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Refusing to do P.E watch

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    I'm in year 11 at a school which I really struggle in. To put it bluntly, I have no friends and most people think I'm a loser. It's half term now and I literally had a nightmare about PE last night and I honestly would rather bunk than go to PE again.
    I am always the person who gets picked last. Usually I don't get picked at all. Most of the time, the teacher will ask everybody to get into groups of 4 and people would rather get into a group of 5 than let me into their group. So the teacher has to separate another group just to make space for me and then everyone (usually the popular people in the group) will get angry and do that thing where they don't say anything to me personally but they will laugh and roll their eyes with their friends about having a loser like me in their group. When we do things like basketball/netball, I am always unmarked and free yet nobody will pass it to me which makes me feel like the biggest and most unwanted social outcast that ever lived. In group work, everybody completely ignores me as though I'm invisible. In the changing rooms, I'm always that guy in the corner that has no mates and nobody talks to them.
    I also had an incident with another teacher where they told me to take off my tracksuit bottoms and change into shorts and I refused because I have fairly severe self harm over my legs. I was quite polite to her and explained that I was cold and had personal reasons as to why I prefer to wear my tracksuit and not my shorts but she wasn't having any of it. Now she's determined to make my life hell and it feels like she hates me and wants to make me suffer just as much as the other students do.
    Even when we don't do group work, I feel like I physically cannot do what they ask of me. Sometimes we will do dance or fitness routines where the teacher stands at the front and you have to copy what they do - I find this so humiliating and embarrassing that I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like everyone's watching me and laughing at me.
    I already go to the school counselor (for mental health issues which I honestly believe were partially caused by this sh*thole of a school) and I told them about my PE issues. They just told me to stick it out for the last few months of year 11. I'm not prepared to do that because the level of distress and uncomfort it causes me is too high. My parents complained and my school says 'PE is in the curriculum, sorry'.

    What can I do now?
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    If it was me, I would just point blank refuse in that situation. I would email the head and deputy teachers along with the counselor and state that it is the same as a hostile work environment where body image issues are being taken badly.

    Have you spoken to your parents/guardians about this at all? Or any aunts/uncles?
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    Thought you were a girl from the beginning
    But damn, there are many people in your position out there that can't really do anything about it.
    You're making yourself look and feel like a victim but are you actually in yr 11? Cus' what you're describing is some year 9 sht.
    It's out of anyone's control for there to be change apart from yourself.
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    Stop moaning and get on with it, in the real world you'll have do things you don't like, most of which will be far harder than doing a couple of hours group exercise a week.
    I can understand why you'd want to wear tracksuit bottoms so I'd just get a note from your parents.
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    (Original post by Francis.C)
    Thought you were a girl from the beginning
    But damn, there are many people in your position out there that can't really do anything about it.
    You're making yourself look and feel like a victim but are you actually in yr 11? Cus' what you're describing is some year 9 sht.
    It's out of anyone's control for there to be change apart from yourself.
    I'm not saying that the cycle of self victimising isn't part of the OP's mindset, because it could be, but it's too early to tell. Even if it is being a victim doesn't mean others aren't bullying you.

    You're right that the OP needs to find change from within to at least a certain regard though.
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    (Original post by Prince_fancybum)
    Stop moaning and get on with it, in the real world you'll have do things you don't like, most of which will be far harder than doing a couple of hours group exercise a week.
    I can understand why you'd want to wear tracksuit bottoms so I'd just get a note from your parents.
    I would ignore the first part of this OP, the poster shows a profound lack of understand of mental health issues.
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    I'd just wag the lesson tbh.

    EDIT - or tell a teacher you're not doing PE.
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    (Original post by Prince_fancybum)
    Stop moaning and get on with it, in the real world you'll have do things you don't like, most of which will be far harder than doing a couple of hours group exercise a week.
    I can understand why you'd want to wear tracksuit bottoms so I'd just get a note from your parents.
    I actually disagree. In the 'real world' I will not have to do things like this. In the real world, only a f*cking idiot stays at a job which offers bad conditions and makes them feel like sh*t. And if you don't like your job, you leave it.
    Thank you for the suggestion about the note though.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    If it was me, I would just point blank refuse in that situation. I would email the head and deputy teachers along with the counselor and state that it is the same as a hostile work environment where body image issues are being taken badly.

    Have you spoken to your parents/guardians about this at all? Or any aunts/uncles?
    Hi, thank you. The teachers know what's going on but they ignore it. After they noticed that I was continually left out of groups, they just laughed and said 'don't you have any friends to go with?'
    I spoke to my parents who have complained about a lot of problems I have at school but in general, my school just replies by saying 'we are a fantastic grammar school who attain great results, make the most of your time here!'
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    (Original post by kappaladin)
    Hi, thank you. The teachers know what's going on but they ignore it. After they noticed that I was continually left out of groups, they just laughed and said 'don't you have any friends to go with?'
    I spoke to my parents who have complained about a lot of problems I have at school but in general, my school just replies by saying 'we are a fantastic grammar school who attain great results, make the most of your time here!'
    Perhaps you/they are not going to the right teachers? Have you approached the senior management team? Is there a teacher in charge of pastoral care? A deputy head say can make the PE teachers take this more seriously.

    And at the end of the day, what can they physically do to you if you don't change into shorts or skip a lesson? Worst case scenario is you'd get detentions, it'll go on your report and your parents will be called you, but it sounds like you'd be ok with that? As long as your parents are supportive.
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    I'd go into hedge funds
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    (Original post by Francis.C)
    Thought you were a girl from the beginning
    But damn, there are many people in your position out there that can't really do anything about it.
    You're making yourself look and feel like a victim but are you actually in yr 11? Cus' what you're describing is some year 9 sht.
    It's out of anyone's control for there to be change apart from yourself.
    I don't understand why you brought gender into it? Am I not allowed to experience natural human emotions i.e. sadness because of my gender? The times are long gone where males should feel compelled not to show emotion or weakness because of the macho man stereotype.
    Sorry, I digress.
    Yes, I am actually in year 11. I spent years 7-9 trying so hard to make friends and find a circle but it didn't work out obviously. I have tried to change. I still try and talk to new people but I am not an idiot, I know people dislike me and laugh about me, I can hear them.
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    (Original post by kappaladin)
    I actually disagree. In the 'real world' I will not have to do things like this. In the real world, only a f*cking idiot stays at a job which offers bad conditions and makes them feel like sh*t. And if you don't like your job, you leave it.
    Thank you for the suggestion about the note though.
    If you just leave job after job for everything that pisses you off then you'll have no chance of getting a job in the future. Plus as an adult with financial responsibilities you need to be at work to live.

    And how often do you do p.e a week, three hours? It's a lot less than the 40ish hours you'd spend at work, so disliking a lesson at school isn't really comparable to hating a job
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    Ask yourself what Zebrah would do.
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    (Original post by Prince_fancybum)
    If you just leave job after job for everything that pisses you off then you'll have no chance of getting a job in the future. Plus as an adult with financial responsibilities you need to be at work to live.

    And how often do you do p.e a week, three hours? It's a lot less than the 40ish hours you'd spend at work, so disliking a lesson at school isn't really comparable to hating a job
    I think you're missing the point a bit here though.

    It's not the monotony of a job that the OP is comparing, it's the drastically bad working conditions. It sounds similar to forcing someone with disordered eating to certain foods whilst in a triggering environment.
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    I used to point blank refuse to wear shorts in pe. I would have to argue every single time but there were a few others who also refused.

    When the year below me got to year 11, they were not forced to wear shorts. I like to feel that was partly due to my protest...

    If you really hate it, bunk off. But try and get some exercise in your own time as it is important.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    It's not the monotony of a job that the OP is comparing, it's the drastically bad working conditions. It sounds similar to forcing someone with disordered eating to certain foods whilst in a triggering environment.
    I disagree. If you're at school you do PE. If you do PE, you wear what's required. If that's shorts and t-shirt that's what you wear. The teacher is obviously unaware of your reasons for not wanting to wear shorts, which probably comes across as stroppy and immature to them.

    In the real world if the dress code is a suit and tie, you wear a suit and tie. You can't just say 'I've got a personal reason that I'd rather wear a Hawaiian shirt today'. Not without getting fired. That's what the other poster was saying.

    But it does sound like the OP is having a tough time of it, and I hope that gets fixed. Maybe ask for a meeting between parents and the head of year? The dynamics of the situation will dictate who's best to talk to who. Good luck OP :-)
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    I think you're missing the point a bit here though.

    It's not the monotony of a job that the OP is comparing, it's the drastically bad working conditions. It sounds similar to forcing someone with disordered eating to certain foods whilst in a triggering environment.
    OP hasn't stated any physical reason that would make them unable to participate in pe. Although they may feel uncomfortable, it's not physically harming them so they should persevere and try to push themselves to take part and be more confident.
    There's a definite issue though that would be fixed with a meeting with the head of department or head of school
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    There was a girl in my school who had very hairy legs and she told the p.e. that she was self conscious because she's shave in the morning and it would grow back by p.e. time and the teacher let her wear trackies!!!!
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    (Original post by Prince_fancybum)
    OP hasn't stated any physical reason that would make them unable to participate in pe. Although they may feel uncomfortable, it's not physically harming them so they should persevere and try to push themselves to take part and be more confident.
    There's a definite issue though that would be fixed with a meeting with the head of department or head of school
    Sorry but this seems like a valid reduction:
    Physical reasons or GTFO?

    Because the OP has already tried to approach the teachers about wearing trousers and they have refused.
    Physical harm is not the only important harm.
 
 
 
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