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    I have quite a lot of casual friends that I talk to and see every now and then. But my boyfriend is certainly my only close friend, and the closest thing I have to a best friend. He's the person I talk to the most, hang out with the most, the shoulder to cry on. He's so nice to me, and very loyal and trustworthy, and we look after each other well. We've been together almost 3 years and I think the world of him, and I'd probably be quite lost without him tbh.

    I'd moved across the country to be with him, so that'll be part of the reason. But even back home I wasn't really super close to anyone, as the friends I did have kinda drifted apart and we didn't have much in common anymore after school finished. I've always seemed to be a bit of a loner anyway that would often do things alone and found it hard to get close to people for one reason or another.

    I have made friends with my boyfriend's friends and their girlfriends/wives, and we go out in groups quite a bit. I've met people on nights out and festivals to hang out with. I'm friendly with my flatmates and my college classmates. But at the end of the day, there's no one I think of or am close to nearly as much as I am to my boyfriend.

    I guess I'm writing this because I'm always wondering if I should be very worried about this. It's not that I don't want a platonic best friend; I guess I've just been quite unlucky in managing to find and keep one, and now I think I might be getting too old to find a new one anyway now that I'm 24. I remember years ago I used to complain a lot on TSR about not having a boyfriend, and in hindsight I realise it's probably partly cos I was lonely and just wanted to be close to someone, whether that be a best friend or a romantic partner (but the latter was/is preferable for the regular sex, hehe). But yeah, I'm also wondering if anyone else is like this too, and what do you think about it?
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    By the way I am female, if that's relevant. Didn't even mean to post anon, lol, but never mind.
    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have quite a lot of casual friends that I talk to and see every now and then. But my boyfriend is certainly my only close friend, and the closest thing I have to a best friend. He's the person I talk to the most, hang out with the most, the shoulder to cry on. He's so nice to me, and very loyal and trustworthy, and we look after each other well. We've been together almost 3 years and I think the world of him, and I'd probably be quite lost without him tbh.

    I'd moved across the country to be with him, so that'll be part of the reason. But even back home I wasn't really super close to anyone, as the friends I did have kinda drifted apart and we didn't have much in common anymore after school finished. I've always seemed to be a bit of a loner anyway that would often do things alone and found it hard to get close to people for one reason or another.

    I have made friends with my boyfriend's friends and their girlfriends/wives, and we go out in groups quite a bit. I've met people on nights out and festivals to hang out with. I'm friendly with my flatmates and my college classmates. But at the end of the day, there's no one I think of or am close to nearly as much as I am to my boyfriend.

    I guess I'm writing this because I'm always wondering if I should be very worried about this. It's not that I don't want a platonic best friend; I guess I've just been quite unlucky in managing to find and keep one, and now I think I might be getting too old to find a new one anyway now that I'm 24. I remember years ago I used to complain a lot on TSR about not having a boyfriend, and in hindsight I realise it's probably partly cos I was lonely and just wanted to be close to someone, whether that be a best friend or a romantic partner (but the latter was/is preferable for the regular sex, hehe). But yeah, I'm also wondering if anyone else is like this too, and what do you think about it?
    I think what you have sounds great so far!

    However I was in the exact same situation. I was with a great guy, my best friend. We moved in together and since I was so busy with work and since we moved further away from my friends, I didnt have time to see my friends as much and I drifted until I only ever saw our mutual group of friends. I saw him every evening and every time we went out, it was together.

    Fast forward and 3 years into the relationship, after I just accepted a new job far from everyone I know to be with him, he breaks up with me. I realise I left myself with very few real friends. I don't feel comfortable going out with our group any more. I was such a state for a few months that it was hard to be myself since I was so distraught.

    This left me having to move in a part of London, live with people I found through spare room and I had to make a whole new bunch of friends when I started my job.

    I know of quite a few girls who leave some of their friends behind when they get a boyfriend because spending time with the boyfriend is so much better than time with them. And that's not a problem as long as the boyfriend is around, but if you two break up, you're going to be in a really awkward situation.

    Wishing you two all the best though, didn't mean to sound doom and gloom, just wanted to share my experience with this!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think what you have sounds great so far!

    However I was in the exact same situation. I was with a great guy, my best friend. We moved in together and since I was so busy with work and since we moved further away from my friends, I didnt have time to see my friends as much and I drifted until I only ever saw our mutual group of friends. I saw him every evening and every time we went out, it was together.

    Fast forward and 3 years into the relationship, after I just accepted a new job far from everyone I know to be with him, he breaks up with me. I realise I left myself with very few real friends. I don't feel comfortable going out with our group any more. I was such a state for a few months that it was hard to be myself since I was so distraught.

    This left me having to move in a part of London, live with people I found through spare room and I had to make a whole new bunch of friends when I started my job.

    I know of quite a few girls who leave some of their friends behind when they get a boyfriend because spending time with the boyfriend is so much better than time with them. And that's not a problem as long as the boyfriend is around, but if you two break up, you're going to be in a really awkward situation.

    Wishing you two all the best though, didn't mean to sound doom and gloom, just wanted to share my experience with this!
    Thanks for the reply! I did forget to add to my OP that I realise that if we broke up, I'd possibly be quite screwed! Well, until the next boyfriend at least, but who knows how long that would take. My boyfriend and I are pretty serious though and planning a future together, so I'm just hoping things go to plan.

    Also, I was already a loner before I met my boyfriend - my friends back home got boyfriends and even one of them had a baby quite young, so they weren't very interested in meeting up anymore. So I probably wouldn't really be much worse off if we did break up; I mean sure, it'd be crap, but I don't mind that I have moved to such a great city to be with him and would enjoy it here regardless.

    I am trying to make effort with the friend thing though. I'm on a website for making female friends, and I already have made one friend on it who lives an hour train ride from me but we meet occasionally to go to raves, so I'm glad I have her to take the pressure off my relationship a bit. I'm also talking to another girl on the website and hoping to meet her soon
    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the reply! I did forget to add to my OP that I realise that if we broke up, I'd possibly be quite screwed! Well, until the next boyfriend at least, but who knows how long that would take. My boyfriend and I are pretty serious though and planning a future together, so I'm just hoping things go to plan.

    Also, I was already a loner before I met my boyfriend - my friends back home got boyfriends and even one of them had a baby quite young, so they weren't very interested in meeting up anymore. So I probably wouldn't really be much worse off if we did break up; I mean sure, it'd be crap, but I don't mind that I have moved to such a great city to be with him and would enjoy it here regardless.

    I am trying to make effort with the friend thing though. I'm on a website for making female friends, and I already have made one friend on it who lives an hour train ride from me but we meet occasionally to go to raves, so I'm glad I have her to take the pressure off my relationship a bit. I'm also talking to another girl on the website and hoping to meet her soon
    Ooh what's this website, sounds interesting?
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    Same situation as you a while back when you didn't have anybody at all ha.
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    Awe, I wished I had a relationship similar to yours
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ooh what's this website, sounds interesting?
    Www.girlfriendsocial.com
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think what you have sounds great so far!

    However I was in the exact same situation. I was with a great guy, my best friend. We moved in together and since I was so busy with work and since we moved further away from my friends, I didnt have time to see my friends as much and I drifted until I only ever saw our mutual group of friends. I saw him every evening and every time we went out, it was together.

    Fast forward and 3 years into the relationship, after I just accepted a new job far from everyone I know to be with him, he breaks up with me. I realise I left myself with very few real friends. I don't feel comfortable going out with our group any more. I was such a state for a few months that it was hard to be myself since I was so distraught.
    Thos sounds word for word like my life. I moved across the country for him and after three years I had to come running back to my parents as we broke up. It only happened last week so I'm still pretty shook up over it all and feeling very lonely.

    But OP- if something ever does happen, it's good to have someone else so you can cry on their shoulder.
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    Not much time, but it sounds like you are in love, conventional love, head over heals in love, with a guy that in the ideal world you`d be able to fall out of love with, to replace him with a guy that could provide you the whole package. The love and everything that friendship can be.
    As much as we may hide from this truth, no love can be genuinely complete without first perfection of friendship.
    • #3
    #3

    I know exactly what this is like, I'm in the exact same situation. I'm always looking for ways to meet new people. I want to find a small group of real and loyal friends although that is quite hard nowadays.

    I guess its just about putting yourself out there whenever you get the opportunity, like trying to make sure you strike up conversation whenever and wherever you can, at work or at an event and exchange details or add each other on social networking sites, although that hasn't worked out for me yet as i don't go out to places where there are lots of people all the time.

    If anyone else knows websites or tips and places to meet new people/friends please post. Although university is one it is a very big place and people may not always keep in touch if they come from different countries.
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    I'm the same age as you and I think if you are happy in your relationship then that's fine and normal.

    My boyfriend is my best friend. He was my best friend even before we got together 6 years ago. We both do have other friends, some mutual, but even my best girlfriend (friend for 9 years) is someone that I only see every month or so, because we both have busy lives. As you get older, family becomes more important than friends.

    Yes it would be horrible if we broke up, but there is no point in trying to create a safety net while you are in a happy and secure relationship because that might send the wrong message to your partner.

    There is nothing wrong with making new friends as long as you consider your partner's feeling while doing so. e.g if you make friends with single girls who want you to go out with them while they are on the pull, your partner may not like that.
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    (Original post by carasezmoo)
    Thos sounds word for word like my life. I moved across the country for him and after three years I had to come running back to my parents as we broke up. It only happened last week so I'm still pretty shook up over it all and feeling very lonely.

    But OP- if something ever does happen, it's good to have someone else so you can cry on their shoulder.
    aww
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    (Original post by Bobbi!)
    I'm the same age as you and I think if you are happy in your relationship then that's fine and normal.

    My boyfriend is my best friend. He was my best friend even before we got together 6 years ago. We both do have other friends, some mutual, but even my best girlfriend (friend for 9 years) is someone that I only see every month or so, because we both have busy lives. As you get older, family becomes more important than friends.

    Yes it would be horrible if we broke up, but there is no point in trying to create a safety net while you are in a happy and secure relationship because that might send the wrong message to your partner.

    There is nothing wrong with making new friends as long as you consider your partner's feeling while doing so. e.g if you make friends with single girls who want you to go out with them while they are on the pull, your partner may not like that.
    Thanks for your reply. Yeah, I don't want looking for friendships to seem too much like I'm trying to "create a safety net" in case my boyfriend and I broke up, although I guess it'd be good for that anyway. Even if we (hopefully) stay together for the rest of our lives, I still feel like it's good to have other friends to take some pressure off relying on my boyfriend for everything, especially as he doesn't like all the same things as me so it's good to find other people to share common interests with. For example, my boyfriend hates raves and clubbing, so it's good that I've managed to find a friend to go to that stuff with instead.

    My boyfriend totally trusts me to hang out with whoever I like and go wherever I want, as long as I obviously don't do anything stupid like kissing other people. He knows the only person I'm interested in being with is him :yep:
 
 
 
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