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    Hello, hope you are all well - I was just wondering if anyone one feels like this but: is anyone else feeling alone or isolated at university? I am in studying in the capital and in my second year but it still feels hard and I am around a lot of people who dislike me. Even in my course of study I am losing interest in my subject and it seems like a chore. I have tried to go to societies and clubs but I still feel this sense of alienation. I do not know if this is social anxiety but I don't like feeling like this as I know it can get eventually worse. I would just appreciate it if someone could respond or maybe tell me their thoughts. I know the tools to maybe improve the situation such as confidence and trying to put yourself out there but it's not working. I don't know if it is that I am not genuine but I want to change this. Thanks if you read this.
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    Try making friends outside of Uni! Like at coffee shops or libraries.

    Something else you can do is get a small part time job so you could make friends with the others that work there.




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    (Original post by neonlasagna)
    Try making friends outside of Uni! Like at coffee shops or libraries.

    Something else you can do is get a small part time job so you could make friends with the others that work there.




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    I know, i'm not trying to make excuses but it feels like they are not receptive, I want to make a change but it's the constant hate

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    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, hope you are all well - I was just wondering if anyone one feels like this but: is anyone else feeling alone or isolated at university? I am in studying in the capital and in my second year but it still feels hard and I am around a lot of people who dislike me. Even in my course of study I am losing interest in my subject and it seems like a chore. I have tried to go to societies and clubs but I still feel this sense of alienation. I do not know if this is social anxiety but I don't like feeling like this as I know it can get eventually worse. I would just appreciate it if someone could respond or maybe tell me their thoughts. I know the tools to maybe improve the situation such as confidence and trying to put yourself out there but it's not working. I don't know if it is that I am not genuine but I want to change this. Thanks if you read this.
    Yep, I'm the exact same. I'm always surrounded by people but always feel alone. I feel like a lot of the people I hang out with don't really like me.
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    I get you. I've got plenty of decent friends I've met so far at uni (partially due to good flatmates) and sometimes despite being around plenty of mates, I still feel a bit alone at times. That said, I've been used to that sort of thing for quite a while now before uni anyway..
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    The part time job suggestion is a good one. The workplace environment is good for camaraderie and you will pick up friends there. Maybe you are a different level of maturity than most of your peers and that's why they're standoffish.

    You're so close to the finish line. Don't give up now.
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    (Original post by ramblerr)
    I get you. I've got plenty of decent friends I've met so far at uni (partially due to good flatmates) and sometimes despite being around plenty of mates, I still feel a bit alone at times. That said, I've been used to that sort of thing for quite a while now before uni anyway..
    I know what you mean, I was thinking last night that my coursemates are not my real mates so maybe I should stop looking for approval - I feel like I am sometimes compromising myself but that ends today.

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    (Original post by CCC75)
    The part time job suggestion is a good one. The workplace environment is good for camaraderie and you will pick up friends there. Maybe you are a different level of maturity than most of your peers and that's why they're standoffish.

    You're so close to the finish line. Don't give up now.
    I had a part time job and my time there with my boss was awful so i'm a bit weary of taking another one tbh, but I do believe that you are right but as I said before I do believe I am compromising myself so i'm gonna focus on my self. Thanks

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yep, I'm the exact same. I'm always surrounded by people but always feel alone. I feel like a lot of the people I hang out with don't really like me.
    I know how you feel

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    I've been at uni for almost a month now and the sense of loneliness is real. I took a gap year during which I only had about two friends who i'd see every other week or so (so I spent the vast majority of the year alone) but I still felt less lonely than I do now, probably because the quality of friends around me is far worse so I can't really open up and stuff
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    I started my first year at uni in September and you could say I have 30-40 'friends' but to be honest, they're just acquaintances.. Don't worry about it, with time you'll find a good few couple of people who will really make your time in uni amazing.
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    (Original post by BB1523)
    I had a part time job and my time there with my boss was awful so i'm a bit weary of taking another one tbh, but I do believe that you are right but as I said before I do believe I am compromising myself so i'm gonna focus on my self. Thanks

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    Immerse yourself in your studies and a few key activities that you enjoy and feel comfortable attending solo. Friendships may well come to you via doing the stuff you enjoy. Radiating happiness attracts others. Try and engage in activity that makes you happy.
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    (Original post by CCC75)
    Immerse yourself in your studies and a few key activities that you enjoy and feel comfortable attending solo. Friendships may well come to you via doing the stuff you enjoy. Radiating happiness attracts others. Try and engage in activity that makes you happy.
    What do you mean 'immerse' though?

    Thanks for your answers however

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    (Original post by BB1523)
    What do you mean 'immerse' though?

    Thanks for your answers however

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    I use 'immerse' to mean to 'divert all of your attention to' studying and doing whatever activities make you happier.
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    (Original post by CCC75)
    I use 'immerse' to mean to 'divert all of your attention to' studying and doing whatever activities make you happier.
    Yea I want to try to do that, I need to find enjoyment in things, it seems like people ruin it for me but I am focused, I promised myself to be balanced and levelled

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    It's a very important life skill to learn how to be in control of your own happiness. Do not look to anyone else to make you happy. It's a lot of responsibility for the other person and leaves you vulnerable to circumstances beyond your control.

    Not everyone achieves it, but it is an important personal development nevertheless.
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    (Original post by CCC75)
    It's a very important life skill to learn how to be in control of your own happiness. Do not look to anyone else to make you happy. It's a lot of responsibility for the other person and leaves you vulnerable to circumstances beyond your control.

    Not everyone achieves it, but it is an important personal development nevertheless.
    I know, I think I've reached the point now, like when you get pushed so far you get numb to it and you start realising that people are going to have opinions about you regardless - so i've used that mindset to just do what I have to do. Thanks for reaching out though.
 
 
 
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