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Made a drunken mistake do I tell my bf? watch

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    #1

    I was drunk the other night and stupidly kissed another boy, which I really regret now because I just wasn't thinking at the time. I recently moved away to uni so my boyfriend would only find out that I cheated if I told him. I feel like he should know but I don't want to break his heart, what should I do? It's the first and only time it'll happen and I really love him.
    • #2
    #2

    its just a kiss calm your tits its not like you let him **** you up the ass
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    Ignorance is bliss
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    Was no mistake was it
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    What he doesn't know can't hurt him. if it was me though, I'd tell the girl, but I probably wouldn't be drunk in the first place though lol
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    The amount of guys growing horns during freshers.
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    Nothing kills a relationship quite like Uni.

    Regret or not you're kissing guys already, may as well accept it won't last tbh. Don't tell him and move on, ignorance is bliss.
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    You should tell him so that he can make a decision for himself on what he wants to do. You'd want to know if he kissed another girl, wouldn't you?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was drunk the other night and stupidly kissed another boy, which I really regret now because I just wasn't thinking at the time. I recently moved away to uni so my boyfriend would only find out that I cheated if I told him. I feel like he should know but I don't want to break his heart, what should I do? It's the first and only time it'll happen and I really love him.
    You let it fester deep down in your heart, to be used only for emotional torment if you ever have an acrimonious breakup.
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    (Original post by So Instinct)
    Nothing kills a relationship quite like Uni.

    Regret or not you're kissing guys already, may as well accept it won't last tbh. Don't tell him and move on, ignorance is bliss.
    I'm agreeing with So Instinct here; University certainly does kill relationships. I know of a former work colleague, whom is engaged, who just moved away to study at uni. They've been engaged for a good four years, and seemed stable and very much in love. Unfortunately, and needless to say, there is rumour on the grapevine that she's 'playing away' getting up to no good! I guess when people are away or living apart it tests the waters.

    I very much feel that the problem is in the fact that OP seems to want to hide it. Sure, okay, you did wrong, you rightly so should feel guilty. But wouldn't you feel so much better to admit all and tell? We as humans have a conscience for a reason.

    I don't necessarily agree with the term 'ignorance is bliss' either. On the flip side, I'd like to think the OP would like to know had her boyfriend kissed a girl.

    I've also been in this very same situation and honestly, it bloody hurt. My current partner kissed somebody else, very very early on in the relationship.

    She confessed all the next day, was crying down the phone to me. I actually let it slip, I was very cross/mad (of course), though the fact she confessed to me the day after mitigated things a little.

    Sticking to the facts; you kissed another guy, whilst in a relationship.

    Okay, you didn't **** the guy, but nonetheless, romantic/sexual/or otherwise physical contact with another person. I'd chalk this up and kick yourself in toe, and think 'okay I've done bad; if I love my boyfriend I'd own up and try to relinquish any sense of guilt I feel (in the least)'. It really isn't in your remit to be able to control the outcome as to how he feels; that's ultimately his choice. Though if he is a decent bloke he will forgive. I did- and I don't regret it!

    I think you should tell him. Quite honestly.

    University is a life changing experience. Lots of hormonal/horny students all together in one big melting pot. Sure, its going to cause tension, breakdowns of relationships.

    It isn't that this has happened, its how you handle it from here on.

    How you handle it will dictate the outcome- trust me, I've been 'that guy' [the boyfriend].

    Show him you have the guts and pride to own up by telling him. Own your mistakes.

    If you hide it and he finds out, he will never forgive, and probably be doubly angry. He may even go after the guy and you. If I were him, and I discovered you'd lied, you would be dumped as quick as you can say it. Tell him asap and prevent damage now.

    If you decide you can't carry on with the relationship because of whatever reason- end it, but tell him why. He deserves it. Your always going to regret it- certainly in your later adult life. You will feel awful that you were too cowardice to admit if you don't.


    I'd like to think that you'd look back and think; oh god that lovely young guy I dated years ago- and I did that to him! Or perhaps this is my naivety of society. Certainly if my partner hadn't told me about her infidelity- I hope karma would catch up with her and make her feel bad.

    Admitting now, will prevent a possible lifetime of sorrow.

    Remember, honesty is best policy. Always.

    All the best with your decisions
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    I'm agreeing with So Instinct here; University certainly does kill relationships. I know of a former work colleague, whom is engaged, who just moved away to study at uni. They've been engaged for a good four years, and seemed stable and very much in love. Unfortunately, and needless to say, there is rumour on the grapevine that she's 'playing away' getting up to no good! I guess when people are away or living apart it tests the waters.

    I very much feel that the problem is in the fact that OP seems to want to hide it. Sure, okay, you did wrong, you rightly so should feel guilty. But wouldn't you feel so much better to admit all and tell? We as humans have a conscience for a reason.

    I don't necessarily agree with the term 'ignorance is bliss' either. On the flip side, I'd like to think the OP would like to know had her boyfriend kissed a girl.

    I've also been in this very same situation and honestly, it bloody hurt. My current partner kissed somebody else, very very early on in the relationship.

    She confessed all the next day, was crying down the phone to me. I actually let it slip, I was very cross/mad (of course), though the fact she confessed to me the day after mitigated things a little.

    Sticking to the facts; you kissed another guy, whilst in a relationship.

    Okay, you didn't **** the guy, but nonetheless, romantic/sexual/or otherwise physical contact with another person. I'd chalk this up and kick yourself in toe, and think 'okay I've done bad; if I love my boyfriend I'd own up and try to relinquish any sense of guilt I feel (in the least)'. It really isn't in your remit to be able to control the outcome as to how he feels; that's ultimately his choice. Though if he is a decent bloke he will forgive. I did- and I don't regret it!

    I think you should tell him. Quite honestly.

    University is a life changing experience. Lots of hormonal/horny students all together in one big melting pot. Sure, its going to cause tension, breakdowns of relationships.

    It isn't that this has happened, its how you handle it from here on.

    How you handle it will dictate the outcome- trust me, I've been 'that guy' [the boyfriend].

    Show him you have the guts and pride to own up by telling him. Own your mistakes.

    If you hide it and he finds out, he will never forgive, and probably be doubly angry. He may even go after the guy and you. If I were him, and I discovered you'd lied, you would be dumped as quick as you can say it. Tell him asap and prevent damage now.

    If you decide you can't carry on with the relationship because of whatever reason- end it, but tell him why. He deserves it. Your always going to regret it- certainly in your later adult life. You will feel awful that you were too cowardice to admit if you don't.


    I'd like to think that you'd look back and think; oh god that lovely young guy I dated years ago- and I did that to him! Or perhaps this is my naivety of society. Certainly if my partner hadn't told me about her infidelity- I hope karma would catch up with her and make her feel bad.

    Admitting now, will prevent a possible lifetime of sorrow.

    Remember, honesty is best policy. Always.

    All the best with your decisions
    • TSR Support Team
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    I can see why people say don't tell him what would you have to gain, my only argument here is what if it was him who kissed a girl, you gotta ask yourself how would you feel?
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    If you are serious about this relationship then you shouldn't keep secrets like that in my opinion.
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    Well there's one side where you feel real remorse and say you'd never do it again; and I believe in second chances. However, I feel like he has a right to know and make a decision based on the facts. Tell him what you did but also tell him you'll never do it again etc. What happens next is his choice. You shouldn't be surprised if he ends up dumping you over it though.
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    So sick of these threads. I'm sorry, but how difficult is it to know the basics of common decency. OF COURSE YOU ****ING TELL HIM! You can't just cheat, because lets face it, that's what you've done, drunk or not, and expect to get away with it. Own up, be a decent partner and admit your mistake. Then end it because uni's a relationship ender, especially if you're kissing guys this early on. Only a matter of time.

    This turned into a cold hearted rant, exactly what I didn't want, Threads like these really rile me up. Sorry OP, no offense or judgement meant.
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    You kissed him tbh, you didn't do anything *else* with the bloke ... it isn't the end of the world. But you should be honest about this kind of thing and tell him tbh...

    Otherwise this really is just a big mess.
 
 
 
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