No Contact Rule - has anyone ever tried?

Hey everyone,

I am in a desperate mood dealing with my recent break up on last weekend.

I have asked quite a bit friends and searched quite a bit on the internet and even just here, I am advised strongly to initiate a no contact period with him.

I just wonder - does this work? Have any one ever tried and can you tell me what the result was like when you reinitiated conversation afterwards? Did it turn out good or just made your life worse?

I tried dating others as a way to replace my current feeling, yet I could not gain the feeling that I had at the moment when I dated my ex.

I am now still in contact, although infrequent, with him. Should I initiate NC period by just simple as blocking him on my whatsapp?

Reply 1

Friar Chris

19

Original post by Anonymous

my recent break up on last weekend....

...I tried dating others as a way to replace my current feeling

Jesus, you didn't waste any time :lol:

Reply 2

Chicken.M.

20

I would never do that without informing the other person first because its mega selfish and inconsiderate. Would only do it for my own safety if the other person was a psycho.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Friar Chris

Jesus, you didn't waste any time :lol:

haha I didn't actually mean to find anyone else yet just to replace my feeling xD

probably found another one accidentally yet I knew the chance was so low

Reply 4

DanB1991

17

Tbh contact is the worst thing you can do, if you're not over it, the very fact they're talking to you can be a false glimmer of hope etc.

I have and have not done it, it actually felt far worse not doing it.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by DanB1991

Tbh contact is the worst thing you can do, if you're not over it, the very fact they're talking to you can be a false glimmer of hope etc.

I have and have not done it, it actually felt far worse not doing it.

Thanks, and one more thing... hope you can answer

Should I throw away everything that he didn't pick up and remains at my place... for the sake of not falling into that nostalgia again?

Reply 6

DanB1991

17

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks, and one more thing... hope you can answer

Should I throw away everything that he didn't pick up and remains at my place... for the sake of not falling into that nostalgia again?

Well it depends, I have a picture of me and my ex in the tardis at the Dr Who 50th thing.... now while I'm not with her I can't throw out a f'ing picture of me in the tardis!!!!

Stuff she brought me...... well I quite like the majority of it.... stuff she left behind, well I like the T-shirt etc.

Also seeing it was at the weekend he may still want the stuff and come pack to pick them up.... no worse drama tbh if you threw them out, plus potential lawsuit (very worse case scenario lol).

But if it's something you really don't want or use etc, put it in a plastic bag and hide it away where you can't see it. After a month or two chuck it.

Though the weirdest 'kind' of related issue I had is my ex used to leave me love notes in my wallet, books, computer etc. Around 3 months after breaking up and finding out she had been knocking off another fella, I was in a lecture, opened my new notebook which I had purchased prior to the end of the previous university year, only to find on the first page that was one giant love note she had obvious written 3-4 months earlier. I actually broke down in the lecture like a right old sop :laugh:

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 7

Chicken.M.

20

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks, and one more thing... hope you can answer

Should I throw away everything that he didn't pick up and remains at my place... for the sake of not falling into that nostalgia again?

Destroying his property? Lol. This is why i make sure the girls im seeinf arent these type of people before it gets serious. Would not wife anyone i suspect of beig capable of things like that. Smh.

You cant destroy his things without his permission.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ChickenMadness

You cant destroy his things without his permission.

Good. I shall take this point seriously.

Reply 9

Zarek

21

It's what ever helps you best to move on. You do have to come to terms with your future lying elsewhere. I prefer good terms with exes as otherwise what went before seems like a hell of a waste.

Reply 10

username917703

17

Original post by ChickenMadness

I would never do that without informing the other person first because its mega selfish and inconsiderate.

no it isn't selfish or inconsiderate at all. It depends on how things ended and who did the dumping. Going by this:

I am in a desperate mood dealing with my recent break up

I tried dating others as a way to replace my current feeling

It doesn't sound like they were the one to end things. Assuming it was their boyfriend, they don't owe him anything, they should be focusing on themselves and recovering.

OP, the whole point of no contact is that you don't contact them again. It's supposed to help you move on. If you want to get over them and move on with your life then it is the way to go.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 11

dipjolt

3

Wish I could help but I have never been in a relationship so I don't know the feeling but I think not talking to him could be worse on you. if I was in your position I would slowly start to less frequently talk to him limit social media with him instead with one or Do something that would make you busy and forget about him as it was recently it hard to forget. I don't really know how you feel but I hope you feel better and good things come your way!

Reply 12

GingerJoe

11

I've was the breakee and I have been nc for 7 weeks. I feel rubbish, but I'm in love :/

We texted briefly after but it was too soon so things weren't overly nice.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 13

Tiger Rag

22

Yes. But I had to block his number because he couldn't understand why I wanted no contact.

Reply 14

ZuluK

17

Tbh depends on why you broke up. If he broke up with you then it's understandable you would want some time apart. If you broke up with him, then talk to him about it.

Communicate what you're guna do then no contact. For me that's always helped to get my thoughts together :smile:

Reply 15

silverbolt

19

myself and my ex have pretty much stopped talking, she has me blocked on facebook and we dont message each other. If she needs that space thats down to her.

But not having conact does mean that you can move on quicker with life and it stops being able to check up on them every five minutes

Reply 16

ForgettingWhatsername

11

It's the only thing that works for me tbh, sad but true. A few times I fooled myself into thinking I could be friends with them straight away and it always ended messily.

Reply 17

username944192

21

Original post by Anonymous

Hey everyone,

I am in a desperate mood dealing with my recent break up on last weekend.

I have asked quite a bit friends and searched quite a bit on the internet and even just here, I am advised strongly to initiate a no contact period with him.

I just wonder - does this work? Have any one ever tried and can you tell me what the result was like when you reinitiated conversation afterwards? Did it turn out good or just made your life worse?

I tried dating others as a way to replace my current feeling, yet I could not gain the feeling that I had at the moment when I dated my ex.

I am now still in contact, although infrequent, with him. Should I initiate NC period by just simple as blocking him on my whatsapp?

Did you break up with them or did they break up with you?

If you broke up with them: it can look harsh if you don't contact them but I think it's best because it stops you from leading them on. It can be hard not to lapse back into speaking to them in the same manner you did when in a relationship which can cause tension.

If they broke up with you: again no contact is for the best for a while because you don't want to feel like they're leading you on, they may only be speaking to you because they feel bad but it can be awkward and just not good.

It all depends on your relationship though, if you were friends before and the relationship was short you might be able to just be friends again. But in most cases I think it's best to have a no contact period at least for a while to let the dust settle and then if you both want, you can be friends later. I am friends with most of my exes now but they're the kind of 'friends' you only speak to once or twice a year just to see how they're getting on - it's easy to mistake 'staying friends' with 'acting like we're in a relationship still' and that doesn't help either of you

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by infairverona

Did you break up with them or did they break up with you?

If you broke up with them: it can look harsh if you don't contact them but I think it's best because it stops you from leading them on. It can be hard not to lapse back into speaking to them in the same manner you did when in a relationship which can cause tension.

If they broke up with you: again no contact is for the best for a while because you don't want to feel like they're leading you on, they may only be speaking to you because they feel bad but it can be awkward and just not good.

It all depends on your relationship though, if you were friends before and the relationship was short you might be able to just be friends again. But in most cases I think it's best to have a no contact period at least for a while to let the dust settle and then if you both want, you can be friends later. I am friends with most of my exes now but they're the kind of 'friends' you only speak to once or twice a year just to see how they're getting on - it's easy to mistake 'staying friends' with 'acting like we're in a relationship still' and that doesn't help either of you

This is such a great reply that I can't appreciate more.

So yeah actually he broke up with me and I am feeling like deeply dead. Well since it has been a few days, at least now I am feeling a bit better cuz all you guys are helping me out :P
I started not to reply to him by gradually shortening my whatsapp msg... and now it has been a whole day that he did not send me anything back. I wish this can be the initiation of no contact yet I am not so determined cuz I feel I really want to talk sth with him. Well I know I can't.

He said we could befriend later on, however, I just find I can't treat him merely as a friend, at this moment at least. Hope it works well in the future ... yet i am still super confused D:

But anyway ta for your help :')

Reply 19

Kevin De Bruyne

21

Original post by Anonymous

x

There's no pressure to go back to being friends ever again. RIght now you may want to because you want to somehow be a part of his life and think that you can't live without him but after a while of no contact you'll feel a lot better. You can block him, get rid of anything that reminds you of him etc so the temptation isn't there to hang on and hey presto.

I've been going no contact with someone for 6 months now and I'm never going back. Life is back to normal and I am happy.

No Contact Rule - has anyone ever tried?

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