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how do i get over my best friend!

hey guys, i just really need to get this off my mind.ok, so me and this girl have been best friends for 2and a half years.in that time we've never looked at each other like that.now over christmas i started falling for her, but never said anything..now i told her this recently, pretending that i no longer felt like that-even though i do! anyways, she laughed about it and found it "cute" but made it obvious we will never be more than friends and she doesnt want anything to happen, but would like us to stay best friends.now that was kind of hard, but i go to uni with her, spend all my time with her, allways talk on the phone with her etc and i can't help but feel how i do.what makes it worse is that she thinks i don't like her like that anymore and she now really likes this guy.i don't want to feel like this, how do i get over my best friend!?

Reply 1

Kagutsuchi

20

Well, it may just be a crush, if that's the case then you'll get over it soon. However, it may be something more serious, in which case your friendship will slowly deteriorate, that's inevitable. If this is the case, then you might as well confront her and ask her out for a date. She's probably thinking that she doesn't want to ruin the friendship you lot have. :smile:

Reply 2

hapa_girl

7

Anonymous

hey guys, i just really need to get this off my mind.ok, so me and this girl have been best friends for 2and a half years.in that time we've never looked at each other like that.now over christmas i started falling for her, but never said anything..now i told her this recently, pretending that i no longer felt like that-even though i do! anyways, she laughed about it and found it "cute" but made it obvious we will never be more than friends and she doesnt want anything to happen, but would like us to stay best friends.now that was kind of hard, but i go to uni with her, spend all my time with her, allways talk on the phone with her etc and i can't help but feel how i do.what makes it worse is that she thinks i don't like her like that anymore and she now really likes this guy.i don't want to feel like this, how do i get over my best friend!?

MY ADvice: don't get over her. Keep your feelings for her but don't pester or scare her with it, she'll come around one day and say she wants you back. My best friend (guy) had feelings for me before I had them for him. I came around a few months later. It is THE Best relationship I've had and we've been together 4 years now.. (not including the 3 years we were best friends!) She'll come round.

Reply 3

curiositysatisfied

Maybe try to gradually cut down the amount of time you spend with her. Arrange to go out with your other friends more...the ones who don't hang out with her. Keep yourself really busy so you have no time to talk to her on the phone. Basically just always have something new to do. You could also try meeting other girls and going on as many dates as possible. Who knows, maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder for her? If not, then at least you will have made steps to getting over her. However, maybe what you really need is closure and the only way you can fully get this is by telling her the truth. Good luck xx

Reply 4

Kagutsuchi

20

hapa_girl

MY ADvice: don't get over her. Keep your feelings for her but don't pester or scare her with it, she'll come around one day and say she wants you back. My best friend (guy) had feelings for me before I had them for him. I came around a few months later. It is THE Best relationship I've had and we've been together 4 years now.. (not including the 3 years we were best friends!) She'll come round.

But what if she doesn't? Then that'll be an enormous amount of time wasted on the OP's part as he could have gone with another lovely girl. :smile:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

these are all great responses.just goes to show the strength of the tsr community.thanks guys, its hard to cut down the contact since we are best friends and it's not fair on her for me to do so :s-smilie:

Reply 6

hapa_girl

7

Dattebayo

But what if she doesn't? Then that'll be an enormous amount of time wasted on the OP's part as he could have gone with another lovely girl. :smile:

But what if she does? Who knows? Who even cares? If you want something, try for it! :biggrin:

I never told him not to date other girls either. My best friend dated other girls when I rejected him. It was seeing him with other girls that made me realise my feelings for him..

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

OP, I'm in a similar predicament to you.
It's a little more complicated though. My best friend told me that he loved me but at the time he'd just split up with his girlfriend so I didnt really take him seriously and didn't think of him in that way. Since then feelings have developed and I am completely in love with him. He is now back with his girlfriend and yet still tells me he's in love with me. Seeing them together kills me and I don't really think he will split up with her. So I need to move on too. Though I see him everyday, it makes it so hard. Basically what I'm trying to say is I understand what youre going through, I know that's not much help.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

OP, I'm in a similar predicament to you.
It's a little more complicated though. My best friend told me that he loved me but at the time he'd just split up with his girlfriend so I didnt really take him seriously and didn't think of him in that way. Since then feelings have developed and I am completely in love with him. He is now back with his girlfriend and yet still tells me he's in love with me. Seeing them together kills me and I don't really think he will split up with her. So I need to move on too. Though I see him everyday, it makes it so hard. Basically what I'm trying to say is I understand what youre going through, I know that's not much help.

no, im glad you posted.at least neither of us have a bf/gf so it isn't as complicated.today i avoided her all day, and didnt text her back last night.but now i've got home-when i usualli would be with her and even though i'm kinda proud that i did some maths in that time, i now feel really bad.she always says things yeh "i don't knw why people say we shud get together, we're best friends, nothing would ever happen between us!" and laughs at the thought of kissing or holding hands.so i'm no fool, i know when to move on-its just so hard to do so!

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

I'm in a similar situation. I'm a girl and i really like this guy i'm good friends with (we're not best friends though). Unfortunately he doesn't feel the same way even though he did last year. It hurts me to see him with some other girl he really fancies. i'm trying to move on but it really isn't happening and i'm still holding on to some sort of hope because he did like me before (but I didn't feel the same way at the time) so what's to stop him from him liking me again. It's so annoying so i do feel your pain, OP :smile:

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

I'm in a similar situation. I'm a girl and i really like this guy i'm good friends with (we're not best friends though). Unfortunately he doesn't feel the same way even though he did last year. It hurts me to see him with some other girl he really fancies. i'm trying to move on but it really isn't happening and i'm still holding on to some sort of hope because he did like me before (but I didn't feel the same way at the time) so what's to stop him from him liking me again. It's so annoying so i do feel your pain, OP :smile:

ouch, thats complex.well i've decided to try and move on,finding it hard at the moment and i just want to text her, saying anything.but whats the point, i guess it ain't meant to be

how do i get over my best friend!

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