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If you could write your personal statement totally honestly, what would you say? watch

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    A comment on this Telegraph article made me giggle.

    Name:  PSlol.png
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    Thought everyone in the middle of writing their PS might want to let off steam by posting an 'honest' version in this thread :teehee: Or, if you could get away with writing whatever you wanted, what would you put?

    :dumbells:
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    "We both know why I want this. We both know that everyone says the same sort of stuff in their PS. We both know I've read the books, got the work experience, should get decent grades and that your university is the best at whatever it is that I want to do. So just click 'accept' and I'll save you the time of reading yet another bland generic PS and we can both get on with having a great day :-) "
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    I am a total weirdo. I have no idea of what I want to be in life but I know I want to be rich and help people. Mostly male victims of rape and abuse. I have no passion for anything. How do you expect me to have a set career I want to go for. I am still young. There is still time for me to figure out what I want to be. Stop pressuring me. The institution still expects me to ask the teacher for permission to use the toilet, expect me to be PC, didn't teach me to think but somehow I am supposed to know what I want to be in life. Well this is what I want to be: happy, at peace and content. I have no passion relating to what I am applying for: Computer science. All I know is that I saw it as a fast track to money
    I want to marry a well to do man who may or may not have had a rough start in life. I want to travel. I like to eat a lot. I want to make at least two life long friends(preferably male and female) Did I mention I wish I could marry jack frost or killua. I really like talking to myself and making up different stories in my head. I wish I could turn my love of reading interesting novels into a profession. Did I mention I would love to be an international spy. Or become a modern day robin hood and steal from the rich, keep 70% of loot for myself and give the rest to the poor.
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    I was also a prefect in 6th form. I didn't really do anything useful as a prefect, and had no opportunities to develop my 'leadership skills' or whatever, but I occasionally got a free lunch so I guess it was worth it?
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    I want to be a stripper after graduating
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    It was a while ago, but mine would now read " I have just wasted the sixth form studying science A levels as I thought I wanted to be a doctor when I was 8 because it impressed people. I have hated every second and now I don't want to be a doctor my physics teacher won't talk to me. I understand I can do a philosophy degree with science A levels, and the word philosophy seems to impress people. I have no more interest in philosophy than I do science but I can't think of anything else to do. I want to go to university because it means I can leave home and escape my far too serious boyfriend who will only take 6 months of turning up unannounced to realise it is over.Please let me come and spend three years avoiding doing anything responsible ( in fact make that 5 by the time I have finished law school etc). "

    I wonder if it would have worked.................
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    I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. Not for tuition fees anyway. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. So please accept me into <insert your uni here>.
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    (Original post by rhiannon277)
    I wonder if it would have worked.................
    Wow,. I hope it's all worked out for you...? :hugs:
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    I've long since graduated from university, however, back when I was writing it something along the lines of:

    I don't know what I want to be therefore, I don't know exactly what it is I want to study. How can one truly know what they want to study without being in the midst of studying it? A levels are not a preparation for knowing what you wish to study at university due to the nature of learning to pass exams by exam boards who hire markers en masse that simply do not understand what they are marking. This is acceptable for subjects such as maths, physics etc. where there are simply yes/no questions for the most part.

    I enjoy thinking, and analysis, and that is why I have applied for subjects based on analysis. I enjoy writing, and articulating myself, that is why within those choices there is creative writing. Subjects that keep me up at night, that make me change how I perceive things are what interest me. I am a quick learner, however I cannot get high ucas points due to the poor nature of my memory, I cannot remember huge volumes of information. This is in part to the environment I have been in for 11 years, both at home and at school where I have been an oddball. My parents and my teachers don't understand me, and my peers don't want to know me. How could anyone be expected to thrive in such an environment? This has not detracted from my love of learning, only any joy being taught in the school I have had to endure.

    In my spare time I enjoy music, anime, exercise (but not sport, unless you like myself, include chess in that category) and martial arts. I enjoy reading, specifically trashy no good novels and philosophy (not in the same book).

    University isn't something I see as a place to study, nor is it a place I see to socialise, though of course both of those things will happen, I see it as a place where I can develop and mature into a person without undue influence from my co-dependent relationship with my mother, find out what I want from life, as opposed to what my father wants for me, and find the answers to the metaphysical contradictions I hinted at earlier on in my PS.

    In short: I want to learn how to think. I'm willing, able and wanting, you have the ability to, and one would hope enjoyment of, teaching. I would call that a good fit.
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    I was very curious at a very young age but not anymore!
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    (Original post by Puddles the Monkey)
    Wow,. I hope it's all worked out for you...? :hugs:
    Oh yes, it did. Although I turned out to have no more interest in law either. Lucky I happen to be good at exams. Had a fantastic 5 years but if I could go back I would do English. Still I don't have many friends whose jobs have anything to do with their degrees!
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    Exactly what it was that I said in my personal statement. Why would you make things up?

    EDIT: I see that a lot of people would have added a load of personal information into their PS. Talking about this stuff is "telling the truth", but I don't see why it is relevant for a PS.
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    (Original post by VannR)
    Exactly what it was that I said in my personal statement. Why would you make things up?

    EDIT: I see that a lot of people would have added a load of personal information into their PS. Talking about this stuff is "telling the truth", but I don't see why it is relevant for a PS.
    I created this thread for a bit of light humour, it's not meant to be serious :top:
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    Here's what mine would have been:

    Dear University,

    So it turns out the adult world is a cruel, horrifying and bleak environment which I've now worked out I am simply not ready for. Please allow me to crawl back into the womb of education for a further three years until I am fully gestated.
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    (Original post by Puddles the Monkey)
    I created this thread for a bit of light humour, it's not meant to be serious :top:
    Your cunning plan worked. :five: :giggle:

    I always long to be able to write lots of stuff in my CV (kind of a grown-up PS :teehee:) about how honestly I'm really nice when you get to know me, I don't upset people, I really try to do a good job, I'm honestly not motivated either by the salary or any other greed thing and how I really, really want your role because I love you and not because it would be a useful sounding thing to have on my CV, which really wasn't the case with the previous things on it. (breathless)

    But I don't. :sad:
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    (Original post by Fullofsurprises)
    Your cunning plan worked. :five: :giggle:

    I always long to be able to write lots of stuff in my CV (kind of a grown-up PS :teehee:) about how honestly I'm really nice when you get to know me, I don't upset people, I really try to do a good job, I'm honestly not motivated either by the salary or any other greed thing and how I really, really want your role because I love you and not because it would be a useful sounding thing to have on my CV, which really wasn't the case with the previous things on it. (breathless)

    But I don't. :sad:
    Writing CVs/job applications is the worst :hide: I feel your pain :hugs:

    Companies always use loads of jargon as well on their job descriptions that I usually have no idea what they're on about.

    "Please give me the job, I need money and I possibly won't be completely **** at it :argh:"
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    I've long since graduated from university, however, back when I was writing it something along the lines of:

    I don't know what I want to be therefore, I don't know exactly what it is I want to study. How can one truly know what they want to study without being in the midst of studying it? A levels are not a preparation for knowing what you wish to study at university due to the nature of learning to pass exams by exam boards who hire markers en masse that simply do not understand what they are marking. This is acceptable for subjects such as maths, physics etc. where there are simply yes/no questions for the most part.

    I enjoy thinking, and analysis, and that is why I have applied for subjects based on analysis. I enjoy writing, and articulating myself, that is why within those choices there is creative writing. Subjects that keep me up at night, that make me change how I perceive things are what interest me. I am a quick learner, however I cannot get high ucas points due to the poor nature of my memory, I cannot remember huge volumes of information. This is in part to the environment I have been in for 11 years, both at home and at school where I have been an oddball. My parents and my teachers don't understand me, and my peers don't want to know me. How could anyone be expected to thrive in such an environment? This has not detracted from my love of learning, only any joy being taught in the school I have had to endure.

    In my spare time I enjoy music, anime, exercise (but not sport, unless you like myself, include chess in that category) and martial arts. I enjoy reading, specifically trashy no good novels and philosophy (not in the same book).

    University isn't something I see as a place to study, nor is it a place I see to socialise, though of course both of those things will happen, I see it as a place where I can develop and mature into a person without undue influence from my co-dependent relationship with my mother, find out what I want from life, as opposed to what my father wants for me, and find the answers to the metaphysical contradictions I hinted at earlier on in my PS.

    In short: I want to learn how to think. I'm willing, able and wanting, you have the ability to, and one would hope enjoyment of, teaching. I would call that a good fit.
    Make sure not to include that part, you would be in a great danger!
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    (Original post by Mehrdad jafari)
    Make sure not to include that part, you would be in a great danger!
    On the contrary, that's exactly what they taught us to do, and that's exactly what I wanted them to teach me when I went to uni.

    What else would they teach on a philosophy course?
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    Even though you probably want to see why I am fascinated with the subject I am applying for, the truth is that I honestly don't care about it that much, and I'm only applying to do it because I'm good at it, and don't know what else to do.
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    Hi, I'm an ********, already been to uni, don't particularly want to go again, what is this **** about £9000 per year, if you give me an offer I'll say no.
 
 
 
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