Left out by flatmates.
My flatmates are nice people and all but I don't feel properly part of the group. Most of them will just walk past my door to knock on each other's and none of them seem like genuine people at all. I do make a conscious effort to get involved but they just don't seem to want to talk to me. I go out on nights out with them but I just end up getting left out of conversation. My coursemates on the other hand are some of the most fun people I've met, when I'm at uni I'm so happy it's just when I get back to my flat. I don't know what I'm going to do about living next year because ideally I'd want to live with my friends from the course but they'll probably live with their flatmates.
Original post by Anon2456
My flatmates are nice people and all but I don't feel properly part of the group. Most of them will just walk past my door to knock on each other's and none of them seem like genuine people at all. I do make a conscious effort to get involved but they just don't seem to want to talk to me. I go out on nights out with them but I just end up getting left out of conversation. My coursemates on the other hand are some of the most fun people I've met, when I'm at uni I'm so happy it's just when I get back to my flat. I don't know what I'm going to do about living next year because ideally I'd want to live with my friends from the course but they'll probably live with their flatmates.
L0L. None of mine knock on anyone's doors. We mind our own business and are friendly enough to each other that we can share our pots and pans.
This is fairly common. I was lucky in that two of my flatmates were people I actively got on with and still talk to regularly in second year. The other two, who were guys, were nice and great fun - I miss their antics, in all honesty - but we never went out together. It all depends what you want out of this situation. Do you want to become pallier with your flatmates? Or are you just looking to vent?
If you want to become friendlier with them, try getting to know them more. Try chatting to them when you go into the kitchen, ask about their days...I'm not saying you're a horrible person or that your personality is lacking, but just in case, you'll want to avoid bragging or being overly deep in front of them, or making pops at their subjects.
If you don't really want to be with them and are just looking for thoughts on your situation...I am confirming for you now that this is normal. Two of my friends hated their housemates (they lived separately), and one of my flatmates/current friends actually hated the two flatmates I described as 'fun' (although he refuses to admit it). It's unlucky and unpleasant, but it's not uncommon. And remember, the friends that hated their housemates obviously have a fairly large friendship group that is totally devoid of housemates. I sparked our friendship group as a whole by drunkenly chatting to five of them, who had gone out as a house during freshers, and continuing to talk to them throughout the year. In addition to that, a fair few of them knew each other via their course.
I haven't made friends that I go out with on my course. I was worried that I wasn't doing what was normal. That means that I think that what is 'normal' is making friends on your course and living with them. So if I were you, I wouldn't worry at all about that. Just keep sticking to your friends. My friends and I started talking about living arrangements in November, and by January, everything was sorted. I personally think it's very unusual to live with your flatmates again next year, although I wouldn't have minded it. Keep chatting to your friends and keep up that relationship, and maybe ask them who they're living with next year. If you want to live with them, there's no harm in asking.
If you want to become friendlier with them, try getting to know them more. Try chatting to them when you go into the kitchen, ask about their days...I'm not saying you're a horrible person or that your personality is lacking, but just in case, you'll want to avoid bragging or being overly deep in front of them, or making pops at their subjects.
If you don't really want to be with them and are just looking for thoughts on your situation...I am confirming for you now that this is normal. Two of my friends hated their housemates (they lived separately), and one of my flatmates/current friends actually hated the two flatmates I described as 'fun' (although he refuses to admit it). It's unlucky and unpleasant, but it's not uncommon. And remember, the friends that hated their housemates obviously have a fairly large friendship group that is totally devoid of housemates. I sparked our friendship group as a whole by drunkenly chatting to five of them, who had gone out as a house during freshers, and continuing to talk to them throughout the year. In addition to that, a fair few of them knew each other via their course.
I haven't made friends that I go out with on my course. I was worried that I wasn't doing what was normal. That means that I think that what is 'normal' is making friends on your course and living with them. So if I were you, I wouldn't worry at all about that. Just keep sticking to your friends. My friends and I started talking about living arrangements in November, and by January, everything was sorted. I personally think it's very unusual to live with your flatmates again next year, although I wouldn't have minded it. Keep chatting to your friends and keep up that relationship, and maybe ask them who they're living with next year. If you want to live with them, there's no harm in asking.
(edited 8 years ago)
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- how do i go about remedying this?? friendships are in shambles
- Am I being selfish
- Changing flats
- Lonely at University
- I’m going mad over this help !
- Accommodation for first year
- university
- Swansea student accommodation - Seren
- Flatmates neglecting student house HELP
- issue w/ international student flatmates
- Flatmates not putting bins out
- Discounted en-suite room in Stratford One 5Jun-14Sep 265pw near LMA, UAL, UCL, QMUL
- Post study abroad depression
- Transferring back to UCL
- Portsmouth Move In
- Riverside Point Nottingham 2022
- Really struggling with final year
- How strict are university halls with overnight guests - Any personal anecdotes?
- Messy flatmates
- advice for someone who's dropped out of uni and wants to go back
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%Trending
Last reply 2 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%
