Hi, I don't know how to start. In year 7,8,9 and then finally where I am in year 10 I have lost a lot of friends. All because I can't open up, I'm scared to... Even to reach out and tell someone I need help is hard. No one believes they all tell me that they have suffered worse and it makes me feel worse. I'm self-conscious but you wouldn't guess it if you met me. I'm so open and friendly but inside I feel like I can't be me. Everyone makes me feel bad, I do DofE and I'm the one who slows the whole group down and they can't help but to rub it in... if it was any other person they would be fine right?
Everything hits me like a knife and no one can tell that inside I'm so stressed out that sometimes I don't want to turn up at school and other times I don't even want to move from my bed. I find myself with this horrid weight on my shoulders and at the end of the day I've wanted to cry so many times that everything has began to over flow. I'm not a person who can open up and sometimes I don't think it's because I can't open up but because I'm alone. Everyone who said they were there left. And I'm scared the panic attacks will come back and I'm scared I might not be able to focus anymore on the things that matter and I'm scared my whole life is going to fall in so what do I do
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