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    I had a group of two girls who I was very close with and opened up to. We bonded on a dislike of a member in our class. One of the girls I have trusted since day 1 and have never really fought with, the other I had to grow to trust her but eventually opened up to her. We rarely spoke over summer break and when we got back in September, they seemed to have become friends with the girl they once disliked. I can't forgive the girl and she doesn't like me, so therefore I have been excluded from the group. I have found others to socialise with in class but haven't bonded with them. The girl whose trust I had to grow now seems to have a problem with me. And seems to want to take my friends away. I suffer from anxiety and are having panic attacks again.

    I feel like I've lost my friend from day 1!! I feel alone and upset!

    What do I do? Compromise my views and hang out with my with my old friends and become alone?

    HELP?
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    Why do you dislike the other girl?
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Why do you dislike the other girl?
    She is nosy, rude and quite in your face. If she doesn't get any answer she bullies you until you do. Also if you don't agree with her then your wrong. If your views are different to hers she has a problem with you. For the last year, she had bullied me and turned my friends against me.
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    I can only say just don't let her get to you. Move on and really try to connect with other people, if you feel pressured to change for a person you don't like then it isn't worth it.

    I'd advise you to wait for some better friends rather than bring yourself to compromise for that girl.
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    (Original post by JoshDawg)
    I can only say just don't let her get to you. Move on and really try to connect with other people, if you feel pressured to change for a person you don't like then it isn't worth it.

    I'd advise you to wait for some better friends rather than bring yourself to compromise for that girl.
    TBH a lot of people are saying that. Like you haven't met the right friends/people yet but when am I going to? I'm in my second year of a levels which is stressful enough. I don't need social issue too! It hard being in a class not belonging or feeling part of something? Or am I wrong?

    Should I change myself to fit in? Or risk being alone and the one everyone talk about?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    TBH a lot of people are saying that. Like you haven't met the right friends/people yet but when am I going to? I'm in my second year of a levels which is stressful enough. I don't need social issue too! It hard being in a class not belonging or feeling part of something? Or am I wrong?

    Should I change myself to fit in? Or risk being alone and the one everyone talk about?
    To be fair, I'd learned to be more alone since year 10 when my main group of friends drifted away into another, and I never went with them because I felt like I'd never fit in, and I didn't like 1 person in that group.

    I wish I had gone to join that group now, as the person I didn't like it turned out nobody in the group liked them either, and they were more of a tag-along. However even now some of the stuff they do isn't what I'd like, and I'd feel awkward in those situations. Your situation sounds slightly different though as your friends drifted towards them. Try keep a friendship with the girls you like but if they're dumping you for that person, you'd only hate yourself later on in life when you will never see that girl and you made so many compromises for her when you could have made better life-long friends!

    It can take time to make new friends, especially when other people have already made the friendship groups but if you put the effort into it, more often than not it pays off.
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    (Original post by JoshDawg)
    To be fair, I'd learned to be more alone since year 10 when my main group of friends drifted away into another, and I never went with them because I felt like I'd never fit in, and I didn't like 1 person in that group.

    I wish I had gone to join that group now, as the person I didn't like it turned out nobody in the group liked them either, and they were more of a tag-along. However even now some of the stuff they do isn't what I'd like, and I'd feel awkward in those situations. Your situation sounds slightly different though as your friends drifted towards them.
    *** Try keep a friendship with the girls you like but if they're dumping you for that person, you'd only hate yourself later on in life when you will never see that girl and you made so many compromises for her when you could have made better life-long friends!***

    It can take time to make new friends, especially when other people have already made the friendship groups but if you put the effort into it, more often than not it pays off.
    Thanks for the advice. Slightly confused over the *** part! (the part I asterisked)?
    Although, I don't want to go back to my old group just to be made to feel alone and isolated yet surrounded.? I don't know what to do, stay on my own or compromise my self? There are new girls that seem to like me, positive thinking, but don't want to burden them? I feel like I bother them? What do I do? 😥😩
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the advice. Slightly confused over the *** part! (the part I asterisked)?
    Although, I don't want to go back to my old group just to be made to feel alone and isolated yet surrounded.? I don't know what to do, stay on my own or compromise my self? There are new girls that seem to like me, positive thinking, but don't want to burden them? I feel like I bother them? What do I do? 😥😩
    The part you highlighted, I was basically saying, if you change yourself to fit in with the girl you don't like, you'll hate yourself later on in life for becoming a different person for a friendship that won't last.


    These new girls with a positive energy and thinking are definitely the ones you want to be hanging around with. What makes you feel like you're bothering them? I personally felt I was bothering my friends but that was completely made up in my own head, and I was kicking myself for not making more of an effort with them as they thought I was uninterested in them.
    It's definitely worth trying to make it work with those girls, everything you might be feeling about bothering them is more than likely in your own head! It might just be a mental self defence mechanism giving you an excuse to distance yourself to avoid being rejected.

    You have nothing to worry about!
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    (Original post by JoshDawg)
    The part you highlighted, I was basically saying, if you change yourself to fit in with the girl you don't like, you'll hate yourself later on in life for becoming a different person for a friendship that won't last.


    These new girls with a positive energy and thinking are definitely the ones you want to be hanging around with. What makes you feel like you're bothering them? I personally felt I was bothering my friends but that was completely made up in my own head, and I was kicking myself for not making more of an effort with them as they thought I was uninterested in them.
    It's definitely worth trying to make it work with those girls, everything you might be feeling about bothering them is more than likely in your own head! It might just be a mental self defence mechanism giving you an excuse to distance yourself to avoid being rejected.

    You have nothing to worry about!
    Can I ask your advice? You seemed to give good advice before!! I'm meeting with a friend who is very close to the girl I dislike. I suffer from anxiety as mentioned before... I think? I am unsure whether to open up and tell her what I am going through. She suffers from it too.. We bonded over that last year. We have had our issues due to that girl meddling in our friendship. Should I tell my friend what I'm going through and receive her understanding and support.. But risk her telling the other girl, she probably won't. Or do I keep it to myself and feel guilty for not trusting her and feel alone at the same time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Can I ask your advice? You seemed to give good advice before!! I'm meeting with a friend who is very close to the girl I dislike. I suffer from anxiety as mentioned before... I think? I am unsure whether to open up and tell her what I am going through. She suffers from it too.. We bonded over that last year. We have had our issues due to that girl meddling in our friendship. Should I tell my friend what I'm going through and receive her understanding and support.. But risk her telling the other girl, she probably won't. Or do I keep it to myself and feel guilty for not trusting her and feel alone at the same time.
    Do you trust this girl enough to confide in her? Do you feel like she is still a friend to you even though she is friends with a girl who meddles with your friendship? From the way you describe her you have similar issues (apart from this other girl) and I believe she would be able to relate to you and what you are going through. Is it that you just want someone to talk to though, or is it that you want to separate that friend from the other girl who meddles, if so, I don't believe that would work.

    Nothing is black and white here I'm afraid. But, I believe that you should at least try to connect with her and build a bridge between you two. I've been friends with people who are friends with others I don't like at all.

    Please ask yourself this though, and it might sound a little cliche BUT, what do you have to lose? This girl tells the other girl you don't like all this stuff and so what? Nothing changes, nothing gained nothing lost. I feel you have more to gain by rekindling an old friendship with this girl who has similar issues you can relate to!

    Best of luck with this, and if you do confide in her, I'd love to hear her response.


    P.S. This is all my opinion of course, feel free to get a second one I am by no means a guru, but I do understand what it's like to be lonely and it's worth making an effort with other people who can relate to you rather than suffer with it yourself or nothing changes.
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    (Original post by JoshDawg)
    Do you trust this girl enough to confide in her? Do you feel like she is still a friend to you even though she is friends with a girl who meddles with your friendship? From the way you describe her you have similar issues (apart from this other girl) and I believe she would be able to relate to you and what you are going through. Is it that you just want someone to talk to though, or is it that you want to separate that friend from the other girl who meddles, if so, I don't believe that would work.

    Nothing is black and white here I'm afraid. But, I believe that you should at least try to connect with her and build a bridge between you two. I've been friends with people who are friends with others I don't like at all.

    Please ask yourself this though, and it might sound a little cliche BUT, what do you have to lose? This girl tells the other girl you don't like all this stuff and so what? Nothing changes, nothing gained nothing lost. I feel you have more to gain by rekindling an old friendship with this girl who has similar issues you can relate to!

    Best of luck with this, and if you do confide in her, I'd love to hear her response.


    P.S. This is all my opinion of course, feel free to get a second one I am by no means a guru, but I do understand what it's like to be lonely and it's worth making an effort with other people who can relate to you rather than suffer with it yourself or nothing changes.
    We met up and spoke about things, didn't mention I am going counselling but did say I am struggling but did not reveal the total extent of my struggles. I feel good and don't feel guilty, thanks for your help...
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    dont compromise your view, just buy a better prescription pair of glasses
 
 
 
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