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    Hi all,

    I've got this friend whom I love very much. He's a wonderful person and he's so kind to me. We've been in a relationship for three months now and its been nice.

    I got together with him after I moved away. My family move a lot so I've had to move before and sometimes I feel like I go crazy with loneliness and the fear that my friends will forget me. The last time I moved away before the end of term. I had no friends in the area, and spent four months in my room with no-one but my cat to talk to (my parents both work long hours).

    It happened again this time. I felt so alone after the first three weeks, even after I'd texted everyone I knew. They had superficial conversations with me. Hi. How are you? I'm good thanks you? I'm good. That's good. End of conversation.

    But this friend I was talking about wouldn't have any of that. I spent hours on the phone to him each night, both texting and calling him. Even though I wasn't doing much, somehow he was still interested in the little things, like the faces my cat made of that we'd run out of milk. That was where it started.

    When I moved to the new college in September this year, I met a lot of new people. My college work was interesting and I gained a whole lot more to talk to him about.

    Recently however, our conversations seem superficial, like we are talking to each other out of habit more than out of love. I'm starting to question whether what I feel for him is real or just the product of my own fear of abandonment. Now that I no longer attend college with him, I feel so out of touch with his life. He seems out of touch with my life too, as he's never even seen my current college.

    I've tried having lots of sex with him whenever I see him, just to see if it spices things up between us but so far its not worked. It feels good and everything but isn't as mind-blowing as before and I've asked if we can slow things down while I think about this.

    What should I do? How can I love him more? How can I stay involved with him? Can long distance relationships really last and how can I make that happen?
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    can you summarise?
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    (Original post by jlsmpV2)
    can you summarise?
    Good friend in a relationship
    Worried she loves him just because of her fear of abandonment as her parents move a lot, not many friends.
    Has had sex lots, and feels that convo is more superficial and not out of love.


    OP Maybe just tone down the conversation and not talk *as much* as you usually do. Take some time and get to mingle with others as well.
    I think you're scared of losing him and your head is saying that you must love him more so that you don't lose him.

    You already like him, just take it slow. Have you talked to him about it?
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    (Original post by jlsmpV2)
    can you summarise?
    nope, sorry it ain't one of my skills
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    (Original post by LadyEcliptic)
    Good friend in a relationship
    Worried she loves him just because of her fear of abandonment as her parents move a lot, not many friends.
    Has had sex lots, and feels that convo is more superficial and not out of love.


    OP Maybe just tone down the conversation and not talk *as much* as you usually do. Take some time and get to mingle with others as well.
    I think you're scared of losing him and your head is saying that you must love him more so that you don't lose him.

    You already like him, just take it slow. Have you talked to him about it?
    I have talked to him a little but not extensively. I feel like I need to do something though. The waiting for things to go bad is just killing me.
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    (Original post by Bhansongal98)
    I have talked to him a little but not extensively. I feel like I need to do something though. The waiting for things to go bad is just killing me.
    Are you waiting to be uprooted again?
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    (Original post by LadyEcliptic)
    Are you waiting to be uprooted again?
    I'm waiting for him to think I'm boring. I won't be uprooted for another year and a half
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    (Original post by Bhansongal98)
    I'm waiting for him to think I'm boring. I won't be uprooted for another year and a half
    I don't think he thinks that. Why would you think that?
    Like, I personally think you are being quite hard on yourself.
    Unless he has said anything and you have talked about it, then there really is no reason for you to do anything.

    If you want to, you can surprise him with something. Doesn't have to be sex. I know my bf is taking me to see fireworks and taking me to a lecture on stars (I'm a complete nerd and he knows I love that ****) so maybe surprise him? Doesn't have to be anything big
 
 
 
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