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Speaking to a married man? Should I stop? watch

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    I am speaking online to a married man. It started off through a comment on his blog(he is an atheist blogger) and I was curious to explore. I now text him and we exchange texts everyday. He is married with a kid and 9 years older than me. I am 22. There is an event going on next month and we have both agreed we might be attending. So far its all innocent but I feel comfort speaking to him. He has a good job, has similar views to me(his wife doesnt) and we share a common ground. My instincts are saying no but what if he divorced as he is currently having issuesin his marriage. I obviously do not want to break them up but if we could talk until she is out of the picture or not? Help?
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    Allow it fam
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    A little quick to jump to divorce! Well, it's perfectly okay to talk to a married man, you'll be glad to know that there's no rule against that.
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    Don't be the "other woman." Most married men don't leave their wives... They use a side girl as an emotional distraction and fantasy world, rarely ever intending on leaving their partners. The fact that he has a 9 year old should be another red flag because what kind of man would have an emotional affair on his wife and his son? When a person has an affair and children are involved, that person is cheating not only on the husband or wife, but also the child. I read about people being the 'other woman' all the time on this other site I use, and it almost always makes them miserable, especially once they realise the affair is an illusion that will inevitably come to an end.
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    The fact you mentioned his wife not sharing his views shows something . Don't be that person cmon....


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    Oh, what a godless world we live in.
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    (Original post by Alittlelostsheep)
    I am speaking online to a married man. It started off through a comment on his blog(he is an atheist blogger) and I was curious to explore. I now text him and we exchange texts everyday. He is married with a kid and 9 years older than me. I am 22. There is an event going on next month and we have both agreed we might be attending. So far its all innocent but I feel comfort speaking to him. He has a good job, has similar views to me(his wife doesnt) and we share a common ground. My instincts are saying no but what if he divorced as he is currently having issuesin his marriage. I obviously do not want to break them up but if we could talk until she is out of the picture or not? Help?
    If you have to ask this question it's because you feel like you're doing something wrong. If you feel like you're doing something wrong, it's not innocent. Someone having similar interests to you doesn't make them fair game. Back off if you feel like it's more than just friendly chat.
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    i'm gonna be really cheesy here and really cringy and say YOLO but it's true dont waste your life mulling over what to do use these valuable seconds you're wasting to go and tell him how much you love him and how when your with him you feel like the luckiest person alive he really means some to you and you want to embrace every minute you have with him and he will always have a place in your heart

    this is the stuff i'd say if there was a guy out there for me

    btw that just came from a thirteen year old boy
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    Do what you want to do but be honest with yourself - you know full well it's not innocent as you've already alluded to the fact you're hoping he divorces her. You don't give a damn about his wife and you most definitely do want to come between not just him and his wife, but his family inclusive of a young child. You're 22, a fully grown responsible woman who knows what's she's doing so you better be prepared to accept all the consequences of your full intentional actions.

    And yes I speak harshly because I advised a friend against doing something similar. Long story short, she didn't listen and it ****ed her up...of course he didn't leave his wife.
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    Don't be that woman.
    Put yourself in the position of the wife and show a little sisterhood and empathy. It could easily be you .
    Assuming that you do end up with the guy, how will you ever be able to trust him when you know he does this sort of stuff.
    But I'll be honest. I think you have decided already.
    Your mind set shows in saying he has a good job. What has that to do with the situation other than you calculating how good a catch he is. If he was a bin man would you be contemplating breaking up a marriage? I don't think so.
    Do the right thing and put this behind you.
    There are a million other fish in the sea.
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    You know you are doing the wrong thing even if you've tried to justify a good reason out of this. Imagine it was you in the wife's position how **** you would feel. You need to stay out of the picture until he is single and available but why would you want to be with someone who is willing to cheat on his own wife? What does that say about his loyalty? Regardless of how much he likes her or doesn't like her he committed to a vow and should therefore escape through proper legal means before moving on. How could you have a future with someone and have kids with them when he's free to cheat on his wife (someone who obviously has meant a lot to him in the past and now he treats like **** clearly) when it's obvious he has no morals and will do the same thing to you as cheating is in his nature and is a solution to problems instead of facing them, but I think we all know even if you do take this advice on board you're never going to stop speaking to him because you've already been selfish enough to ruin a marriage this far in


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    Don't even know what you want talk to a married dude who has a 9 year old kid for whatever reason. If I were you really, I would have tipped the wife and be done with it.

    FYI: I'm a 23 year old male, and I pretty sure we'll have just as much, if not more, in common.
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    (Original post by Bupdeeboowah)
    Oh, what a godless world we live in.
    What has this got to do with God?
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    (Original post by halliethestudent)
    You know you are doing the wrong thing even if you've tried to justify a good reason out of this. Imagine it was you in the wife's position how **** you would feel. You need to stay out of the picture until he is single and available but why would you want to be with someone who is willing to cheat on his own wife? What does that say about his loyalty? Regardless of how much he likes her or doesn't like her he committed to a vow and should therefore escape through proper legal means before moving on. How could you have a future with someone and have kids with them when he's free to cheat on his wife (someone who obviously has meant a lot to him in the past and now he treats like **** clearly) when it's obvious he has no morals and will do the same thing to you as cheating is in his nature and is a solution to problems instead of facing them, but I think we all know even if you do take this advice on board you're never going to stop speaking to him because you've already been selfish enough to ruin a marriage this far in


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    Why is talking to him wrong? And if he leaves a loveless marriage for the OP (assuming he does, obviously that may not happen) would THAT be wrong?

    Are we supposed to be unhappy all our lives because we make a mistake and marry the wrong person? Is it better for children to grow up in an environment of anger and bitterness and hatred?

    It is all very well being unpleasantly judgemental, moralistic and holier than thou but the world isn't like that, it is messy. And we none of us know the exact circumstances of this situation.

    I would advise the OP to follow her heart, but to exercise great care. I don't know enough about the situation to regard it in such black and white, right and wrong terms.

    Life isn't black and white it is grey.
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    (Original post by Bupdeeboowah)
    Oh, what a godless world we live in.
    Does your god forbid women sharing views and discussing things with married men?

    That must make things very difficult for married male university lecturers or tech support staff or doctors or any kind of advisers.
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    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by chocolate hottie)
    Why is talking to him wrong?
    I'm wondering the same thing. Maybe I'm reading it differently; but I see nothing wrong with talking to people who are married. Most of my friends of the opposite sex are married. Of course, it does become a problem if they are more than friends. (in my case, this absolutely isn't true in the slightest)
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    (Original post by Simes)
    Does your god forbid women sharing views and discussing things with married men?

    That must make things very difficult for married male university lecturers or tech support staff or doctors or any kind of advisers.
    My god forbids me from overeacting to things!
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    (Original post by Alittlelostsheep)
    I am speaking online to a married man. It started off through a comment on his blog(he is an atheist blogger) and I was curious to explore. I now text him and we exchange texts everyday. He is married with a kid and 9 years older than me. I am 22. There is an event going on next month and we have both agreed we might be attending. So far its all innocent but I feel comfort speaking to him. He has a good job, has similar views to me(his wife doesnt) and we share a common ground. My instincts are saying no but what if he divorced as he is currently having issuesin his marriage. I obviously do not want to break them up but if we could talk until she is out of the picture or not? Help?
    You could always just become friends? No rules against that.

    Just DON'T make any assumptions about his marriage.
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    I think you may be reading far too much in to this meeting OP.

    He may just be interested in talking 'shop' with you.
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    Woman posts a message about talking to a married man, results in:
    (Original post by Bupdeeboowah)
    Oh, what a godless world we live in.
    One post on a forum ≠ god packed up and left the world.

    (Original post by Bupdeeboowah)
    My god forbids me from overeacting to things!
    I think you're in trouble with your god.
 
 
 
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