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Family pushing me on edge! watch

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    I give up with everyone in my household. All they do is put me down, my achievements, my educational background (took some time off before going to university), my looks, the way I dress and so on.

    I regret staying home in first year, but I want to move out right now, although student finance will be slightly troublesome for me and I don't know how to get the maximum loan if I move out.

    Their views on homosexual people bother me and I find it quite insulting, although I am straight. My father raises his finger and tells me to "shut the **** up", threatens to hit me and threatens to throw me out of the house, if I argue against it. This brings back memories of the time he physically and mentally abused me for 10 years, just as my mother did. My mother tells me that I talk "utter nonsense/rubbish" and also threatens to throw me out of the house.

    I feel like everyone's against me and it does hurt, from time to time. I don't even know who to talk to. They tend to listen to my siblings more, because they think I'm the "weak" and "silent" one. Because of all this tension, I am unable to study at home and try to avoid being here.

    They won't let me quit my job, even though I've had enough of it and don't think it's worth the money, especially if it is getting in the way of my studies.

    I seriously need help, because it is starting to affect my life all over again.
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    I can relate, my household isn't as bad as this (I don't get abused) but I do feel that I am not respected as much as I should be, I don't like my parents views on topics such as homosexuality and racism e.t.c. and they don't respect my knowledge/intelligence/education, it often comes down to my elder brother repeating what i've already said for them to listen, it is infuriating. You have to take some sort of stand and take control of your life, there is help and information you can get from the government or your tutors. Before you do quit your job do make sure it is the best decision for your studies. Hope everything works out alright and sorry I couldn't be more useful.
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    (Original post by Albus Hagrid)
    I can relate, my household isn't as bad as this (I don't get abused) but I do feel that I am not respected as much as I should be, I don't like my parents views on topics such as homosexuality and racism e.t.c. and they don't respect my knowledge/intelligence/education, it often comes down to my elder brother repeating what i've already said for them to listen, it is infuriating. You have to take some sort of stand and take control of your life, there is help and information you can get from the government or your tutors. Before you do quit your job do make sure it is the best decision for your studies. Hope everything works out alright and sorry I couldn't be more useful.
    Thank you for the response, Albus Hagrid.

    Exactly that! Nobody listens to me, and one of my siblings has to reiterate exactly what I've said for them to calm down. They can be quite harsh towards homosexuality and racism, and I really dislike it. I have tried taking control and I mention to them that I'm an adult who is old enough to make decisions, etc, but they're quite ignorant about it.

    I will definitely sit down and discuss moving out options with my tutor, as I would like to move out as soon as possible. I will also probably call up student loans to see what they can do for me, as I did not take the full maintenance loan, anyway.

    Thank you for your help.
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    tell them that you're too old to take their **** and if your dad steps to you again sock him in the jaw
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    (Original post by alimunir2512)
    tell them that you're too old to take their **** and if your dad steps to you again sock him in the jaw
    Hahah, I wish!

    I've had quite a few confrontational disputes with them, but it only makes things worse. I'm frightened to even look my father in the eye... he's extremely aggressive.
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    (Original post by alimunir2512)
    tell them that you're too old to take their **** and if your dad steps to you again sock him in the jaw
    That is the worst piece of advice.

    OP if they can't respect you just leave like your going to.
    Live in halls, ace your degree and don't make a fuss about it.
    This way you will not piss your parents off.
    It might sound like giving in (not telling them to stfu) but you enjoying life without them will hurt them alot more then a petty argument/fight they will forget about.
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    (Original post by whydoidothis?)
    That is the worst piece of advice.

    OP if they can't respect you just leave like your going to.
    Live in halls, ace your degree and don't make a fuss about it.
    This way you will not piss your parents off.
    It might sound like giving in (not telling them to stfu) but you enjoying life without them will hurt them alot more then a petty argument/fight they will forget about.
    I appreciate your response. Thank you.

    I'll definitely go through those steps above. I just want to be happy and do the things I want, etc - no distractions, no fuss, no restrictions.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I appreciate your response. Thank you.

    I'll definitely go through those steps above. I just want to be happy and do the things I want, etc - no distractions, no fuss, no restrictions.
    No need to justify it to your conscience. Not like your giving up on them. You are leaving on a nice note, just visit them whenever.

    Good luck.
 
 
 
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