Hi guys, sorry if this is long and if you do read it all and offer some advice I'd really appreciate it.
I'm 23, male from a run down town everybody despises. I finished school at 16 with poor GCSE's and took up an apprenticeship (which I treated like goldust back then as my mom didn't want me going straight into a 'dead end job' which I completed in 2 years. However, 7 years on and I'm still in the same job, which, despite trying to sugar coat it back when I first joined, is the definition of a dead end job. My NVQ is as good as worthless. It's a carpet factory and it's 3 patterned shift work including nights. I believe over the 7 years it has help damage my lifestyle and health in 3 areas
1/ Social anxiety. Working 3 shifts and general unsociable hours has left me with lack of energy come the weekend to go out and do stuff. This has built up over time and got worse, now I hate leaving the house at all! Had I gone down the college/university path or worked in a workplace with people similar age to myself I believe I wouldn't be like I am today.
2/ Migraines. I suffer from migraines and after a recent trip to the doctors, finding out all of them have come on at work, it can only be work causing them. Stress, lighting, noise would have all contributed.
3/ Back in 2013 when I was 21 under circumstances out of my control I had to, along with my parents help, buy a place of my own. At the time, I would have snapped your hands off at the offer! My own flat? Getting on the property ladder at such a young age? Hell yeah! I could afford it with my salary so bring it on! However, 2 years on and I cannot stand it. I hate living on my own, I'd rather be with company, a crowd, just not on my own. Granted, I love a bit of me time now and then but this teamed up with my social anxiety is a killer.
I see my brother and a few friends in relationships with good looking girls, they have hobbies like Sunday morning football, they go on holidays, they do stuff. And everybody respects them. I feel like I'm the outcast, the kid who bought his place too early and hates it... learn to not make my mistakes. No hobbies except a little electronic drum kit I pretend I can play.
Every day I sit in and take a continuous cycle through social media waiting for something interesting to show up.
I'm tied down in this flat because I've got to keep paying the bills from a job I detest. I'm stuck in a rut.
Where do I go from here? Is selling this flat and trying to move back in with parents and finding another job my light at the end of a tunnel, because all I'll get in me ear will be 'but you're on the property ladder now'. Well, if I feel so **** for the rest of my life why is it worth it? I am 23 years old. I want to be like my older brother and some of my friends. I want to be respected and loved, go on holidays, have a hobby and most of all get rid of this horrible social anxiety bug that's trapped in my head.
I'm sorry for venting a load of BS but I really need some words off somebody. I'm currently off work for 2 weeks (heading into second week now) due to my migraines and stress at work. I want to use this second week as reevaluating my life and my choices...
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- Thread Starter
- 24-10-2015 19:53
- 26-10-2015 13:54
Only you can do it yourself. Don't dawdle around on the internet looking for attention. Sometimes you just have to take action. Harsh, but true. Your problems are all solveable. I recommend going to real life people for advice, instead of the internet. It's a bit of a trap, complaining about your problems on the internet. No one really cares about you on here! Unless they're your friends, of course. But people on here are strangers who don't know you and who don't really have your best interests at heart. So go talk to a real person, or you'll find yourself making the same or similar post on here in a years time with nothing to show for it.