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Pushing people away watch

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    I was with someone a few years back, and when it ended i didn't just lose his friendship but the rest of our friendship group as well (I made the decision to remove myself).

    I have been single since and while I acknowledge it's mainly due to how much I was hurt by that situation, it was also because I have had a lot of other things going on mainly in terms of my health.

    It' got to a point where I am known by everyone at uni to bat away all guys who approach me. I have reached a point where I'd love to get back in the dating scene/have guy friends and I've only longed the process out of fear. I feel awkward even talking about boys with my friends as I have avoided it for all these years, and many of the great friends I have in my life now have only seen the anti-boy side of me.

    I don't know how to 'change'. I self sabotage when I talk to guys just because it's something I used to get out of situations and now it's become a reflex. A lot of my friends are in serious/mature relationships and are moving forward with their lives (graduating/jobs/engagement) and it's something I also want to move towards instead of holding onto angst towards a boy from my teens.

    How do I get out of this cycle? And how do I get my friends to not freak out by this sudden change? WHAT IS THE FIRST STEPPP
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    Join a sports club or society.
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    I just found out about this band's song and I know exactly how you feel.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBr8Zt2eS9o
 
 
 
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