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    Hi there,

    Thank you for taking time to read my post, my first one! I haven't ever done this but I don't know where to turn and need some help and guidance if possible regarding my ex-girlfriend.

    Before meeting her, I found it quite hard to gain a connection with anyone, I'd date people but hadn't ever felt love before. I met this girl in Liverpool on a night out and instantly felt a connection with her like never before, we exchanged numbers and went from there. The relationship itself was pretty magical, we were inseparable and I didn't want to do anything else but to be with her when I was free from work. We had explored places like York, London together and had the most amazing Christmas. The girl changed my overall perspective on life and she was/is my whole world.

    Earlier this year, we began to argue more frequently over needless things. It wouldn't be full blown but the reasons why didn't warrant us fighting with each other. I think I'm going to own up and say that the majority was my fault, I was over protective and was too scared about the thought of losing her. I would be in unnecessary moods and at the time, I didn't think I was the problem. The problem is, I made her my world. I blocked everyone out of my life, friends and family because I was in this bubble where I seen myself and her being together forever. We eventually booked a holiday to go to Barcelona which was something to look forward to, we were both excited and had a nice time but we eventually went back to the usual arguments when we got back.

    I started distancing myself from her, even if we were together. The physical relationship started deteriorating despite our love still being there. I didn't put enough effort in at the time and that was her point. I didn't deserve to keep her whilst I was being the way I was. My jealousy and possessive attitude contributed towards this and eventually she ended it at the end of March.

    We've both been struggling, as far as I'm aware. I have never experienced anything like this and I am at the lowest part of my life. I have never felt so lonely or worthless in all my life. The girl is most definitely the love of my life, sounds cliché even with it being my first love, but she is everything I ever wished for and I can't see my life without her. Believe me, I have tried my hardest to let her go but I can't do it. I've only seen dark days since March and I haven't been able to sleep or concentrate in work (currently in work now writing this). I am petrified of the thought of her being with someone else, because it should be me that's with her and I would do absolutely anything in the whole world to get her back. We haven't spoke in months and it's just heartbreaking, I don't want anything else but for her to be back. I am depressed and cry most nights whilst thinking about her, A song from Adele in a shop or on the radio makes me feel emotional it is that bad!

    I am an emotional wreck and have distanced myself from the outside world. I wake up, go to work, come home and lay in bed. It's self pity and I know it isn't going to win her back. I have lost all confidence, I've put on tonnes of weight, I am in a rut and I feel sorry for myself but I literally cannot help it. I just don't see any point in life without her.

    I'm not stupid enough to know that I'm playing this the wrong way and I need serious help. I have seen where my faults lay in the relationship and see why she left me. I understand it all completely but she doesn't want to give it another chance, she said "she's in the process of moving on".

    Sorry if this all doesn't make any sense, I really do need help with this.

    Thanks,
    Tom
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    Time to move on lad. Break ups are horrendous. But the future is there to be had. You can mope about what might have happened if things were different or you can pick yourself up and move forward. It is hard but it gets easier. Hang in there and start making positive decisions in your life.

    Good luck!
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    If you haven't talked to her in months. Why not try to talk to her may be that would help
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    I spoke to her yesterday for the first time in months, I needed to know if she was over me and if I'm fighting a lost battle.

    Her reply was pretty grim, said that she's in the process of moving on and it takes time. She feels awful about the whole situation me only wants to see me happy. She told me to start enjoying life and go out with friends and possibly look for someone new (I couldn't think of anything worse), and she told me I have to let go.

    I was a strong person but this has destroyed absolutely everything that I am. By the sounds of her reply, it sounds like she has met someone else and it's killing me. This wasn't supposed to happen and I don't want anything else in my life but her, nothing else seems important.
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    This isn't about her: it's about the depression you've fallen into. Until you realise that you have far bigger problems than simply wanting her back you will not progress.

    She is nothing but a totem at this point: something to which you can point to excuse yourself from working to come out of your depression.
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    Creating a new account and posting on the introduce yourself section of this forum... these trolls are getting sophisticated!
 
 
 
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