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Is attraction predetermined? watch

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    #1

    At the tender age of 21 I've come to the realisation that this may very well be the case.

    I've had 4 "love interests", of which one wasn't official, but should definitely be counted.

    I would say that, physically, 2 of the girls were very similar. I don't think I chose them on purpose, it was more a subconcious choice. The other 2 were physically similar too, but different the previous girls.

    An interesting study carried out in Finland suggests that men are likely to marry a woman who reflects the image of their own mothers. But this "attraction" goes way deeper than just looks, see this here article...


    http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/...ating-your-mom



    Thoughts?
    • #2
    #2

    Yep - pretty much sums it all up. And women are attracted to men like their dad - in general terms. Have a read of Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    At the tender age of 21 I've come to the realisation that this may very well be the case.

    I've had 4 "love interests", of which one wasn't official, but should definitely be counted.

    I would say that, physically, 2 of the girls were very similar. I don't think I chose them on purpose, it was more a subconcious choice. The other 2 were physically similar too, but different the previous girls.

    An interesting study carried out in Finland suggests that men are likely to marry a woman who reflects the image of their own mothers. But this "attraction" goes way deeper than just looks, see this here article...


    http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/...ating-your-mom



    Thoughts?
    I agree about certain types, like for instance I always go for dark curly hair. I think the wanting a partner just like your mum or dad things is BS though- have never bought it.
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    (Original post by SaucissonSecCy)
    I agree about certain types, like for instance I always go for dark curly hair. I think the wanting a partner just like your mum or dad things is BS though- have never bought it.
    the desire for those resembling your parents is based on Freud's theories about childhood development and unresolved complexes etc, his theories are very controversial, but if there is any truth to it, it's more likely to be coincidence than an unconscious fixation - I mean, your partner and parent may be nice people, but that doesn't mean you are attracted to nice people because your parent is a nice person (cause and effect cannot be distinguished) sub in any feature, it still yields the same conclusions.....
    • #3
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    There is genuinely nothing that all 3 of my major exes have in common (other than the fact that they are male and I enjoyed spending time with them.)

    I therefore don't think I have a type.
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    (Original post by ZoëC)
    the desire for those resembling your parents is based on Freud's theories about childhood development and unresolved complexes etc, his theories are very controversial, but if there is any truth to it, it's more likely to be coincidence than an unconscious fixation - I mean, your partner and parent may be nice people, but that doesn't mean you are attracted to nice people because your parent is a nice person (cause and effect cannot be distinguished) sub in any feature, it still yields the same conclusions.....
    I'm far more inclined to believe genetic theories such as the different immune systems experiment-apparently we seek out people with very different genes regarding immunity, because this means the strongest offspring- they found(the exact experiment is online somewhere) that women liked the smell of t-shirts that had the sweat of the men with very different immunity genes to very similar ones.
    That kind of evidence is much more credible than some subjectivist Freudianism in my opinion.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There is genuinely nothing that all 3 of my major exes have in common (other than the fact that they are male and I enjoyed spending time with them.)

    I therefore don't think I have a type.
    I agree, I find people who make a kind of recipe for who they are attracted to very strange. Mine all bear no relation to each other whatsoever, in looks or character.
    Oh besides one thing, I seem to be attracted to a surprising number of women who were only children, I think there is some truth in birth order theories.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There is genuinely nothing that all 3 of my major exes have in common (other than the fact that they are male and I enjoyed spending time with them.)

    I therefore don't think I have a type.
    Are you a man or woman?

    In any case, the study suggests that women don't choose their partners the same ways as men.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Are you a man or woman?

    In any case, the study suggests that women don't choose their partners the same ways as men.
    That much is certain-it's definitely weird how they can address it like ticking boxes and a shopping list, I think that is (at least partly) a modern feminist Americanization though, which encompasses a sort of perfectionism and pathological hypergamy. Besides that observable difference I have no understanding of how women differ, in so many ways, in this regard. It seems inscrutable.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by SaucissonSecCy)
    That much is certain-it's definitely weird how they can address it like ticking boxes and a shopping list, I think that is (at least partly) a modern feminist Americanization though, which encompasses a sort of perfectionism and pathological hypergamy. Besides that observable difference I have no understanding of how women differ, in so many ways, in this regard. It seems inscrutable.
    "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars." That much is clear.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Are you a man or woman?

    In any case, the study suggests that women don't choose their partners the same ways as men.
    Woman
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Woman
    This theory doesn't apply to women.
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    There was a theory regarding the reason men supposedly choose the women who seem 'easy to get' due to an underlying urge to breed and pass on genes, and that women choose men who appear to be a useful resource for survival and child rearing. It has also been suggested that a woman's hip to waist ratio indicates her to be a healthy partner.

    These seem a bit reductionist and extreme to me, but there is something understandable about it.....
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ZoëC)
    There was a theory regarding the reason men supposedly choose the women who seem 'easy to get' due to an underlying urge to breed and pass on genes, and that women choose men who appear to be a useful resource for survival and child rearing. It has also been suggested that a woman's hip to waist ratio indicates her to be a healthy partner.

    These seem a bit reductionist and extreme to me, but there is something understandable about it.....

    Basically be just want a quick shag, so if we're in a relationship we can get it almost whenever we want it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    At the tender age of 21 I've come to the realisation that this may very well be the case.

    I've had 4 "love interests", of which one wasn't official, but should definitely be counted.

    I would say that, physically, 2 of the girls were very similar. I don't think I chose them on purpose, it was more a subconcious choice. The other 2 were physically similar too, but different the previous girls.

    An interesting study carried out in Finland suggests that men are likely to marry a woman who reflects the image of their own mothers.
    But this "attraction" goes way deeper than just looks, see this here article...


    http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/...ating-your-mom



    Thoughts?
    I heard about this idea a long time ago and I think it's bs, use your brain and come to your own conclusions.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    I heard about this idea a long time ago and I think it's bs, use your brain and come to your own conclusions.
    How about use yours and come back with an argument?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How about use yours and come back with an argument?
    No argument needed, why don't you just go and tell your friends that you're looking to date a lady that reminds you of your mother. If you don't get any weird looks perhaps your friends are just as weird as you.
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    Not sure about the thing about the girl being like your parents, in that case id want a stubborn wife...
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    The only common feature I can find that runs through all my crushes (and there has been quite a number of them) is that they weren't overweight.


    Interestingly, my mother is overweight. So uh...
 
 
 
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