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Shall i come out to my counsellor? watch

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    Ive only told one person. It not something im completely comfortable with yet, and is quite a burdon
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    I think it would be good to tell your counselor. It would be entirely confidential. You said you're not completely comfortable yet, I think if you were to get talking with them they would offer a safe place to explore those feelings of being uncomfortable and should hopefully make you fell better talking about it.
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    Telling your counsellor would be a great start, it'll give you someone to talk to until you decide tell everyone else!

    I was in the same boat before and never told my counsellor and ended up waiting another 2 years before telling anyone. Now looking back on it I wish I did! But everyone is different, just make sure you're comfortable before telling your counsellor.
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    awhhhh well congratulations that you've told SOMEONE I know that's very hard to do and i wish it wasn't but that's the world we live in. I think telling your counsellor would be a great idea! because it's completely confidential and you'll see how they react and you can plan with them how to tell other people if you want. I think if you're ready and this is who you are you shouldn't have to hide it! If you find it hard to tell them - don't build it up it makes you feel awkward and weird haha, you can write it on a piece of paper and hand it to them or something

    also i know it might be nerve wracking but i watched a buzzfeed video the other day and i thought it was quite funny and could be relatable for you here, to calm the nerves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyP5jpn4TIE

    and don't worry! everything will be fine and i'm sure everyone will accept you and love you because hey! you're still you and nothing changed about you! it's like changing your favourite colour honestly don't worry if you have open minded people around you it will be okay. If you don't it might be a bit harder and people may try to put you down but don't listen to them, hold your head up high because they don't matter and they don't deserve your attention if they won't pay you theirs.

    Good luck !
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    What would that achieve?
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    (Original post by Bupdeeboowah)
    What would that achieve?
    I'm not sure.. Well, it is one of the things affecting me and in counselling I think I need to talk about those kind of things
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure.. Well, it is one of the things affecting me and in counselling I think I need to talk about those kind of things
    Then all the more you should tell the counselor since it is issue!
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    (Original post by Bupdeeboowah)
    Then all the more you should tell the counselor since it is issue!
    I get that its something that could help me move forward. But I also would feel so awkward and ashamed, the counsellor is of the same gender as me too
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I get that its something that could help me move forward. But I also would feel so awkward and ashamed, the counsellor is of the same gender as me too
    I'm quite sure he's trained in such matters and would be able to treat your situation with understanding and respect.
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    (Original post by Bupdeeboowah)
    I'm quite sure he's trained in such matters and would be able to treat your situation with understanding and respect.
    It's a she, and I hope so
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    If it comes in dconversation, i would do it
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    If it's affecting you, I think you should tell her. My counsellor knows I am bisexual but I didn't come out as such I just dropped it into the conversation. I didn't make a thing of it so she didn't either. I was just talking and I said something like "I ran into this girl, Maya, that I used to date and blah blah blah" just carried on with what I was explaining.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's a she, and I hope so
    A good counsellor would not judge and would not be like ZOMG, SHE'S GONNA HIT ON ME!!!!! Her only concern would be ensure she is providing a safe space in which for you to explore your feelings and get more comfortable with yourself.

    I've had therapy twice in the last 6 years or so, both with women. The first time, in 2011, I was still not quite sure, so I just mentioned in one of the last few sessions that was uncertain about my sexuality. By 2014, I had pretty much decided I am a lesbian, and so I told my second therapist this in the assessment we did. Neither of them batted an eyelid or panicked or thought I was hitting on them, and neither one forced me to talk about it either. They just made sure that I knew that if I wanted to talk about it, that I could

    So I guess question is, how good is your counsellor and do you trust her?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I get that its something that could help me move forward. But I also would feel so awkward and ashamed, the counsellor is of the same gender as me too
    There's no need to feel awkward or ashamed, I promise your sexuality doesn't change anything, but if it's something that you need help coming to terms with or just in general, it would probably be a good idea to tell your councillor. I know it's hard when your sexuality isn't heterosexual and you worry about how people will react, but I'd like to think as they're a councillor (or hopefully just a decent person in general) they wouldn't think anything of it
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If it's affecting you, I think you should tell her. My counsellor knows I am bisexual but I didn't come out as such I just dropped it into the conversation. I didn't make a thing of it so she didn't either. I was just talking and I said something like "I ran into this girl, Maya, that I used to date and blah blah blah" just carried on with what I was explaining.
    Yeh it definitely is, but for some reason I feel scared to. Im hoping I can just get more comfortable with ut myself, then it wont be a big issue

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    A good counsellor would not judge and would not be like ZOMG, SHE'S GONNA HIT ON ME!!!!! Her only concern would be ensure she is providing a safe space in which for you to explore your feelings and get more comfortable with yourself.

    I've had therapy twice in the last 6 years or so, both with women. The first time, in 2011, I was still not quite sure, so I just mentioned in one of the last few sessions that was uncertain about my sexuality. By 2014, I had pretty much decided I am a lesbian, and so I told my second therapist this in the assessment we did. Neither of them batted an eyelid or panicked or thought I was hitting on them, and neither one forced me to talk about it either. They just made sure that I knew that if I wanted to talk about it, that I could

    So I guess question is, how good is your counsellor and do you trust her?
    Lol yeh I hope she would not think that. Well I have only has one session, and so far she seems really understanding and helpful. Even so, I never know if she will be ok with it, maybe this is me being paranoid because my family is pretty anti-gay

    I actually think she womt care, but formsome reason I care and find it hard to tell people who I am

    (Original post by lovepeacelife)
    There's no need to feel awkward or ashamed, I promise your sexuality doesn't change anything, but if it's something that you need help coming to terms with or just in general, it would probably be a good idea to tell your councillor. I know it's hard when your sexuality isn't heterosexual and you worry about how people will react, but I'd like to think as they're a councillor (or hopefully just a decent person in general) they wouldn't think anything of it
    Thanks I appreciate it. I guess there is more good than bad that would come from me trying to verbalise whats on my mind, right?
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    It would be a good move to tell her, but you should only say it when you are comfortable, in my opinion.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lol yeh I hope she would not think that. Well I have only has one session, and so far she seems really understanding and helpful. Even so, I never know if she will be ok with it, maybe this is me being paranoid because my family is pretty anti-gay

    I actually think she womt care, but formsome reason I care and find it hard to tell people who I am
    Really sorry to hear your family is anti-gay, that must make it really hard to know who to confide in. Maybe have another session or two to get comfortable and then tell her, if that might be easier? I'm sure she wouldn't judge you though - it's not a counsellor's place to! :nah:

    Sorry there are some words missing in my replies, computer doesn't like TSR atm
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Really sorry to hear your family is anti-gay, that must make it really hard to know who to confide in. Maybe have another session or two to get comfortable and then tell her, if that might be easier? I'm sure she wouldn't judge you though - it's not a counsellor's place to! :nah:

    Sorry there are some words missing in my replies, computer doesn't like TSR atm
    Thanks, I dont think she will judge me. Ive got my second appointment tomorrow but I dont think I will tell her. I dont know why im overthinking it so much ugh
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks, I dont think she will judge me. Ive got my second appointment tomorrow but I dont think I will tell her. I dont know why im overthinking it so much ugh
    I think it's understandable that you are overthinking it, if you're surrounded by so much negativity at home Try not to be too hard on yourself :hugs:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by delinquents)
    Telling your counsellor would be a great start, it'll give you someone to talk to until you decide tell everyone else!

    I was in the same boat before and never told my counsellor and ended up waiting another 2 years before telling anyone. Now looking back on it I wish I did! But everyone is different, just make sure you're comfortable before telling your counsellor.
    (Original post by z33)
    awhhhh well congratulations that you've told SOMEONE I know that's very hard to do and i wish it wasn't but that's the world we live in. I think telling your counsellor would be a great idea! because it's completely confidential and you'll see how they react and you can plan with them how to tell other people if you want. I think if you're ready and this is who you are you shouldn't have to hide it! If you find it hard to tell them - don't build it up it makes you feel awkward and weird haha, you can write it on a piece of paper and hand it to them or something

    also i know it might be nerve wracking but i watched a buzzfeed video the other day and i thought it was quite funny and could be relatable for you here, to calm the nerves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyP5jpn4TIE

    and don't worry! everything will be fine and i'm sure everyone will accept you and love you because hey! you're still you and nothing changed about you! it's like changing your favourite colour honestly don't worry if you have open minded people around you it will be okay. If you don't it might be a bit harder and people may try to put you down but don't listen to them, hold your head up high because they don't matter and they don't deserve your attention if they won't pay you theirs.

    Good luck !
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If it's affecting you, I think you should tell her. My counsellor knows I am bisexual but I didn't come out as such I just dropped it into the conversation. I didn't make a thing of it so she didn't either. I was just talking and I said something like "I ran into this girl, Maya, that I used to date and blah blah blah" just carried on with what I was explaining.
    (Original post by lovepeacelife)
    There's no need to feel awkward or ashamed, I promise your sexuality doesn't change anything, but if it's something that you need help coming to terms with or just in general, it would probably be a good idea to tell your councillor. I know it's hard when your sexuality isn't heterosexual and you worry about how people will react, but I'd like to think as they're a councillor (or hopefully just a decent person in general) they wouldn't think anything of it
    I still havnt done it

    My university only can offer a limited number of sessions and i only have one more left

    I struggle to even tell her what ive done this week

    feel so upset with myself
 
 
 
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