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For Females Only: Do females engage in 'banter'? watch

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    I posted a thread yesterday about banter and how my threshold for it is quite low because I do not appreciate being insulted 24/7.

    I was wondering if any females on here engage in banter with their female friends and/or their male friends.

    It seems like females insulting each other for a laugh doesn't happen.

    My specific grievance with banter is that the person insulting me is trying to target issues that could be a problem for me for example my weigh, height or whatever. I can confidently say that I am insecure about a very small amount of life issues so if a friend says oh you're getting fat. You need to get the the gym fatboy or put down that cake fat boy or something like that. I am confident enough to realize the reality of my situation so if I feel like I am an alright size nothing can sway my position on that other than my own reasoning. However, if I say stop making these jokes. You're taking it too far...I get accused of being insecure eventhough I'm fine with my size. Do you catch my drift? lol.

    So does this happen with females? Do you ladies ridicule each other and shrug it off as banter? Do you value banter as a valid source of humour? Do you ever engage in it? Do you have examples? Would you feel disrespected or insulted if someone tried to upset on purpose for a laugh?

    P.S I think that females doing it would be considered as bullying faster than if guys are doing it. A scene from mean girls comes to mind. Does this mean that banter is one of those double standards where guys can't have emotions? Be a man. Take the insult like a man. Don't moan about it. Dish it out.
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    I banter a lot with men, and I think that's why part of why I get on so much better with men than women - it's my default conversational mode, and like you say, most women perceive what would be banter with a man as being *****y and insulting with a woman.
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    Understand why there is a lack of female comedians, and the answer becomes clear...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I posted a thread yesterday about banter and how my threshold for it is quite low because I do not appreciate being insulted 24/7.

    I was wondering if any females on here engage in banter with their female friends and/or their male friends.

    It seems like females insulting each other for a laugh doesn't happen.

    My specific grievance with banter is that the person insulting me is trying to target issues that could be a problem for me for example my weigh, height or whatever. I can confidently say that I am insecure about a very small amount of life issues so if a friend says oh you're getting fat. You need to get the the gym fatboy or put down that cake fat boy or something like that. I am confident enough to realize the reality of my situation so if I feel like I am an alright size nothing can sway my position on that other than my own reasoning. However, if I say stop making these jokes. You're taking it too far...I get accused of being insecure eventhough I'm fine with my size. Do you catch my drift? lol.

    So does this happen with females? Do you ladies ridicule each other and shrug it off as banter? Do you value banter as a valid source of humour? Do you ever engage in it? Do you have examples? Would you feel disrespected or insulted if someone tried to upset on purpose for a laugh?

    P.S I think that females doing it would be considered as bullying faster than if guys are doing it. A scene from mean girls comes to mind. Does this mean that banter is one of those double standards where guys can't have emotions? Be a man. Take the insult like a man. Don't moan about it. Dish it out.
    Yes. We do joke about our clitori.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I posted a thread yesterday about banter and how my threshold for it is quite low because I do not appreciate being insulted 24/7.

    I was wondering if any females on here engage in banter with their female friends and/or their male friends.

    It seems like females insulting each other for a laugh doesn't happen.

    My specific grievance with banter is that the person insulting me is trying to target issues that could be a problem for me for example my weigh, height or whatever. I can confidently say that I am insecure about a very small amount of life issues so if a friend says oh you're getting fat. You need to get the the gym fatboy or put down that cake fat boy or something like that. I am confident enough to realize the reality of my situation so if I feel like I am an alright size nothing can sway my position on that other than my own reasoning. However, if I say stop making these jokes. You're taking it too far...I get accused of being insecure eventhough I'm fine with my size. Do you catch my drift? lol.

    So does this happen with females? Do you ladies ridicule each other and shrug it off as banter? Do you value banter as a valid source of humour? Do you ever engage in it? Do you have examples? Would you feel disrespected or insulted if someone tried to upset on purpose for a laugh?

    P.S I think that females doing it would be considered as bullying faster than if guys are doing it. A scene from mean girls comes to mind. Does this mean that banter is one of those double standards where guys can't have emotions? Be a man. Take the insult like a man. Don't moan about it. Dish it out.
    I've only ever met one woman who would joke with me like that, I remember me her and another mate were sharing a hostel once and we made the 3rd girl wince with embarrassment with our 'banter' (basically extremely crude and slightly insulting humour). Damn I miss her.

    Generally women I meet pull a face when I crack a dirty joke. And I wonder why I don't have girly mates.

    PS. Yes sometimes people don't know when to stop with jokes and take it too far under the guise of 'oh it's just a joke' even when it's not funny in the slightest and just awkward. Tiring isn't it?

    PPS. Does the word banter make anyone else cringe a bit?
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    I don't mind who it's with. Me and my friends have the best banter. We do tease each other and we do shrug it off because we know that it's just messing around. sometimes it can get a bit serious but we stop it before it can escalate too much. If it does get serious it's easily noticed but that doesn't happen too much.

    I don't know much about other schools but in my old school and sixth form no ones out to get you it's just to have a laugh. I think as long as you are confident about yourself then you can take it and dish it out.

    But if you're not confident then don't dish it out because what goes around, comes around and you have to be able to take it. :P
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    (Original post by black_mamba)
    I've only ever met one woman who would joke with me like that, I remember me her and another mate were sharing a hostel once and we made the 3rd girl wince with embarrassment with our 'banter' (basically extremely crude and slightly insulting humour). Damn I miss her.

    Generally women I meet pull a face when I crack a dirty joke. And I wonder why I don't have girly mates.

    PS. Yes sometimes people don't know when to stop with jokes and take it too far under the guise of 'oh it's just a joke' even when it's not funny in the slightest and just awkward. Tiring isn't it?

    PPS. Does the word banter make anyone else cringe a bit?
    Could you give me an example of what you'd say?

    The type of banter i'm referring to is insults. Something said to you to purposely offend you. lol the funny thing is if close friends do it it's worse because they know more personal stuff about you and they should know what you have issues with and what you don't.
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    I find some female groups do have banter and some don't. I think there tends to be more banter with men or mixed groups.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Could you give me an example of what you'd say?

    The type of banter i'm referring to is insults. Something said to you to purposely offend you. lol the funny thing is if close friends do it it's worse because they know more personal stuff about you and they should know what you have issues with and what you don't.
    By your definition of banter, the female equivalent would probably be "throwing shade," which was a term popularised by gay people in the film Paris is Burning and more recently in the TV series Rupaul's Drag Race.
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    (Original post by Bupdeeboowah)
    By your definition of banter, the female equivalent would probably be "throwing shade," which was a term popularised by gay people in the film Paris is Burning and more recently in the TV series Rupaul's Drag Race.
    Not really. Throwing shade is a way of showing your disapproval of something someone did. You actually want to criticize them. Banter is an insult for the sake of laughing. Not because someone has done you wrong. 'shade is thrown' when you don't like the person. Banter insults are used when you like the person. What kind of paradox is that?
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    I call all my friends *****es??? I insult them all the time!!!!!!!! we are the most banterus gender, we bring sass to banter
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    Most of my female friends are the type to get offended if I bantered with them, so unfortunately I have to suppress it.
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    I’m the perfect guy, and yet you throw yourselves at all these obnoxious men, instead of me, the supreme gentleman.
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    I always engage in the bants with my m8s and then we go for a cheeky Nandos after cos my mate Penny is such a ladette.
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    Talibanter with the gals.
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    no i don't bantaaaaa, but i do like Fanta
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    I'm a female and me and my female friends do engage in banter, but we just avoid making jokes out of something each of us are sensitive about E.g. intelligence, looks and weight.
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    bare boob banta gwarns with me n ma m8s
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    Yeah I'm a girl and me and my mates have a lot of banter (but I know a lot of girls that cant always take jokes lightheartedly). I guess it depends, I get on pretty well with guys cos I'll join in on banter and my closest girl mates can take it to. I know guys who cant take jokes, though. It's pretty much just a matter of understanding and sharing humour innit


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    yep top quality banter
    except it isn't usually insulting a specific thing
    more generally like "your face" or "your life" or whatever
    where it's clearly just banter
 
 
 
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