to you, and you consider them your friends, tell them that it bothers you. The comments they are making are unacceptable, but you know them better than I and perhaps they are actually friends who don't realise that what they're doing is hurtful. You shouldn't take this constant pain

    Secondly, racism shouldn't be a thing at university. I have only witnessed it occasionally, and from people who weren't as intelligent, experienced, mature, or cultured as others. Upon growing up and being out in the world, most people who held any racist tendencies should shed them. You are dealing with people who aren't whole, and I hope you don't expect to have to shelter yourself against this mistreatment your whole life. It's not right, and normal, healthy, sound people would only ever treat you as an equal. Chin up. You can PM me anytime, I know it's hard to feel better just because you've read a post from a stranger
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Just nun-chuck them in the face if they don't stop.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    What's there to be humiliated and embarrassed about?
    You're from a country where even the United Kingdom is sucking up to, a rising power in the world.

    But apart from those two lines, I can't offer much else. It's best to ask your fellow countrymen and women about how they deal with it. I'm not going to try and pretend to know what you're going through, it's best to ask other Chinese people or just east Asian people in general how they deal with it.

    Because I'm sure those racists don't really care if your a true Chinese person or Korean, Vietnamese, Japanese etc. So you can ask people from those countries as well, if you lack any Chinese friends.
    • #2
    #2

    awh man... well being muslim and getting all these islamophobic threads and the whole ISIS thing and being called terrorist ... I can relate

    nothing you can do really except ignore... it helps if your friends are supportive, i'd move away from that bunch but talk to them first and if they don't take you seriously just wave goodbye and find people who love and respect you for who you are

    good luck
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've had my confidence knocked lately about my ethnicity (Chinese) and it's really getting to me.
    Its my friends that are hurling the jokes/comments at me, which makes it even worse. I used to laugh it off and think nothing of it, but its become a lot worse lately. The comments hurt most when its about my appearance; so anything about my eyes or skin complexion. Sometimes i'll get comments for being disgusting for eating dog (i certainly do not eat dog, never have and never intend to). I can't even concentrate in class anymore because i replay these comments in my head, which physically stings. i feel humiliated and embarrassed each time my boyfriend hears someone making a racist remark at me.
    I never thought racism would be a thing at university, but its gotten to the point where i almost wish i wasn't Chinese.
    I haven't felt happy in my skin for a while and have the constant urge to cry, sometimes even welling up during a lecture.
    I don't know what to do, am i just the type of person who people like to make fun of? Or am i being too sensitive?
    If it helps, I think you all are beautiful.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've had my confidence knocked lately about my ethnicity (Chinese) and it's really getting to me.
    Its my friends that are hurling the jokes/comments at me, which makes it even worse. I used to laugh it off and think nothing of it, but its become a lot worse lately. The comments hurt most when its about my appearance; so anything about my eyes or skin complexion. Sometimes i'll get comments for being disgusting for eating dog (i certainly do not eat dog, never have and never intend to). I can't even concentrate in class anymore because i replay these comments in my head, which physically stings. i feel humiliated and embarrassed each time my boyfriend hears someone making a racist remark at me.
    I never thought racism would be a thing at university, but its gotten to the point where i almost wish i wasn't Chinese.
    I haven't felt happy in my skin for a while and have the constant urge to cry, sometimes even welling up during a lecture.
    I don't know what to do, am i just the type of person who people like to make fun of? Or am i being too sensitive?
    Listen these are not what you call friends, you are gravely mistaken these are what you call racists and bullies.

    If you consider their comments as "jokes" you need to snap back to reality as they are obviously not being light hearted if they are insulting your appearance and culture.

    You should avoid them at all costs, cut all contact with them as they are clearly being malicious and vicious.

    Either that or stop being a push over and laughing at their pathetic attempts at degrading you because of your ethnicity.

    You need to stand for your rights, and put a stop to these bullies otherwise they will walk all over you laughing.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Find new friends. I don't hang around with people like that. There's plenty of non-racist people around you can replace them with.

    You can report them as well if they're still persistent since you're in university. Quite sure it's illegal to bully people in that type of environment.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Tell them that you take offence. They say this kind of stuff because they assume you know that they're joking, if they don't stop then seek legal advice. We take racism very seriously here in the UK
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Try letting them know they're not funny. You can't be afraid that you'll lose friends if you're standing up for yourself. I'd rather have no company than bad company.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    My last point isn't your boyfriend doing anything to stand up to these bullies that make racist remarks towards your appearance or culture?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Smack them with a wok.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    You must be at university that isn't in London. It'd be incredibly unusual if you were.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    hi I'm chinese too and i have heard my fair share of racist comments. I used to wish i wasn't chinese, but you got to accept that this is who you are, and learn to love it.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    This is terrible, shouldn't be happening in this day and age but I guess people love to push the bounderies for their own 'fun'.

    I think you should report them or make a general complaint about it they'l have to take it seriously.

    Please don't take it next time, be like 'yeah I get that you're trying to have a laugh but I'm actually sick of it tbh and it's beginning to actually make me feel pretty **** so please just stop'
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 25, 2015
Poll
Do you like carrot cake?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.