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Finding an older man who hasn't slept around much

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Original post by Anonymous
Sorry but your attitude is really strange/concerning.


According to most of the replies on this thread people share the same attitude as me. http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3687965 So whats strange/ concerns you about not wanting someone who has slept around.
Original post by Anonymous
According to most of the replies on this thread people share the same attitude as me. http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3687965 So whats strange/ concerns you about not wanting someone who has slept around.


I guess it's what many people prefer. If you could satisfy yourself that the guy had no STDs e.g. through a recent medical test, would it still matter to you though?
Why is everyone hating on OP lol, bet responses would be different by many if the genders were reversed :rolleyes:

OP if you want an actual virgin a lot of the ones at 30 will be for religious reasons or because they're basement dwelling bronies, but there are definitely good guys who've not slept around but they will have had gfs
Go to a Magic the Gathering tournament and you'll be spoilt for choice.
Original post by Anonymous
The post must be bs then as i am 30, almost. Though perhaps i shouldnt have posted my age lol. Although you are right in that the apparant reason for my question wasnt 100 percent genuine. My motivations for posting was not just to directly ask for advice (since you are right its just a student forum) but more out curiosity to get thoughts/opinions on my situation since i would genuinly want a man to have not slept around! Ive seen quite a few posts on here by males who say they wouldnt want a woman to have slept around as they are 'used or 'damaged goods' etc so im curious as to how people react when its a female stating the same thing :tongue: According to a few of the replies on here Im not supposed to be bothered if a potantial bf had slept around lots.


Haha my bad! I mean, I used to be like that about with women, when I was like 18, thinking they must have only slept with a few guys, but It just doesn't seem to be important anymore, unless a girl doesn't respect herself and sleeps around, but then I wouldn't talk to a girl like that..

I mean I just think at 30, most people have been having sex for atleast 10 years, so it's difficult to gage what the right number would be, that's why I personally judge it on how much self-respect a woman has, which does take a fair amount of time to work out, but still. You might be more bothered about how good the sex is :wink:
There are plenty of decent, non weird men who don't sleep around a lot but by the time they are 30+ they'll probably be engaged or married.
Original post by ron_trns
There are plenty of decent, non weird men who don't sleep around a lot but by the time they are 30+ they'll probably be engaged or married.


That implies you are either a male tart or a freak if you are in your thirties and single. That's nuts. Especially in 2015.
I do not see what's wrong with what the OP has asked.
Without the final objectifying comment, I think what she has said makes some sense and some of you guys have taken this post a bit too personally. Someone such as me who is waiting until marriage to have sex, it would be nice to find a guy who is doing the same. Not that he has to be a virgin but if he calls himself a Christian for example, I would expect that he is not sleeping around and that if he did in the past- he has chosen to remain celibate. I need to address an important issue though. I really do not appreciate the negative connotations that have been associated to 'virgin' and 'male' on this thread. It's sickening.
Just because some males may be virgins in their twenties, thirties, forties or whatever does not mean they are automatically social outcasts, video games freaks or anti social weridos. I think social, double standards play a major role in people's opinions. You guys need to stop. Male or female, people have the right and can choose to remain virgins for various reasons and that's ok. The pressure to be a dominant, male sex God is outrageous in today's world. I have many guy friends who use 'but you don't get girls' as a source of insult to other guys during arguments. We need to change this.

Another point I will like to address, I think it's odd that I've met a lot of guys who are Muslims, Christians, guys who call themselves religious etc and want girls who haven't exactly slept around yet they live an entirely different lifestyle, assuming she wouldn't care. All I can say to anyone wanting this... religious and non religious people, including to you OP: Don't have such an expectation and want unless you yourself are keeping up to this expectation. If you're not, forget those expectations and move on.
Original post by SaucissonSecCy
That implies you are either a male tart or a freak if you are in your thirties and single. That's nuts. Especially in 2015.


I totally disagree.
See a great example of what I am talking about. This mentality and thinking...it's utter nonsense and BS. Arrrgh this ticks me off so much.
Original post by Anonymous
The post must be bs then as i am 30, almost. Though perhaps i shouldnt have posted my age lol. Although you are right in that the apparant reason for my question wasnt 100 percent genuine. My motivations for posting was not just to directly ask for advice (since you are right its just a student forum) but more out curiosity to get thoughts/opinions on my situation since i would genuinly want a man to have not slept around! Ive seen quite a few posts on here by males who say they wouldnt want a woman to have slept around as they are 'used or 'damaged goods' etc so im curious as to how people react when its a female stating the same thing :tongue: According to a few of the replies on here Im not supposed to be bothered if a potantial bf had slept around lots.


It's all double standard to be honest. I totally agree with you in the sense that I too have seen many threads of men asking for 'non used goods women' and they themselves didn't receive as much backlash as you did.
I mean it's must be ok for the lads to ask this but when it's us females, woah...hell breaks lose since we should all accept men love sex, therefore it's only natural they'll have lots of it. See I'm not shaming these men for how much sex they've had, I frankly don't care and I do not mean to sound super sarcastic; it's just evident that some guys are having a go at you because they themselves have such beliefs towards gender and sexual relations. The idea that it's normal for males in 2015 to have lots of sex and unusual, more of weird when men don't or even 'worse' when they are virgins. It's all hypocritical!
Original post by Cherry82
I totally disagree.
See a great example of what I am talking about. This mentality and thinking...it's utter nonsense and BS. Arrrgh this ticks me off so much.


I don't understand you. What mentality? You think that every guy who is in his thirties and single must just sleep around all the time, or be a freak? There's no other types of guys? Or are you on my side in this argument?
Just need to make sure you check the 'use-by date' on the package.
Original post by SaucissonSecCy
I don't understand you. What mentality? You think that every guy who is in his thirties and single must just sleep around all the time, or be a freak? There's no other types of guys? Or are you on my side in this argument?


I thought you had implied that you believe if a man is a virgin/didn't sleep around was therefore 'a male tart' and 'freak'. Since your previous comment seemed to say so. If you weren't then my apologies.
Original post by Cherry82
I thought you had implied that you believe if a man is a virgin/didn't sleep around was therefore 'a male tart' and 'freak'. Since your previous comment seemed to say so. If you weren't then my apologies.


No, not at all what I meant.
Original post by SaucissonSecCy
That implies you are either a male tart or a freak if you are in your thirties and single. That's nuts. Especially in 2015.


What's nuts is that in 2015 people don't realize other people have opinions and if what you said is what I meant to imply I'd have said it that way. I wouldn't want to marry a girl who has slept around like crazy. This alone would not prevent me from being with her if she was genuinely perfect in every other way but it's a huge negative for me.

It would be hypocritical for me to think it could/should not be the case for women if it applies to myself. I don't really see a problem with any of this? I don't personally like girls who have slept around in double digit numbers but I'm not calling them scum, same applies to guys.
Reply 36
Lol good look love.

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Original post by SaucissonSecCy
No, not at all what I meant.


Oh ok. My apologies then, I misread what you were trying to say :smile:
Original post by Cherry82
It's all double standard to be honest. I totally agree with you in the sense that I too have seen many threads of men asking for 'non used goods women' and they themselves didn't receive as much backlash as you did.
I mean it's must be ok for the lads to ask this but when it's us females, woah...hell breaks lose since we should all accept men love sex, therefore it's only natural they'll have lots of it. See I'm not shaming these men for how much sex they've had, I frankly don't care and I do not mean to sound super sarcastic; it's just evident that some guys are having a go at you because they themselves have such beliefs towards gender and sexual relations. The idea that it's normal for males in 2015 to have lots of sex and unusual, more of weird when men don't or even 'worse' when they are virgins. It's all hypocritical!


Exactly I'm just not supposed to be bothered by the number of times a guy has slept around, according to the replies. One person above said that my 'attitude' was 'really strange and concerning' lol.

Also at the end of the day it's women who tend to suffer most from sti's like with cervical cancer/hpv which is an sti they do not test for on sti tests, so it would make more sense for women to choose men who hadn't slept around.
Original post by Anonymous
Exactly I'm just not supposed to be bothered by the number of times a guy has slept around, according to the replies. One person above said that my 'attitude' was 'really strange and concerning' lol..


Lol. Please don't take such notice of them.

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