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I'm pretty certain the guy I'm dating doesn't have a 'real' job...

Its very early days and I haven't really been able to get to the bottom of his job status. All I know is that from past experiences when a guy is very vague about his job he either doesn't work or does something that isn't above water (illegal). He seems to be very money motivated which is ok if you're going about it the right way.

How do I get to the bottom of this? If I do what next? I don't want to get caught up in this lifestyle and I'm in my late 20's I don't really have time to try and get someone on the right tracks. But what if he is potentially a good guy besides this?
Original post by Anonymous
Its very early days and I haven't really been able to get to the bottom of his job status. All I know is that from past experiences when a guy is very vague about his job he either doesn't work or does something that isn't above water (illegal). He seems to be very money motivated which is ok if you're going about it the right way.

How do I get to the bottom of this? If I do what next? I don't want to get caught up in this lifestyle and I'm in my late 20's I don't really have time to try and get someone on the right tracks. But what if he is potentially a good guy besides this?


Go and do something about it like ask someone with sense rather than post it on a website full of pubescent teens and dysfunctional weirdos.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Its very early days and I haven't really been able to get to the bottom of his job status. All I know is that from past experiences when a guy is very vague about his job he either doesn't work or does something that isn't above water (illegal). He seems to be very money motivated which is ok if you're going about it the right way.

How do I get to the bottom of this? If I do what next? I don't want to get caught up in this lifestyle and I'm in my late 20's I don't really have time to try and get someone on the right tracks. But what if he is potentially a good guy besides this?


If it's still early on, I'd say wait it out a little for now. It could be that he doesn't work at the moment and is embarrassed to say so, or you could be right and he could be doing something illegal. The more time you spend with him, the more you will get to know his character. If he seems overly secretive, maybe he is up to something. You can always ask him about it directly, but don't push it at such an early stage if he is someone you want to get to know further.
Lol i suspect he's a drug dealer.
Reply 4
Original post by 
Go and do something about it like ask someone with sense rather than post it on a website full of pubescent teens and dysfunctional weirdos.


Lool. Hey I've recieved good advice on here before. Just wanted to see if anyone else has been in a similar situation.
Reply 5
Original post by Nerol
If it's still early on, I'd say wait it out a little for now. It could be that he doesn't work at the moment and is embarrassed to say so, or you could be right and he could be doing something illegal. The more time you spend with him, the more you will get to know his character. If he seems overly secretive, maybe he is up to something. You can always ask him about it directly, but don't push it at such an early stage if he is someone you want to get to know further.


You might be right. It all seems very sketchy to me. Thanks I'll see if I can get to the bottom of this. I won't push it, but at the same time I don't want it to get to the point where I really like him and I'm totally against whatever it is he does.
Reply 6
Original post by samina_ay
Lol i suspect he's a drug dealer.


My first thought I can't lie. I met him on my lunch break and even then I thought hmm no work today (I know its bad). I know people have days off and what not, but like I said I've met guys that have had the same sketchy behaviour.
Would you be asking this question if you were really interested or really liked him? In my view, the person should always come above career success and riches etc(within reason, there's homelessness etc)- if you are really interested by them or care, then the rest should be secondary-you want to support them in what they do. I know if a woman is , even passively aggressively, 'busting by balls', so to speak, over career, and assessing me for financial potential, then clearly she doesn't like me for who I am and is thinking a different way, and also that she will never be supportive of me. When I was youg and naive I would get more trapped in trying to have the right appearance of how I would progress or money situations, but then I realised that is a mugs game. Not being true to myself, and trying to attract someone on that basis, even if I managed it I would only attract pathological malcontents who were hypergamous, and who, even if they had lots of money, would never have enough. Now I look for people who give less of a **** about status, mine and their own. And I find much more soulful people like that.

Long un that but I just wanted to give you some insight, he sounds like he may be similar to me.

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