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Missing college a day every other week. watch

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    I'm missing college for a day every other week because I can't wake up due to extreme fatigue. The act of going on a bus for 40 minutes, doing the college day and another 40 minute bus journey is slowly wearing me out and so every other day I miss college. I could walk to college but that takes an hour which I'm not prepared to do.

    I'm unsure how to solve this? I don't want to miss anymore days of college but I'm having to to catch on sleep. ( I sleep around 10-11 at night).

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    I'm unsure how walking will make you less tired than taking the bus?
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    (Original post by ILovePancakes)
    I'm unsure how walking will make you less tired than taking the bus?
    Sorry if I didn't explain it properly, tired.
    Walking an hour will make me extremely more tired than taking the bus as taking the bus is just sitting down and waiting.
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    If you're getting physically worn out, that isn't good. Speak to your senior tutor or form tutor and ask to have a late start, change your timetable?
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    It wouldn't help as there are no buses that go to college later in the day

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    Well missing a day once every two weeks means you'll have 90% attendance, which isn't bad (assuming you don't take any extra days of for illnesses etc).

    But of course the higher attendance the better. Try having earlier nights; but not just before the day you're skipping, but every night. Then, you'll set your body clock to sleep earlier and therefore provide the opportunity to sleep longer.

    If that's not for you for whatever reason, just really try to force yourself to go in, and then you'll perhaps get used to it and gradually get less and less tired.

    In any scenario, eating lots of healthy foods and less sugary drinks will help you sleep better - no coffee or energy drinks after 12pm.


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    (Original post by KingAuthor)
    I'm missing college for a day every other week because I can't wake up due to extreme fatigue. The act of going on a bus for 40 minutes, doing the college day and another 40 minute bus journey is slowly wearing me out and so every other day I miss college. I could walk to college but that takes an hour which I'm not prepared to do.

    I'm unsure how to solve this? I don't want to miss anymore days of college but I'm having to to catch on sleep. ( I sleep around 10-11 at night).

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    This is not normal for someone of your age, to be tired out by a bus journey lasting 40 minutes each way. If this is really so bad that you are missing every other day of college (your post is not clear) I would suggest that you visit your GP to discuss this. Attending every day should mean that you are able to fit in 10-11 hours sleep a night - unless of course you are doing other things that are (a) using up your time (b) sapping your energy levels unhelpfully.

    Walking to college would be very good for you, of course, even if it does take an hour.

    The bottom line here is that getting into the habit of missing days, whether one a fortnight or twice a week, is bad news. It will not reflect well when it comes to references for anything (not just uni applications) unless there is a medical reason to explain it. Which brings me back to my first point
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    One thing I found helped with bus journeys was podcasts. They mean I can kind of zone out of the fact that I'm stuck on a full bus and it's horrible. Makes the whole thing less tiring.
    If you have an iPhone, start with their built in podcasts app (it's not great, but it's there!) otherwise I recommend Pocket Casts.
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    This is my own personal issue. Only, I have insomnia too so I only get to sleep around 3-6am. I wake up at 7, leave for the bus at 7:45 then half an hour there after the bus finally turns up somewhere between 7:55 and 8:20.

    I have 2 days a week off college but it doesn't help because I spend those days worrying and wondering what I'm supposed to do, plus I have to do housework all day for my moody mother only to have her come home and still complain, then my little brother who shouts and screams all the time. I don't get a break. I have constant headaches and sometimes the stress makes me physically ill. My hair started falling out from it at one point! So, my days off aren't really days off at all. On a Wednesday I have a 3 hour lesson to start the day with only one 15 minute break somewhere in the first half of it. Then 3 hours of running around trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do. Then an hour and a half. Then bus home for half an hour. Even after college comes the housework though! I finish earlier on a Thursday. Instead of finishing at half 4 I finish at half 2. But the day is just more packed with work and stress. Then a Friday. Later start but I still wake up at 7 every day due to my screaming brother! He's 6... There's really no need for it any more.

    On a Saturday I see my boyfriend and I think he's getting a bit worried cause I'm always so exhausted. He barely ever sees me with energy any more. Then Sunday with more housework and stress off my mum.

    I also have depression and anxiety, the increasing stress level doesn't help and some days I just can't. I just lay there and I physically and mentally just can't for that day. I'm so exhausted that I finally get a bit more sleep but no less stress. Always being asked why I stayed off, no one believing my mental health issues, even though I've been to about 5 different doctors about it.

    The stress isn't easy. They say that now the average student has the same level of stress as a 1950's mental hospital patient. Sorry that this is so long. I just relate to the stress and exhaustion is all. Most of the time I'm almost falling asleep on the bus home. Don't know how to fix it though...
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    (Original post by KingAuthor)
    I'm unsure how to solve this? I don't want to miss anymore days of college but I'm having to to catch on sleep. ( I sleep around 10-11 at night).
    If you are sleeping 10-11 hours a night and are too tired to cope with what will be a fairly normal commute and working day after you have graduated then there is quite likely something wrong with your health. See a doctor, as suggested by Minerva, as soon as possible. You may have a problem with sleep apnoea or some other sleep disorder and you won't be able to move forward or study well until it is treated.
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    (Original post by Katie_Melling)
    This is my own personal issue. Only, I have insomnia too so I only get to sleep around 3-6am. I wake up at 7, leave for the bus at 7:45 then half an hour there after the bus finally turns up somewhere between 7:55 and 8:20.

    I have 2 days a week off college but it doesn't help because I spend those days worrying and wondering what I'm supposed to do, plus I have to do housework all day for my moody mother only to have her come home and still complain, then my little brother who shouts and screams all the time. I don't get a break. I have constant headaches and sometimes the stress makes me physically ill. My hair started falling out from it at one point! So, my days off aren't really days off at all. On a Wednesday I have a 3 hour lesson to start the day with only one 15 minute break somewhere in the first half of it. Then 3 hours of running around trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do. Then an hour and a half. Then bus home for half an hour. Even after college comes the housework though! I finish earlier on a Thursday. Instead of finishing at half 4 I finish at half 2. But the day is just more packed with work and stress. Then a Friday. Later start but I still wake up at 7 every day due to my screaming brother! He's 6... There's really no need for it any more.

    On a Saturday I see my boyfriend and I think he's getting a bit worried cause I'm always so exhausted. He barely ever sees me with energy any more. Then Sunday with more housework and stress off my mum.

    I also have depression and anxiety, the increasing stress level doesn't help and some days I just can't. I just lay there and I physically and mentally just can't for that day. I'm so exhausted that I finally get a bit more sleep but no less stress. Always being asked why I stayed off, no one believing my mental health issues, even though I've been to about 5 different doctors about it.

    The stress isn't easy. They say that now the average student has the same level of stress as a 1950's mental hospital patient. Sorry that this is so long. I just relate to the stress and exhaustion is all. Most of the time I'm almost falling asleep on the bus home. Don't know how to fix it though...
    I'd be very interested to know the source for this statement, as I rather doubt it's true. This isn't to deny the stress and anxiety you're feeling at the moment, just that the two situations are impossible to compare in a meaningful way.

    What comes across in your post particularly is anxiety about 'what I'm supposed to do" when you don't have a specific timetable, and also that you are using up a lot of energy on this. Now that you are at college, you are being expected to manage more for yourself, rather than have detailed instructions and guidance about how to manage your studies within your day-to-day life. It is normal to feel unconfident about this to begin with, but it is something you have to get to grips with if you are study successfully and - in due course - manage in the workplace. So this is an area you need to get help with sooner rather than later. If your college has a student welfare team, I would suggest starting with them. If not, you need to have a conversation with whoever is assigned to provide you with pastoral support, and do it soon. The college is not going recognise a self-diagnosis of mental illness - you will need medical evidence for them to formally assess your support needs.

    I am struck by your statement 'I've been to about 5 different doctors" about your mental state, and the implication that they didn't take you seriously. What advice did they give you? Have you acted upon it? If your symptoms have changed recently, then you need to go and see your GP again, and do it soon.

    As for your home circumstances, it may be that your mother is 'difficult' - but it could also be that she is finding it really hard to get on your wavelength (in a good way!) at the moment. It may be that you are particularly sensitive to any comments she makes, and so interpret them as criticism when none is intended.
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    what time did you need to get up for your bus I was up at 6 or 5:10am for a 6:50 am bus and most years I was in 5 full days a week half a day on Wednesday and I held down a part time job and had exams try going to bed eairler
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    Go see your GP, we aren't medical professionals.
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    See your GP as that isn't what should be happening.
    You could have something wrong causing you to be run down, they may be able to sort you out with some sort of therapy to help you - mindfulness, sleep hygiene etc.

    Also, tell your tutor. They can make allowances for you while your GP is investigating.

    I hope you feel better soon.
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    (Original post by Minerva)
    I'd be very interested to know the source for this statement, as I rather doubt it's true. This isn't to deny the stress and anxiety you're feeling at the moment, just that the two situations are impossible to compare in a meaningful way.

    What comes across in your post particularly is anxiety about 'what I'm supposed to do" when you don't have a specific timetable, and also that you are using up a lot of energy on this. Now that you are at college, you are being expected to manage more for yourself, rather than have detailed instructions and guidance about how to manage your studies within your day-to-day life. It is normal to feel unconfident about this to begin with, but it is something you have to get to grips with if you are study successfully and - in due course - manage in the workplace. So this is an area you need to get help with sooner rather than later. If your college has a student welfare team, I would suggest starting with them. If not, you need to have a conversation with whoever is assigned to provide you with pastoral support, and do it soon. The college is not going recognise a self-diagnosis of mental illness - you will need medical evidence for them to formally assess your support needs.

    I am struck by your statement 'I've been to about 5 different doctors" about your mental state, and the implication that they didn't take you seriously. What advice did they give you? Have you acted upon it? If your symptoms have changed recently, then you need to go and see your GP again, and do it soon.

    As for your home circumstances, it may be that your mother is 'difficult' - but it could also be that she is finding it really hard to get on your wavelength (in a good way!) at the moment. It may be that you are particularly sensitive to any comments she makes, and so interpret them as criticism when none is intended.
    My issue with my time isn't that I'm not being given detailed instructions. It's that I'm not being given any instruction. I don't get given the brief like everyone else and my tutor ignores me. I got that information from hours of research into the stress of students. It is a proven fact that this is the amount of stress the average student experiences now. I have shown the college proof of diagnosis but they don't accept it because my mother says I'm lying, which is also the reason I've been to so many doctors, she just wants one of them to say that I'm being stupid and that I don't have anything wrong with me. This is the way she has always been and I doubt she'll change any time soon. Me and my mother have never gotten along, she hates me and I hate her. I'm the only one that ever gets screamed at about housework. She doesn't want to connect with me at all anymore because I'm doing what I want and not what she wanted to do. Plus there's my tutor who says I'm on the wrong course because I'm naturally more academic. And my other tutor who tells me to suck it up and get over it because depression isn't a thing. Your reply to mine hasn't helped my stress level today. It has been one of the worst Wedenesday's yet so thanks for helping me to de-stress! Really, brilliant job! Oh, did I forget to mention I have severe anger issues and no social skills? So yeah!
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    (Original post by Katie_Melling)
    My issue with my time isn't that I'm not being given detailed instructions. It's that I'm not being given any instruction. I don't get given the brief like everyone else and my tutor ignores me.
    If that is the case, then you have grounds for complaint against the college and you need to take it up with them.

    I got that information from hours of research into the stress of students. It is a proven fact that this is the amount of stress the average student experiences now.
    Yes, but whose research did you look at and who has proved it?

    I have shown the college proof of diagnosis but they don't accept it because my mother says I'm lying, which is also the reason I've been to so many doctors, she just wants one of them to say that I'm being stupid and that I don't have anything wrong with me. This is the way she has always been and I doubt she'll change any time soon. Me and my mother have never gotten along, she hates me and I hate her. I'm the only one that ever gets screamed at about housework. She doesn't want to connect with me at all anymore because I'm doing what I want and not what she wanted to do.
    Again, the college needs to explain itself if this is the approach they are taking. If you do have documented medical evidence of a diagnosis relevant to the circumstances they should accept that.

    As for your relationship with your mother, I doubt if it's any more satisfactory for her than it is for you. Perhaps you could both do with some help in cutting each other some slack.

    Plus there's my tutor who says I'm on the wrong course because I'm naturally more academic. And my other tutor who tells me to suck it up and get over it because depression isn't a thing.
    Only you can decide whether you are on the right course for you, but clearly advice from your tutor is relevant and worth taking into account. Just because you are 'naturally more academic' does not of itself mean that the course you are currently doing is wrong for you - it depends what your interests and aspirations are. As for the tutor who doesn't appear to be taking your depression seriously, what is it you are expecting him or her to do differently? Were you annoyed because s/he didn't give you what you wanted? While the college can and should make appropriate adjustments in the light of any formal diagnosis you have, the fact remains that you still have to do the work and complete it in line with the college's requirements. Nobody is going to just give you a qualification that you have done too little work to earn.

    Your reply to mine hasn't helped my stress level today. It has been one of the worst Wedenesday's yet so thanks for helping me to de-stress! Really, brilliant job! Oh, did I forget to mention I have severe anger issues and no social skills? So yeah!
    So it would seem - and only you can deal with them, with help of course. You can hardly blame others for reacting badly to your behaviour if you won't accept any responsibility for it.

    My reply to your original post was carefully considered and I hoped constructive. I can't see how it can possibly have added to your stress - except perhaps that I wasn't giving you the unconditional sympathy you expected.
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    (Original post by Minerva)
    If that is the case, then you have grounds for complaint against the college and you need to take it up with them.

    Yes, but whose research did you look at and who has proved it?

    Again, the college needs to explain itself if this is the approach they are taking. If you do have documented medical evidence of a diagnosis relevant to the circumstances they should accept that.

    As for your relationship with your mother, I doubt if it's any more satisfactory for her than it is for you. Perhaps you could both do with some help in cutting each other some slack.

    Only you can decide whether you are on the right course for you, but clearly advice from your tutor is relevant and worth taking into account. Just because you are 'naturally more academic' does not of itself mean that the course you are currently doing is wrong for you - it depends what your interests and aspirations are. As for the tutor who doesn't appear to be taking your depression seriously, what is it you are expecting him or her to do differently? Were you annoyed because s/he didn't give you what you wanted? While the college can and should make appropriate adjustments in the light of any formal diagnosis you have, the fact remains that you still have to do the work and complete it in line with the college's requirements. Nobody is going to just give you a qualification that you have done too little work to earn.

    So it would seem - and only you can deal with them, with help of course. You can hardly blame others for reacting badly to your behaviour if you won't accept any responsibility for it.

    My reply to your original post was carefully considered and I hoped constructive. I can't see how it can possibly have added to your stress - except perhaps that I wasn't giving you the unconditional sympathy you expected.
    I've heard that 'fact' about mental patients before and I think it's nonsense, how are we supposed to quantify stress levels of patients from 60 years ago? Plus I find it quite insulting for someone who is stressed with uni to equate that with someone was likely unwillingly institutionalised. I'd be very interested to read the paper that these findings were published in.


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    I don't want sympathy from anyone. I ignore my mother 90% of the time.

    You are suggesting I don't do the work. I do. I just expect a little more slack to be given when I'm breaking down. Plus, my other tutor has depression. Yet he doesn't help at all.
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    I really don't understand why I'm being targeted. All I did was say that I can relate to this persons stress!

    And any facts that I use are true. I do the research. Though I may not remember exactly what it said (since it might have been a while ago) I know that I did it!
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    (Original post by Odd socks)
    I've heard that 'fact' about mental patients before and I think it's nonsense, how are we supposed to quantify stress levels of patients from 60 years ago? Plus I find it quite insulting for someone who is stressed with uni to equate that with someone was likely unwillingly institutionalised. I'd be very interested to read the paper that these findings were published in.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I'm unwillingly in college. Who's to say my stress level isn't the same as theirs?
 
 
 
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