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    I have this old mate of mine whom seems to be Facebook messaging me more and more frequently over the last month or so. Prior to this I hadn't heard from him for months and months (possibly last year). So our connection is a sporadic one where he comes in and out of my life constantly.

    He was one of my first ever best mates, and we go back since primary school (I'm now 25). I met him when I was 11, we drifted in and out of each others lives for sometime, we went to different secondary schools. He had always been a typical bad lad, and has had a troubled life/familylife. Always in trouble at school for fighting, and was engaged with delinquency with me/and others at many stages of our teens. His family was very poor and he has a very kind of unkept appearance, but thats how he now chooses to life his life (no judgement at all).

    I then spent a good 2-4 years in my early-mid to late teens with him and a group of others, (a dark phase), where I got arrested for a crime (with him and accomplices) which could have got me a jail term at 16/17.

    We were all just bored kids, underperforming in school, roaming the streets when we should have been studying. My father had died around age 14 and I feel this impacted me (still no excuse for my criminality).

    We drifted, life moved on, but somehow we maintained contact. He was no longer my best mate, but an acquaintance. Up until some point a year or so ago, I went for a drink with him and kind of reconciled. He is still very rough around the edges, and it is quite clear when you put him next to me, we both stand out differently. One thing that bothered me is, last time we met, he had little money, and he jokingly said in front of me to his bro and co. 'lets fleece him'. As in, make him pay for our drinks. I took this as a light hearted joke. But who knows the nature of his request to meet me this time?

    I often feel awkward when I'm with him, because we have no shared interests, he sits in pubs all day gets drunk. Guess he's an alcoholic really. Meanwhile, I've travelled a lot, seen the world, have been to university, turned my life around really.

    Today, he has asked me "what im upto" and if I wanted to "go for a drink with him". Since I am doing nothing today, I said sure why not. But I can't help but feel he wants something from me? I am inquisitive as to the nature of him wanting to see me. Yeah sure, he maybe misses me, feels nostalgic; but I don't know. Rightly so, I am cautious.


    1. Old mate has asked me to go to pub with him for a beer. I'm questioning the nature of the gesture.

    2. Haven't seen mate for at least a year- used to be close with him and was my first mate in primary school- though we drifted over time.

    3. Said friend has had a troubled life, in trouble with the law, comes from a poor family. I even got in trouble with him with the law and got arrested in my mid-late teens.

    4. He is a typical bad kid really, and although we're in our twenties, he is still very much rough around edges. Sits in pub all day getting pissed. Unkept appearance.

    5. I turned my life around, went to university, have a hard working single mother who whilst earns very little, still has provided for and brought me up well- considering. His family are broken, single parents, and looking back his parents simply neglected him.

    6. I cant help but feel awkward when we meet. His associates treat me with contempt and actually scorn at me. Makes me feel like a yuppy mummies boy. Life hasn't been easy for me either. I've been in rock bottom, difference is, I've had a support network- he hasn't.

    Do I meet him or not?

    go and ask him questions (subtly) of why he wants to meet up now. you might get something out of him.
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Updated: November 12, 2015
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