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    I was in an abusive relationship when I was 15/16, and I was cutting and near suicidal. Never officially diagnosed with depression but I'm pretty sure that's what it was.

    Fast forward two years and I was much happier. I had a boyfriend and I mean the world to him, and he does to me. However he's recently gone away to Australasia for several months. About a month before he left I started experiencing days where I felt incredibly sad. I'd cry at everything, and I could hardly get out of bed, let alone do work. Now that he's gone I've been experiencing more and more of these days. I've had the urge to self harm but so far I've resisted. My sleeping pattern has become incredibly erratic and I'm waking up at 3-5 in the morning.

    He suffered from depression very badly in the past and he believes that it's what I have. But some days I feel almost normal, and I can go to uni and do work like normal, although I still cry at the tiniest little things and get down for maybe an hour or two at a time. He wants me to go to the doctor and I've made an appointment. However when I feel 'normal' I worry that I'm wrong and that all people feel like this. I often feel like **** when I see photos of him on Facebook, knowing he's enjoying himself whilst I'm here feeling worthless. Communication is not an issue - we talk every day and he tells me all the time how much he loves me and can't wait to be home with me.

    So I guess my question is: can this really be depression when I sometimes can do 'normal' things and only exhibit minor symptoms, even though on others I feel completely helpless and overwhelmed?

    Tl;dr was in abusive relationship several years ago. Now in new relationship and depression is coming back, exacerbated by him being away for several months. But I sometimes feel 'normal', so I'm not sure if it is depression
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    Poor you! It is quite understandable that you would suffer depression based on an abusive relationship and the fact that your boyfriend is in the other side of the world! It is however great that he is talking every day, these situations sometimes end up with a break up etc from less committed people!

    The fact you feel normal at times means you are suffering what I would call 'situational' depression rather than 'chemical' depression. The waking early (and not getting back to sleep) is a classic symptom of depression and/or anxiety.

    How long until he comes back?

    You may want to take antidepressants for the depression but think carefully first.

    What might help when a partner Is away is if you know the days until his return, come up with a 'road trip' or similar where each day your boyfriend gets 'closer.'
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    Depression is often misunderstood as being simply 'feeling sad all the time'. It's not that at all. You can have 'normal' days (as you call them), and you can laugh and smile, but if you find you are feeling as low as you say quite frequently, this could be depression. Based on your history, I'd say it was. Go and talk to your GP. You may be prescribed antidepressants and/or referred to a counsellor. I would highly recommend doing this, because it can be incredibly helpful. Of course you are feeling sad with your boyfriend being away, I also have that to look forward to in the near future. I have a history of depression also, and am worried about it rearing its ugly head when my boyfriend leaves. I think the first step is understanding it and figuring out how to help yourself feel happy on your own. Counselling can help you do this.

    Good luck!
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    (Original post by Wimbs)
    Poor you! It is quite understandable that you would suffer depression based on an abusive relationship and the fact that your boyfriend is in the other side of the world! It is however great that he is talking every day, these situations sometimes end up with a break up etc from less committed people!

    The fact you feel normal at times means you are suffering what I would call 'situational' depression rather than 'chemical' depression. The waking early (and not getting back to sleep) is a classic symptom of depression and/or anxiety.

    How long until he comes back?

    You may want to take antidepressants for the depression but think carefully first.

    What might help when a partner Is away is if you know the days until his return, come up with a 'road trip' or similar where each day your boyfriend gets 'closer.'
    Absolutely won't break up, we mean the world to each other, so at least I have that he comes back in February. That's a really cute idea, thank you.

    I'll consult my doctor and see if he recommends antidepressants, thank you
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    (Original post by Nerol)
    Depression is often misunderstood as being simply 'feeling sad all the time'. It's not that at all. You can have 'normal' days (as you call them), and you can laugh and smile, but if you find you are feeling as low as you say quite frequently, this could be depression. Based on your history, I'd say it was. Go and talk to your GP. You may be prescribed antidepressants and/or referred to a counsellor. I would highly recommend doing this, because it can be incredibly helpful. Of course you are feeling sad with your boyfriend being away, I also have that to look forward to in the near future. I have a history of depression also, and am worried about it rearing its ugly head when my boyfriend leaves. I think the first step is understanding it and figuring out how to help yourself feel happy on your own. Counselling can help you do this.

    Good luck!
    Thank you! This is really helpful! I have an appointment for my GP but my worry is that if I went to a counsellor, my family would find out. They don't believe in mental illness at all so it would make things very difficult. I'll see what my GP recommends.

    Thank you again
 
 
 
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