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Could this be childhood trauma? watch

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    Okay, so I've been in counselling for a while for bipolar disorder, anxiety, clinical depression, anorexia, and some drug-related problems. I was actually hospitalised at one period, which resulted in me missing education, and this started my counselling.

    The main thing I get asked about is my childhood...and that's the thing. I don't remember anything from my childhood. So I automatically say, 'no, nothing happened.' Then they stop asking about it, but now I'm beginning to think there's more to it than that.

    I got told to make a timeline of my anorexia before, drawing on my childhood. But, where other people can say 'at 10,' I did this and 'at 7,' I did this, I literally can't remember at what age I did anything. I have some vague flashes when someone says something, but I can't recall them by myself. Like if I sat tonight thinking about what I did when I was 10 I wouldn't remember anything. I can't even remember some of the family photos that we have around the house.

    My parents weren't abusive or anything (well, I think my mother was a bit verbally abusive, but she has mental problems of her own, and that is another story entirely.) I had some friends. I wasn't bullied or anything, so I'm not sure why I wouldn't remember, or what could've happened.

    It's not that I have a bad memory either. In fact, I have a very good memory. I can remember anything that isn't associated with my childhood. Like I clearly remember my school years and what I was doing a few years ago.

    I have really bad nightmares, too, which result in me waking up screaming and seeing things in my room. I can remember most of my childhood nightmares, which is strange because I can't even remember my childhood.

    I wouldn't have even thought about this, but I also feel pain whenever I have sex, which I'm going to have to see a counsellor about. I'm afraid to call them back. I know they're going to say it's all psychological and ask about things, but I honestly can't remember anything.

    What is this? How can it be diagnosed/found out if I don't even remember it? Will anyone actually take me seriously if I brought it up?
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    Absolutely it would be taken seriously.

    You mentioned that your mother was verbally abusive and dealt with mental health problems. Maybe it seems like a small thing now, but as a child this alone could have had a profound effect on you. There are any number of possible causes for the problems you are dealing with, and a counselor's job is to help you uncover them. Just because you don't remember something, doesn't mean it didn't happen. There are methods of helping you remember events and feelings from the past. If you are honest with your counselor about these concerns, they will be better equipped to help you uncover anything you may be hiding in your subconscious. At the same time, don't assume something traumatic must have happened to you as a child to have caused these problems. I have a similar situation in that I remember very little about my childhood, and I also dealt with depression and drug related issues, but after talking to a counselor for several months I was able to better understand the root of my problems. Not everyone has a specific event which leads to mental health problems, and if you can't remember your childhood, it could be as simple as you just can't remember it.

    Talk to a counselor. Try to figure it out if it is bothering you.
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    (Original post by Nerol)
    Absolutely it would be taken seriously.

    You mentioned that your mother was verbally abusive and dealt with mental health problems. Maybe it seems like a small thing now, but as a child this alone could have had a profound effect on you. There are any number of possible causes for the problems you are dealing with, and a counselor's job is to help you uncover them. Just because you don't remember something, doesn't mean it didn't happen. There are methods of helping you remember events and feelings from the past. If you are honest with your counselor about these concerns, they will be better equipped to help you uncover anything you may be hiding in your subconscious. At the same time, don't assume something traumatic must have happened to you as a child to have caused these problems. I have a similar situation in that I remember very little about my childhood, and I also dealt with depression and drug related issues, but after talking to a counselor for several months I was able to better understand the root of my problems. Not everyone has a specific event which leads to mental health problems, and if you can't remember your childhood, it could be as simple as you just can't remember it.

    Talk to a counselor. Try to figure it out if it is bothering you.
    Thank you so much for the reply! I really hope that it's just a case of not remembering anything. I'm just not even sure if I actually want to remember. My counselor is on holiday, so I'll have to wait until he comes back
 
 
 
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