My mum won&#x27;t go to my own graduation :(

I would call her and tell her that ytou would appricaite it if she could attend and see what shes says. I f she says no tell her very calmly thats shes incredibly selfish and hang up.

Reply 3

bunnycatkid

That really sucks :frown:

My sister was only allowed 3 guests at graduation but anyway.. how many people are graduating? That should give you an idea of the chances of your parents running into eachother. If your mum refuses to go you will just have to accept that she is being really childish, does your dad know she isn't going? If you told you dad about dates for graduation before your mum is there a chance your mum feels left out? Cheer up though, all your friends will be there when you graduate, and you deserve something special for putting up with uni for so long! xxx

Reply 4

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

Can't you just have your mum & dad at the ceremonies and see the families after? I know she is being a bit selfish but you might not know all of what they did to her back then, and she may well feel intimidated and unable to enjoy the day if she's outnumbered by them.

I'm sure your dad won't have a problem if you say it's parents only at the actual ceremony?

Reply 5

OP

I can take as many family members as I want to the ceremony, and since none of them have seen my uni properly I thought it'd be a nice last chance to do so. There'll be a crowd of thousands and if I book people into different hotels for the night then they won't even see each other, so I'm upset that my mum won't even consider this. It's like she's refusing for the principle. I asked her first and my dad's family don't have a problem with her going - they want everyone together on that day too.

I know my friends will be there but they'll have both their parents with them - I'm the only one with a dysfunctional family it seems! :rolleyes:

Reply 6

no your def not the only one with a ****e family :biggrin:

Reply 7

bunthulhu

You're not the only one at all sweetie. Your mom sounds really unreasonable :mad:

My mom was not treated nicely by my dad's family at all and she still puts the effort in to be nice - no doubt, just for me and my brother.

Trigger's right - she's being incredibly selfish and if you can't persuade her to change her mind, you should definitely let her know how upset you are with her. It's YOUR big day, and she's making it about her big drama.

Reply 8

bunthulhu

You're not the only one at all sweetie. Your mom sounds really unreasonable :mad:

My mom was not treated nicely by my dad's family at all and she still puts the effort in to be nice - no doubt, just for me and my brother.

Trigger's right - she's being incredibly selfish and if you can't persuade her to change her mind, you should definitely let her know how upset you are with her. It's YOUR big day, and she's making it about her big drama.

*faint*

Reply 9

bunthulhu

Trigger

*faint*

I know - my hands must have been possessed :wink:

hehe

Reply 10

OP

Meh. I don't know. My mum hasn't shown much of an interest in uni stuff beyond the basics, she just lets me get on with it. I kind of wanted her to be proud enough of me to attend though. I've let her know how upset I am and how important it is to me but that just makes her dig her heels in further. Grrrrrrrrr. Things were so much simpler when I just ignored my dad like she does but I want to be a better person and yet its so much more complicated!

Reply 11

high priestess fnord

9

well if it makes you feel any better my parents and i will be putting on false smiles and making polite conversation at my graduation, try to look like a happy family and then sigh with relief when its all over.

Reply 12

OP

high priestess fnord

well if it makes you feel any better my parents and i will be putting on false smiles and making polite conversation at my graduation, try to look like a happy family and then sigh with relief when its all over.

Lol I went through all that in the years before they split up. My mum's got her tough nut hat on and is now saying that if she does go, she'll 'have a right go' at my dad's family, cause a scene and basically embarrass me in front of everyone. I think I'd rather have the false smiles!

Reply 13

tell her to grow up, explain to her how important this is to you and all you want is for both parties to behave. Your mother is being totally unreasonable

Reply 14

scribble_girl

Ask her what she'd do if it were your wedding? It's one thing if she's not completely au fait with the whole uni experience, I'd guess it can be a bit strange if you're not used to the idea and then it's just something your daughter's immersed in and you're not a part of it. But if you put it to her that if it were your wedding, it'd be of similar importance to you, would she do the same then?

My dad ended up getting married to my mum in a quick ceremony that'd been planned for 2 weeks, and none of his family were there, simply because of the fact his father and mother had divorced 10 years previous and couldn't be in the same room as each other. That's selfish, IMO, because they're putting their own petty disputes before their child's happiness. You bring a child into the world, you support it, no matter what and no matter how you feel about someone attending. It's incredibly sad if you miss some of your child's most important moments because you can't bear to share a room (and as you said, this would be amongst thousands) with someone who you once loved enough to have a child with.

Let me talk to your mum!!! No, really! :p:

Hahah, anyway, I shall stop preaching, but let her know how you feel; it's not fair for her to want to ruin your day, either turning up and making a scene, or not turning up at all. There's a time and a place for disputes, your graduation isn't one of them. If they want to fight, they can do it own their own special days, not yours. Hope it works out :smile:

Ps. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, everyone else is - and you're the most important one in it all!! X

Reply 15

OP

Thanks for all your replies peeps. I've tried reasoning with all the arguments you've come up with but she's just stormed off now. I'll just have to send her official invite off anyway and hope when it comes to the actual day she'll realise its significance and not be so stubborn about this :frown:

Reply 16

Shake 'n Bake

bunthulhu

You're not the only one at all sweetie. Your mom sounds really unreasonable :mad:

My mom was not treated nicely by my dad's family at all and she still puts the effort in to be nice - no doubt, just for me and my brother.

Trigger's right - she's being incredibly selfish and if you can't persuade her to change her mind, you should definitely let her know how upset you are with her. It's YOUR big day, and she's making it about her big drama.

People are different though. My mum and my dad/family do not get on AT ALL. My mum would still go to my graduation but you have to realize how arkward and hurtful it would be. I don't think her mum is being really selfish I just think she is scared and the emotions are still running in her.

Reply 17

bunthulhu