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Am I shallow? Should I go for this guy? watch

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    There is a guy who's the same age as me, and I've known him for about a month now,
    I initially met him as I've been giving him language lessons, and I've got to know him a litle bit more.
    In terms of his personality, he is very sweet, funny, and intelligent, and we definitely get on well.
    He has made little hints that he finds me attractive and stuff, and he is single as far as I can see.
    However, I'm not sure to what point I find him physically attractive. It changes, sometimes I think he isn't bad-looking, and other times, I don't think he is particularly. I don't really look at him and think, wow, he's gorgeous.
    It's more that I like his personality so much, and I know looks are not as important.. but I find myself thinking, could I imagine being intimate with him?
    I feel like if I am questioning this, then it's not good. However, at the same time, I feel attracted to him and I want to see and talk to him all the time.
    My last boyfriend was considered very good-looking by a lot of people, and he didn't treat me well.
    I know this guy is very sweet, and there are attritubes that I find really attractive, like the way he speaks, his smile, his height, etc.
    Should I give it a chance? I am not saying I am some kind of supermodel, by any means, I just don't know if it matters too much that I don't find him really good-looking, as such.
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    If in doubt, give it a go. On balance personality and looks are both important and there are advantages in avoiding classic good looks.
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    Give it a go maybe... as the poster above said. Looks fade with time, personality only with dementia and other related diseases. Oh my.
    • #1
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    #1

    Thanks for the replies
    yeah, I mean I'm not expecting someone who's absolutely stunning, or something, I am just slightly concerned that sometimes I don't find him very good-looking..
    but when I am sat with him and we talk, I feel attracted to him and so happy to be in his company. And I have this feeling that I want to be with him as much as possible..
    I think I should give it a go, but to be honest, I'm not even 100% sure he would date me. He has said I'm attractive, and such, but sometimes he doesn't seem flirty, more friendly.
    I just don't want to mess him about, but I might suggest an actual date, rather than just me teaching him, which is what usually happens..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the replies
    yeah, I mean I'm not expecting someone who's absolutely stunning, or something, I am just slightly concerned that sometimes I don't find him very good-looking..
    but when I am sat with him and we talk, I feel attracted to him and so happy to be in his company. And I have this feeling that I want to be with him as much as possible..
    I think I should give it a go, but to be honest, I'm not even 100% sure he would date me. He has said I'm attractive, and such, but sometimes he doesn't seem flirty, more friendly.
    I just don't want to mess him about, but I might suggest an actual date, rather than just me teaching him, which is what usually happens..
    I would say if you're not feeling it, there's no point faking it or going out with him because you feel you'd be shallow otherwise. You need to be sexually attracted to someone in order to date them, and this is irrespective of other people's opinions of said person. If he does ask you out just be truthful, that you can't see yourself in a relationship with the guy but you do want to be friends with him.
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    (Original post by Danz123)
    I would say if you're not feeling it, there's no point faking it or going out with him because you feel you'd be shallow otherwise. You need to be sexually attracted to someone in order to date them, and this is irrespective of other people's opinions of said person. If he does ask you out just be truthful, that you can't see yourself in a relationship with the guy but you do want to be friends with him.
    dis
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    thanks, yes, you are right really... it's strange because I am definitely attracted to him.. there are other guys who I know I have no attraction to at all ,but I know that there is definitely something between me and him. And as I said, there are attributes of him that I find a turn-on. I have fancied many guys before who were 20 years older than me, or who were not considered typically good-looking, but I found them very attractive.
    I think I will just give it a little more time with this guy, and maybe try and spend time with him in a different context, and then see how it goes. But yeah, I shouldn't force it..
 
 
 
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